Happy Birthday To Us

August 20th, 2013 by Ethos
Just the facts

Just the facts

Why Have I Not Played Mass Effect 3 Yet?

March 19th, 2013 by Riddles

So I was just browsing through the Riddlethos archives (as I am wont to do) and came across this tiny little post from three years ago. (Three fucking years? Shit.) In it, I lament being sick three hours before the midnight release of BioShock 2, and then comment on the fact that I finished Mass Effect 3, and “can’t wait for the inevitable third.”

Guess what? I STILL HAVE NEVER FUCKING PLAYED MASS EFFECT 3.

God, I’m such a shitty gamer. I haven’t touched Ni No Kuni in weeks, I didn’t play Dead Space 3, I didn’t play the new Devil May Cry, I didn’t… I haven’t… um… lots of stuff, I’m sure.

Anyway, I think I decided at some point that I would just buy the trilogy on PS3 and replay the entire thing. Y’see, I played Mass Effect 1+2 on my 360, which is pretty much officially retired and has been for some time. That’s probably why I lollygagged when ME3 was first released. And then, y’know, by the time the trilogy came out I had sort of forgotten about it and… yeah.

Well, hopefully, this will change. Tomorrow I’m officially moving into my new place of residence. Things should finally be getting back on track. And hopefully I’ll be able to sit on my ass and play games.

…I need a TV to do that. Dammit.

I’ll get you yet, Life. One of these days. One of these damn days.

Well in other news, a shitty game was released today. It’s called THE WALKING DEAD: SURVIVAL INSTINCT, it’s published by everyone’s favorite vampiric corporate entity ACTIVISION and it’s a FIRST-PERSON SHOOTER based on the HIT AMC TELEVISION SERIES and sHiT THIS IS FUN alright I’ll stop.

Anyway, even though I have not played it, I feel extremely confident in telling you that The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct is a shitty game that you should not pay for. It was quietly announced not even ten months ago, and Activision put bizarrely little marketing behind it. To my knowledge, they didn’t even mention the game again after its initial announcement for at least six months. Kinda strange, because if done properly, a FPS based on The Walking Dead could, y’know… be fun? But nobody expects Activision to produce such a game. And they know that. That’s why its release day and the only review to be found is a scathing critique from a rather messil designed site I’ve never visited before called Polygon. Design flaws aside, I have to give this guy mild props for running out, purchasing  a retail copy, supposedly finishing it, and publishing a review on the same day – it’s now the one review on the web. Know why? Of course you do. Review embargoes, of course. IGN, for example, has the option to watch a two-hour video of them playing the game, but no review.

Time passes

Okay, so… I actually watched the video. Not all of it. But way way more than I should have. It’s so bad that it’s literally enthralling. And listening to the guys playing it try their best to avoid trash-talking is both hilarious and sad.

The game looks like an Xbox game. Holy shit.

Well congratulations, Activision. You were among the pioneers of shitty, shitty licensed videogame adaptations, and it’s good to see that you’re keeping the tradition alive well after its prime.

Here’s the video, by the way. Watch it if you enjoy hating yourself.

Alright, well after watching that video I am officially drained. It’s time for some Arrested Development. Goodnight.

-Riddles

Hey!

March 11th, 2013 by Riddles

Why do people still comment on this site? Are their lives truly that sad?

More importantly, though, why do my feet smell like actual cheese?

Sorry, that was completely disgusting and I realize that. I just don’t know how to shock you people anymore.

Anyway, happy Monday I guess. I hope yours is less grey and rainy than mine. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but this is the first day off I’ve had in twelve days or something and it just feels like a depressing “fuck you” from the universe.

It probably is. The universe is a dick like that. Speaking of dicks:

I love this website. Still.

But stick around for a sec and let me give you an extremely detailed review of something I don’t like.

Review: 7 Day, 60+ Hour Work Weeks

They suck.

