Scatter Storming. Issue #019 “Mark Thunder in the Scatter Storm”

ss019Hello there everybody! Welcome to 6:30am Eastern Standard Time. The ONLY standard time in my books, because I’m a Torontonian and we’re assholes like that! Anyhoo, this week has been a blast so far. Good ol’ Riddles/Ethos rivalry, incredibly stupid pictures, and solid video game impressions. So let’s add to this cesspool of nonsense with the most pointless feature on the entire site: Scatter Storming!

20th Issue next week! –
Yup, I’ll have to come up with a new way to organize my “cover art” after that, since I think 10 issues is a good rotation number. My 10th issue won a Best Riddlethos of 2009 award, so I have a lot to live up to.*

Mark Fucking Thunder! -
Oh yeah! I forgot to mention it in my opening blurb, look at me as Mark Thunder on the cover! I’m such a fucking badass. Pit that dude against Nathan Drake, Jack Bauer, a big daddy, and Commander Shepard, and Mark Thunder would easily come out on top. No question. **

I’ll irony you! -
God fucking damn Final Fantasy XIII and my three weeks off that don’t correspond with its release. Seriously, I beat and loved Mass Effect 2 and Darksiders, and now I have nothing new to play until I don’t have the time to play it! Oh well, I’ll just stay up all night playing FFXIII and then get fired when I don’t show up for work. Worth it?

Heavy Rain Review –
IGN seems to love it. I still don’t really care.

Fable III looks awful -
Truly. And I had some fun with Fable II. Genuine fun. I mean, I sold it and I don’t regret it although I don’t sell many games. But still, I would never have called it awful. It looks like the design philosophy for Fable III is “how can we make this the most annoying unappealing game ever?”. Seriously. Be bogged down in politics while failing your arms in front of Natal. Sounds like the perfect gaming experience to me. Goddamn it.

I’ll leave you with this -
9 seconds of comedic gold from my early years. You don’t see me, but you hear my voice. Enjoy, and see you later, suckers.

* “a lot” in this case may also mean “practically nothing”
** Alternatively to no question, you may ask the question: “seriously?” To which I would reply “No…definitely not. Nathan Drake would win”. Mark Thunder would, however, defeat the big daddy handily.


3 Responses to “Scatter Storming. Issue #019 “Mark Thunder in the Scatter Storm””

  1. ConstipatedCow says:

    You need to upload many more classic videos. MANNNY more.

  2. DarthGibblet says:

    haha, yeah, Youtube doesn’t even have any recommendations for similar videos at the end. We need more!

  3. Ethos says:

    Well, Cow, Matti1st and I ARE having a classic movie night marathon tomorrow night! If you have the gay snowman, you should post that!

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