Ah… well, this is unpleasant. I would have preferred for the transition from Riddlethos to Riddles.com to occur without major incident, but it looks like Ethos has done it again. One final time.

A few hours after Riddlethos.com became Riddles.com, I received a phone call from Pogo, one of Ethan’s roomates. (Nice guy; met him while I was in Toronto. We hit it off pretty well, actually; so well that I soon found myself wondering why I hadn’t started a website with him.)

Anyway, Mr. Pogo had something of a bittersweet message to convey: It seems that the shock of losing both his best friend (that was me) and his website was a bit too much for Mr. Pipher to handle. At approximately 9:34 p.m. CST, Pogo walked into Ethan’s room to find him dead on his floor, covered in blood and semen.

From what the (strangely apathetic) Pogo could gather, it appears that Mr. Pipher cut his wrists several times while masturbating to Final Fantasy IX’s menu screen. Bit of an odd way to go, but then again, he was always a bit of an odd guy to say the very least.

You’re probably wondering, “what does this mean for Riddles.com?” The answer to that is absolutely nothing; or, at least, nothing detrimental. Pogo and I agreed that it was probably best not to involve authorities or family members. Rather, we’re going to let him keep what dignity he didn’t have. If anyone asks, Ethan Pipher eloped to some third-world country with his girlfriend, and nobody ever heard from him again. The girlfriend in question will be either silenced or paid off in due time.

On that note, I suppose this is as good a time as any to bring up the possibility of Pogo becoming a regular contributor to Riddles.com. Nothing’s official yet, but we’re working on it. And, if it goes well, there’s a good chance that Riddles.com could eventually become RiddleOgo.com. Or… something.

Anyway. If such a deal were reached, Riddles.com would expand its topics of interest beyond videogames, and into the realm of local Torontonian wing shops. In addition to all the most relevant game news, editorials, and reviews, you might see a review for whatever greasy chicken shack caught Pogo’s eye in a given week.

Also, there would be a lot more Modern Warfare 2 articles.

It’s been a bittersweet day here at Riddles.com, but as they say, it’s always the smelliest right before you take out the trash. Change is inevitable, and it can be a frightening thing. But I’m speaking from the heart when I tell you: it’s all for the best. Bear with us during this time of transition, and I promise we’ll all come out stronger.

Tags: Ethos is dead, Ethos sucks, he WOULD go that way, I'm not sorry for him

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 1st, 2010 at 7:53 pm and is filed under Fools in April Week. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.