Now here’s something that I do like, but wish that I didn’t:

Yeahyeah, we’ve all been here before. A few months into the year and Ubisoft hits us with a beautiful new CG short film featuring some guy in a white hoodie stabbing people. Last year they had the whole American Revolution setting on their side, but what could they possibly-

PIRATES!

PIRATES AND DOUBLE SWORDS!

AND TITTIES!

I’m going to buy Assassin’s Creed IV and I hate myself and Ubisoft endlessly because of this fact. I’m still not even sure if I liked Assassin’s Creed III, but I sunk more hours into that game than I have since… the last Assassin’s Creed game. And one thing that can’t be taken away from AC3: the naval battle sections were pretty fucking epic. Not perfect, but close enough. And nobody had done it before. Now, they’re making a whole game based around it.

Assassin’s Creed meets Wind Waker plus epic ship battles? Fuck, I’m literally making myself excited as I write this.

Here’s the question though: will the PS3 version suck, or will the PS4 version be gimped?

Or both?

Oh, and speaking of Assassin’s Creed:

Silly Danish. The Damascus Skyline probably looks a little different now than it did 700+ years ago. Then again, I don’t know. I’ve never been there.

I’m starting to wonder how, exactly, people acquired their images before Google Image Search came along.

Alright motherfuckers. It’s not only my first day off in eight years, it’s Mike Babasick’s birthday and he just walked in the door.

I’M GETTING DRUNK TONIGHT FUCK IT

~Riddles

Okay, This Has To Happen

March 2nd, 2013 by Riddles

This is what Riddlethos thinks of me right now.

Sorry, but it does. Riddlethos has to come back. Just a little bit.

Not for you. God, no, not for you. Not even for Ethan “Ethos” Pipher, who comprises half of this site. But for me, and only for me.

Who am I? If you’re reading this, you already know: Oliver Motok, otherwise known as Riddles.

Two years. Two long years it’s been since I wrote a post in this hallowed Wordpress dashboard.

Almost four years since Ethan and I first launched this crazy little experiment.

Also, while we’re counting, this is the third time I’ve tried to resurrect the thing.  Will I actually make a post this time? It’s impossible to tell, but god damn it I’m going to give it a try.

Why? Because it’s time. Because I need Riddlethos back. I need to write about what I love again, and I need to remember why I loved it.

It’s a transitional time in my life, friends. I’m in a new town with a new job and I’m trying my damn best to take hold of a new outlook, a new structuring of goals and priorities. I need to write again. And I’ve never been one for journals.

That’s not to say that I plan on making this some sort of personal feelings blog. This is Riddlethos, and I will bring appropriate content. And in doing so, I will fucking provide beautiful therapy to myself. At my pace. With no promises of regularity. Do you dig?

I frankly don’t care much if you do or don’t. Let’s talk about what the fuck I’ve been playing recently.

Assassin’s Creed III

I’ve invested a solid twenty-three hours into Ubisoft’s ginormous, beautiful action game, and I still can’t quite figure out my opinion on it. Games like Assassin’s Creed III are what make me miss writing reviews. Writing a review (obviously) requires one to sit down and hammer out something that resembles an authoritative opinion, which is something I personally would like to have for AC3. But I don’t. As I mentioned already, the game is huge and beautiful. It’s also buggy and crashy, constantly battling the constraints of the PS3. The story is great. Well-written dialog, a some truly memorable characters, and some great use of the historical setting. The missions that accompany said storyline? Not so much. The gameplay outside of the story missions is still a ton of fun – as evidenced by the hours I sunk into it – but the more I play, the more it feels that my “open ended” gameplay experience is, in many ways, on rails. And that feeling disturbs me.

I know I liked Assassin’s Creed III. I fired it up today for the first time since I beat the game, because I frankly missed it. And yet, even upon going back, I got the strange feeling that something was wrong. Something is missing from Assassin’s Creed III. For all the steps forward it takes, it left me far less satisfied than Assassin’s Creed II, and even Brotherhood.

