Yes, it’s me. And yes, it’s Sunday. I’m not going to make this a “Riddles is a Lazy Jackass Edition” because I was also one of those things. Anyway, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to check news on the Nintendo Wii for the first time in weeks and weeks, so that’s what you’re getting today. Old Nintendo news. Excited? Let’s do this.
Looks cool, sure, but also like Twilight Princess...
Nintendo spills the beans on some e3 plans
Woo, big surprises here. Mario and Zelda. While Galaxy 2 will very likely be a blast and I’m curious to see if Nintendo can save the slow death of the console Zelda, it’s not enough to get me giddy like it used to. But although it should be expected, it’s very hilarious that Nintendo plans on spending a hefty portion of their press conference showing off the Wii Vitality Sensor. I just mentioned this on the Megaphone’s Ahoy! Podcast, but why the hell would anybody want a device for gaming that literally requires you to stay as still as possible. I believe we had all hoped this had quietly disappeared into the terrible idea ether, but Nintendo seems intent in pushing forth. Oh well, we all need a good laugh. (IGN)
Major RPGs hitting up the Wii
Hmm… I don’t know what to make of this. Xenoblade, the supposed – but not confirmed – next title in the Xenosaga series will make an exclusive appearance, and a brand new Mistwalker brainchild, The Last Story will also be exclusive to Nintendo’s confused little console. While these strike me as potentially high quality titles, The Crystal Bearers and Tales of Symphonia 2 also had my hopes up. Dragon Quest IX on the DS makes sense to me, but I don’t think epic RPGs make sense on the Wii. Or at least they absolutely haven’t yet. (IGN)
Seriously, Mistwalker? The Last Story? You’re not even trying anymore.
At least “Lost Odyssey” tried to hide the fact that its title was a Final Fantasy rip-off. It also sounded cooler. Even if the game rocks, that name never will. (See: Kingdom Hearts: Dumb Name)
Metroid: Dumb Name seems to still exist.
Just like the Wii Vitality Sensor appeared to be a gimmick to make Oprah fans happy during the e3 press conference last year, hardcore fans were beginning to think that Metroid: Other M was a stunt to stave off angry fanboys who were finally beginning to crack under Nintendo’s heavily casual new direction. But, just like Nintendo’s stupid pulse checker, the newest game with the dumbest name has popped back into the news. There’s a Japanese teaser website that, of course, says nothing, but Nintendo did say that they’re aiming for a Summer 2010 release. …also just for Japan. Anyway, I’m not a massive Metroid fan, but I’ve got a casual eye on this game. (IGN)
Harder to keep in your pocket...
Or not according to Sony and Nintendo, anyway. But what else would you expect? John Koller of Sony tried to make Apple’s success their own by stating,
“Apple’s entrance into the portable gaming space has been a net positive for Sony, when people want a deeper, richer console, they start playing on a PSP.”
Nintendo President, Satoru Iwata instead went on the slightly ironic attack by simply stating,
“It was a bigger iPod Touch”
I miss the fighting. Come back to us, Nintendo. (IGN)
Anyway, that’s that. Better than nothing, right? No? Piss off.
Tags: Ethos is a Lazy Fuck, Hey! Look! Listen!, Nintendo, Riddles is a lazy fuck
- I really don’t think Sony has anything to worry about from the iPad. There’s definitely a casual gaming space out there, but I don’t think many of those gamers are playing on the PSP, so Sony’s not really losing any sales to iPod/Pad/Phone gamers, I don’t think. The DS, on the other hand, might have issues, since so much of their market is casuals.
- Metroid: Dumb Name sounds all well and good in theory (at least in my mind), but I’m definitely holding out judgement until they show us how the game actually plays. Until then, the name’s the most stand-out part aspect.