Ni No Kuni

Anything I say about Ni No Kuni at this point will be quite redundant. I’m classically late to the show and struggling to keep up, with a meager 14 hours on my playclock as of now. All I want to say is, good god, where have games like this been for the past six years? Let’s pray to whatever gods we serve that Ni No Kuni sells well in North America, because if it doesn’t, we may have the extremely ironic death of the big-budget traditional JRPG on our hands.

(Extremely ironic because Ni No Kuni is fucking amazing and it would suck if its poor sales signed the death knell for games of its like in the future.)

Uhm… Black Ops II

Yeah, whatever. Truth be told I’ve hardly played any Black Ops II. I’ve had a few fun afternoons with the online multiplayer, and I haven’t even touched the campaign. Worst of all, though, I’ve found the new Zombies mode to be a slight disappointment. And Zombies was the main reason I bought the game.

That being said, I still bought the fifteen dollar map pack they finally released on PSN yesterday. Why? For the one new Zombies map, in hope that it would be an improvement. And y’know what? It is. Die Rise is fun. It’s a big, complex standalone map that will clearly take time to master.

YES I PAID $15 FOR ONE MAP. LET ME HAVE MY SINGULAR GUILTY PLEASURE.

That’s enough for now. I’ll be back. Perhaps with something more substantial, perhaps with something even less. Or perhaps something with the precise same level of substantiality.

Is that a word? Is “substantiality” a word? Because Wordpress doesn’t think so, and I might be inclined the agree.

Than again, Wordpress doesn’t even think “wordpress” is a word, so how trustworthy can it be? Right? It doesn’t even know it’s own fucking name.

Right. I’m out. For now.

~Riddles

Best Riddlethos of 2010/2011 – Best of Lord Riddles

August 20th, 2012 by Ethos

And here we are! It’s 4:14 p.m. here in Toronto, CA (that’s Canada, not California) and I’ve finally completed my carefully-sifted list of the 10 best Riddles posts from 2010.

Except that it’s the 15 best. And posts from 2011 also count.

You see, although I wrote nearly double the posts he did during Riddlethos’ lifespan, it’s an undeniable fact that Riddles wrote twice as many posts of substance during that time. Also, this is really, REALLY late so I’m giving my buddy a little extra love.

Because I love him.

Pensive Riddles

A sincerely lovely picture of Oliver Motok

Bayonetta Review – Move Over, Dante

I already praised Riddles’ work on Bayonetta Faceoff Week, but the review of the titular game deserves a special nod.

During the days when Riddlethos was still living and breathing, Riddles was a more finely-tuned writer than I was. This review is concise, playful, well-structured, yet decisive and informative. Something I couldn’t pull off with nearly the same consistency.

Riddles’ JRPG Relapse

I’m not even going to apologize for using a tag with multiple posts in a single award anymore. We’ve all done it (meaning Riddles and I). It’s just a thing now.

Riddles’ relapse is sharp stuff as usual. But Riddles has fallen farther from JRPGs than I have, so it made his relapse opinions even more valuable and objective in my opinion. I’m more prone to being defensive about archaic mechanics that I still enjoy, whereas Riddles has the ability to separate himself for the sake of analysis. Except FF8. He’s wrong about that game.

This series also got the nod for his hilarious bit about Mitsuru and his recurring defensive bursts about not replaying games as often as most.

Hey, Wait a Minute…

This is basically identical to one of last year’s winners. Normally that wouldn’t be enough to make it, but this one does a hilarious one-up via the tags. I mean, it’s already funny that he gets to tag it with “Ethos is a lazy fuck” and “BAHA PAYBACK”, but the cherry on top is the “I’m not even going to tell them that your internet is dead” tag. I mean, he vindicates me in the same device that he uses to taunt me with. But it still works and even makes it extra hilarious.

flOw Is Free for Today

I point to a lot of Riddles’ serious work in today’s awards, so I don’t feel bad about also linking to short posts like the last one and like this one. I don’t even want to ruin it by summing it up. I’ll just say that nobody else presented gaming news like this and that’s why I tell myself that Riddlethos was important.

Farm Boy Montok

Farm Boy Montok without the obnoxious MS Paintjob

Sunday Soapbox: BioShock and the Death of the Cutscene

Speaking of serious work…

The Sunday Soapbox was Riddles’ idea and it shows. The reason the joke was that Riddles was the one who tried to maintain some semblance of editorial integrity is because he simply had more valuable things to say about gaming than I did. It’s not something I really realized then, but it’s certainly true. Just read his on-point deconstruction on the cutscene and why his precious Bioshock revolutionized it. He almost convinces me. That’s how good he is.

Save Data Should Never Be Locked (#Heavy Rain)

This is casually one of Riddles’ more amusing pieces.

Riddles can definitely be funny when he tries, but this one is funny and effortless at the same time. His encounter at the Gamestop, his quick assimilation into a Torontonian lifestyle, the always-present bitter undertones. Where else on the internet will you find something so related to gaming, so well-written, but also so pointless? This article is quietly one of the reasons why Riddlethos was so great.

Sunday Soapbox: Where does Final Fantasy XIII fit now?

This is nominated because of its achievement, really. As I mentioned, the Sunday Soapbox feature was Riddles’ idea and I’m fairly certain the concept for this particular editorial was his as well.

While it took until my review to be more even-handed with Final Fantasy XIII, Riddles was far more fair off the top. He never beat it, so he never got to see the game at its best, but in his defense, why should he have to beat a game for it to get good? With the exception of Bioshock 2, Riddles is far more even-handed out of the gate when compared to me and I think it’s his half of the article that made it one of the more commented on stories in Riddlethos history.

Blue Dragon Plus “Review” – Give Up Already

In a post that has so many levels of weird and inside-jokes, Riddles paraphrased an old RPGamer review I did of Blue Dragon Plus. Its existence is hard to justify, but damn if it isn’t hilarious. Seriously, I think Riddles’ next website should just be a “I’ll paraphrase your reviews and make them way more concise and entertaining” website.

This was extra funny for me at the time because I didn’t expect it, but I laughed just as hard when I re-discovered it for my research for these awards, so I knew it had a place.

Sunday Soapbox: Everyone’s Fantasy

Usually I’m the one to wax nostalgic and bring a positive whimsical finish to a gimmicky week, so it’s way more special when Riddles does it. That is evidenced by the great response in the comments and – of course – the sincere post itself.

(Funny to note that I consider this positive and whimsical when the article ends on such a negative note. But hey, that’s Riddles. Just one of the many reasons why we love him).

GokuRiddles

A totally real unaltered picture of Riddles.

Sunday Soapbox: Why Nocturne is Better Than Final Fantasy XIII

You might be noticing a trend now. A lot of Sunday Soapboxes have made the cut and now a number of Final Fantasy posts. That’s because those two elements combine for a very powerful Riddles potion.

See, Riddles is a great games journalist. Also, Riddles is very good with bitterness. The Sunday Soapbox was all about good editorialized game journalism. And Riddles hated Final Fantasy XIII. While a later post sums up the latter fact in a far more hilarious way, this one is like the Bioshock cutscene article in that the man just makes a lot of goddamn sense.

Alan Wake Review – Fear The Dark

It’s a little strange, but I was very caught up in the Alan Wake hype. It’s not really my genre, but I was into it and so I read a lot about it, listened to podcasts about it as well as buying and playing the game myself.

Therefore it has some weight when I say that I think Riddles’ review of the game is the most even-handed piece on the title I’ve read. It details everything that’s good and bad about the game, it details why and it references these things within the context of the genre. This review isn’t life-changing, but it is a good example of Riddles’ excellent work that I keep talking about.

Riddles’ Handheld Journey

One of the benefits to doing this Best of Lord Riddles stuff so late (besides being able to ostensibly present it as a “Birthday Gift”) is that I get to award Riddles stuff during the “unawarded era”: The time between the Best Riddlethos of 2010 Week and the site’s perma-coma. Good thing too, because Riddles’ Handheld Journey is a treat.

2010 was actually an outstanding example of Riddles as not only a great games journalist, but a great writer in general. Therefore it’s nice to shine a light on the return to posts that erred on the side of personal for him, especially during the first piece. I nodded to this week as one of 2010/2011’s best, and Riddles’ Handheld Journey was obviously a large part of that. I mean, the guy somehow made his 3-part article into a 4-part article! He obviously gave a crap.

Concerning Dragon Age II and Not Playing as a Female

Riddlethos went out with more of a fizzle than a bang, but one of Riddles’ last posts of substance was one in which he started by taunting our readers. Riddlethos had ups and downs, but it was certainly consistent in its tone.

Anyway, the opening paragraph is hilarious, and Riddles talks about something that we rarely explicitly tackled on the site: playing as a female character. It’s a casual romp through a light-hearted and funny explanation, but it’s insightful as well. One of Riddles’ last was also one of his best.

Biggest Letdown 2010 – Riddles

Alright, that last one had funny moments, but it’s time to give another one out for comedy content alone.

It might be weird to have one of the Best Riddles Awards go to one of Riddles’ Best Games Award posts, but man it’s worth it. Having let the wound of Final Fantasy XIII fester, Riddles lets loose on the title in his award for Biggest Letdown. Whether or not the time apart made him overly bitter or made him see more clearly is irrelevant. This is Riddles roasting at his best.

Sunday Soapbox: Riddles’ Visit to Toronto

I’m too much of a narcissist to not use this. And to not use it as the final Best of Lord Riddles award.

In this Soapbox, he talked about how awesome I am and how awesome my city is. Still, reading this just makes me realize how little of Toronto he really saw. That was the baby tour. Either way it’s cute to go on this wide-eyed journey with Curious Riddles. And it makes me realize just how desperately Toronto misses him. I might miss him too.

Well folks! I hope you enjoyed this time capsule of sorts. Riddlethos is certainly in a coma that the doctors are suggesting might be life-long, but if treasures like this pop up from the past every year or so, it’s worth it to keep the poor sucker alive on the machine.

Happy birthday, Riddles!

Riddlethos

Best Riddlethos of 2010/2011 – Most Embarrassing for Riddles

August 19th, 2012 by Ethos

This one is self explanatory. Let’s just dive in shall we?

Young Riddles

Finally an apt place to use this image.

In which Riddles wants to move to LA to play a demo of Final Fantasy XIII -

LOLLE

In which the “Riddles is a lazy fuck” tag has 15 entries -

It’s true. The “Riddles sucks” tag is pretty close to that too.

In which Riddles hilariously overrates a mediocre game -

I didn’t even read this review to give this an award here. If you think that’s unwarranted, just listen to this. He gave Bioshock 2 an 8.5. I never let him live it down. For a reason. The reason is that HE GAVE BIOSHOCK 2 AN 8.5!!

In which Ethos is embarrassed first -

This is a strange entry here because it seems like I’M the one getting embarrassed. And I am. Riddles posted the actual e-mail that I sent him verbatim, even using my e-mail subject line as the post title. But then the comments happen. And I am vindicated.

In which Riddles is swindled -

Umwat? What is this magazine peddling thing? I don’t remember this, but it’s definitely embarrassing for Riddles. Oh, and the comments are outstanding.

In which my collection of Riddles’ personal belongings grows -

Check the comments here. Riddles didn’t comment often, so when he did he was either really worked up or really embarrassed.

In which Riddles finally fails at Photoshop -

I FINALLY had a bad banner to hang over Riddles’ head and boy did I milk it. The comments are a good read.

In which Riddles admits to things we all suspected -

Gaming Confessions Week was a good idea. Not really enough to make it a “best of” Week, but a solid idea nonetheless. I thought I’d be the only one contributing, but Riddles crammed a bunch into this post. It’s rare for him – and therefore brave – but these were meant to be embarrassing, so it certainly qualifies for that too.

That’s it until the long-awaited Best of Lord Riddles post tomorrow!

Best Riddlethos of 2010/2011 – Notable Quotes From Riddles

August 19th, 2012 by Ethos

In reading over 50 GODDAMN PAGES OF RIDDLETHOS in preparation for these make-up awards, I came across some articles that weren’t quite good enough for a “best of” but included a quote good enough that it couldn’t go ignored. Therefore I created this new category.

Riddles

This is also one of Riddles' greatest quotes

Enjoy these incredible Riddlesisms. These Vintage Montoks. These Classic Olivers. These Top-O’-Da-Line Murfreesboronian Menaces.

…in no particular order

In which Riddles is an amazing salesman -
From “Hey! Look! Listen! 38” during What’s Worse Than February? Week

Hey! Look! Listen! was always known for its self-deprecating openings, but this one outdid all of them. I honestly can’t tell if this introductory paragraph turned away or sold more people on the column.

What’s worse than February?

This recurring “news” column, that’s what. This barely informative, self-gratifying, irregularly updated EXCUSE for videogame journalism.

I feel sorry for anyone who’s about to read it, frankly. But hey, everyone’s gotta bite the bullet and eat a shit sandwich at some point in their lives. For the lot of you, that day is today.

So let’s get this over with.

Just. Amazing. Sometimes Riddles would apologize for berating the readers, or he would try to justify his bitterness somehow. Nope, not this time. He just lets all the readers know – before they start reading – that the article is going to be all sorts of horrible and he writes it such that it assumes that the reader has no choice but to continue. Outstanding.

In which Riddles counters with pride -
From “Hey! Look! Listen! 38” during What’s Worse Than February? Week

Later on in the same HLL, Riddles offers this.

This thing went up a bit later than I anticipated. But hey, at least I did it, right? If nothing else, it means you don’t have to suffer another one of Ethos’ pathetic attempts to match my news-condensing prose.

While Riddles took many jabs at me, this was a rare glimpse at his genuine pride for HLL. Somehow in the same article as that opening paragraph too.

In which Riddles is on a roll -
From “oh, god…” during What’s Worse Than February? Week

I suppose it should be no surprise that Riddles was at his bitter best during a month he hates during a theme week made to celebrate that fact. Either way, this is gold.

I bought Valentine’s Day gifts for a girl once. She broke up with me four days later.

Straight to the point AND depressing.

In which Riddles is defensive -
From “So… Where are the JRPGs?” during JRPG Relapse Week

Riddles is wrong about Final Fantasy VIII, but I’m still glad he likes it. If only because of quotes like this.

Final Fantasy VIII – PSX (Blow it out your ass, haters)

In which Riddles is a badass -
From “Welcome to… This Week!” during This Week Is Copy Protected

Some (read: most) of these quotes have also been half-laughing at Riddles, but this quote is not one of those quotes.

In honor of Ubisoft’s stellar efforts to further the cause of big, money-grubbing companies that criminalize their customers, and of draconian DRM measures that will serve only to increase piracy, This Week is Copy Protected.

It was a gimmicky Theme Week, but it was worth it for that awesome intro. Riddles (sometimes) don’t take no guff.

In which Riddles inadvertently deconstructs his own character -
From “Initial Impressions: Final Fantasy XIII” during Final Fantasy XIII Week

Lightning is overly bitter at times, but she’s interesting and strangely likeable in spite of that.

I honestly don’t think he recognized the irony.

In which Riddles perfects the self-deprecating metaphor -
From “Oh, Well… This is Embarrassing…” during God of War III Week

Nobody does concise depression like Riddles.

I mean, we started out pretty well – with a review of the game and all. And then… nothing. The failboat weighed anchor, and went boldly sailing down River Riddlethos.

He goes on to call that metaphor weak, but my laughter begs to differ.

In which Riddles returns from a month-long hiatus -
From “I’m Back. Bitches.” during Dragon Quest IX Week

This is how Riddles marked his return from his month-long absence…

Yeah. That’s right. You thought, hoped, even prayed that you were rid of me. But whatever deity you place your faith in wasn’t listening, you poor unfortunate fucks; here I am,

…By insulting your God and calling you all fucks. Amazing.

In which Riddles reveals his true weakness -
From “12/22/2010 – At Least the Prince Still Loves Me” during Fuck You Again, It’s Christmas Break Week

After his hiatus, Riddles mostly took to writing great HLLs, lengthy TV retrospectives, and thoughtful game reviews. Good stuff, to be sure, but it took a bit for his true Riddlethos personality to show up in the form of timeless Riddles Quotes.

Guh. Take my heart and rip it to shreds, but don’t take my videogames.

Preach it, Riddles. The full piece is worth the read, too.

In which Riddles gets in a final jab -
From “3/25/2011 – Rinse and Repeat” during Dragon Age II Week

One of the lines in his last proper post is Riddles chiming in in parenthesis to make fun of HIMSELF.

After I finish the game, I’ll likely give it a proper review for my site. (Like you did for Dead Space 2? Oh snap!)”

Apt.

Honourary Mention – The best Riddles quote of all time -

I’m not going to quote it here, and technically this is from 2009 and already has an award and really shouldn’t qualify but I don’t care. Go to the article and read it yourself. It’s the picture caption. Slays me every time.

Best Riddlethos of 2010/2011 – Theme Weeks

August 18th, 2012 by Ethos

Here we go! More Best Riddlethos of 2010 Awards! Right on time!

Wait, what?

It’s 2012? Twenty-mother-fucking-twelve?

Well shit.

Riddles and I

Riddles (left) and Ethos (right) return from the dead to give out awards!

The important thing is that it’s 2 days before the beautiful and brooding Oliver “Riddles” Motok’s birthday. Therefore I am going to post some long-overdue awards leading up to the Best of Lord Riddles on the man’s birthday.

Today: Best Theme Weeks

Tomorrow August 19th (my birthday): Most Embarrassing for Riddles and Most Notable Quotes From Riddles

August 20th: Best of Lord Riddles

I TOLD you that you’d get it, you crazy-ass mother fucker.

Anyway, with more than twice as many weeks to choose from means that I chose 10 weeks instead of 5. Also, these are in chronological order, not “best of” order. Screw off.
(Click on the big teal words to go to that week. I link to the earlier page when applicable, because it’s better to read from the start.)

Bayonetta Faceoff Week

2010 started off with a bang, and wouldn’t you know it, it was mostly Riddles’ doing. The man came up with the concept, put in the legwork, and then actually wrote up the necessary articles. I admit, I didn’t expect him to do it.

Not only did he do it, but he did it with style. There were no corners cut and Riddles delivered interesting comparative content in a relevant time under an interesting premise. Oh yeah, there’s a full-fledged review in there too. Kudos.

Also, I talked about Darksiders.

JRPG Relapse Week

On a Riddlethos roll, JRPG Relapse Week had lots of thoughtful, amusing content. The site seemed to do the best when Riddles and I learned to strike a balance between insightful and personal with just the right dose of silly. JRPG Relapse Week did just that.

It was a weak start, but somehow Riddles and I pulled it together to deliver four pieces each, all of them supported by healthy play sessions with the games we were writing about.

Ethos and Riddles postop

Ethos and Riddles After the Operation

Final Fantasy XIII Week

The profound effect that the Final Fantasy series has had on both Riddles and I is very evident and the buzz around Final Fantasy XIII translated into a great week. Good impressions, a good editorial, the birth of IMpressions.

Not only that, but it was topped by one of my better reviews, if I do say so myself. Count in a lot of reader participation and this was a very successful week.

Ethos Presents: Pokémon Silver Madness Extraordinaire Week

This week marks the start of something of a Riddlethos Renaissance. Riddles and I constantly tortured ourselves over 2010 being a weaker year, but despite some dips in content, I would actually argue that it was unwarranted criticism. Our writing improved, our features and graphics improved, and we really got the hang of what worked for us.

My insane banner and constant PokéParty updates, Riddles review of two Blue Dragon games and also his God of War III review which publicly showcased one of the very rare times I got legitimately angry at Riddles made for a great week at our now defunct site. Also, that little God of War III spat ended up being a convenient springboard for our Fools in April Week…

Fools in April Week

This is now a legend in Riddlethos history. We knocked each other down, Riddles stole my 25th Scatter Storming, defamatory memes were created, there were pictures of dicks, there was an obituary, and I think I turned into a zombie at some point. Go revisit this gem of a week (which was, I should mention, Riddles’ idea).

The Final Fantasy Week

This is further proof that we worked in bursts at Riddlethos. Aprils Fools was a massive success and we just streamrolled into another great week, earning the third week in a row that I’m awarding a “Best Of”.

Sure, it was just an excuse to give out more awards and shove our fanboy opinions into the internet’s face, but it caused great debate and great content. And it happened in the face of technical issues as well.

Best of friends

Riddles (right) and Ethos (left) participate in their hourly hug

Spring Awakening Week

We kept returning to these non-weeks with ridiculous lists for a reason. They worked. Of course I wrote a list about cheery fun games while Riddles decided Spring would be best celebrated by listing his favourite depressing games. Oh, and posting pictures of springscapes. I may understand him more than most, but I still don’t get that guy.

Anyway, this happened only two weeks after The Final Fantasy Week. I’m telling you, this was the Riddlethos Renaissance.

Sexy Summer Week

It’s official. Seasonal weeks were the best weeks at Riddlethos.

After a dry spell, a Riddles hiatus and then a decent return for Riddles in Dragon Quest IX week, we turned up the heat with this ridiculous idea. Riddles and I shared countdown lists for both the sexiest men and women in gaming. The results are hilarious. Especially when it comes to vetos. Also, Riddles questioned his sexuality, I did nothing to downplay my flamboyant reputation, and …Joseph Gordon-Levitt made an appearance?

Waggle Week

It took a while for Riddlethos to get another theme week good enough to get one of these arbitrary awards. There was good content to be sure, particularly the addition of Lameish’s great videos, but it was never bunched together in a truly great cohesive manner again until Waggle Week.

We had articles detailing the then past, present, and future of motion controls. The articles were split up equally between Riddles and I and then we were all treated to a Sunday Soapbox from Lameish. Good analytical stuff and a healthy dose of making fun of me.

Handheld Gaming Week

This was sort of the swan song for Riddlethos, and the only week from 2011 to make the cut.

Like Waggle Week, Handheld Gaming Week looked at the past, present and future of handheld devices. But instead of choosing to look at it from an analytical all-encompassing industry angle, we went personal with it. It showed that Riddles and I still had a lot to reveal about our gaming habits and history. The week wasn’t really planned, but it ended up working better than anybody expected. The revisit is worth it for the resurgence into the Riddlethos of old soon before it fell into a deep slumber.

Just know…

June 21st, 2012 by Ethos

…that if Riddlethos didn’t die, this would have been the new “Hold your Horses” go-to.

Here’s a gift.

April 29th, 2012 by Ethos