The Five Sexiest Dudes in Gaming – #5: Cloud Strife

Oh yeah. We’re doing this. I’m about to write an entire post based on how physically attractive I find a male videogame character.

Face-to-face confrontations with sexual orientation ftw.

Ahem. Well, why should I be ashamed of the level of attraction I have for Mr. Strife? For starters, his game is awesome. I’m sure most of you are well aware of my fanboyism for Final Fantasy VII, but for those of you who aren’t: it’s probably my second-favorite videogame of all time, in constant battle with the immortal Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Cloud certainly didn’t look all that pretty in the original PSX classic (copious pixels tend to mask his beauty) but his personality was more than enough to win me over. Risky as it might be to say this, I empathized with the guy quite a bit. He’s a super-insecure dude who puts on a tough exterior in hopes of convincing both himself and others that he has it together. And, as far as tough exteriors go, he pulls it off pretty well – he talks trash, he carries a big sword, and he can kick ass.

But, as we all know, Mr. Strife has it anything but together. He’s lonely, he has little confidence in himself as an individual, and in fact, he’s not even sure who he is as an individual. As much as he’d love to let Tifa, his childhood friend, to glow closer to him, he simply can’t – not her, and certainly not anyone else. While the story behind Mr. Strife is dipped in a dense pool of melodrama, in the end he’s a pretty normal dude. Like so many of us, he’s just an insecure guy hoping to convince everyone around him that he’s not.

And he can kick ass. And he’s also beautiful, as Advent Children finally proved. Effeminate? Sure, but c’mon, it’s Japan. I would totally run my fingers through that spiky hair of his. In a strictly heterosexual way.

I mean, c’mon, hair is hair. It’s pleasant to the touch. Who cares if it’s on the head of a dude or a chick?


I can tell it’s all going to be downhill from here.

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5 Responses to “The Five Sexiest Dudes in Gaming – #5: Cloud Strife”

  1. Andogo says:

    You’re going to pull out a “no homo” in reference to Cloud Strife? If anything, it’s “oh shit, dude, I forgot you’re not a girl”.

    Anyhow, if your countdown is just a list of the girly-men in videogames, I already know who’s number one. Actually, it’d be a tie: Flea and Birdo. Both dudes, true story.

  2. Ethos says:

    Nah, although I wouldn’t say that Cloud is necessarily the girliest man on the list, there are definitely manlier men.

  3. SiliconNooB says:

    Cloud is cheating, he could have made the girls list without anyone noticing.

    Also, where are my UNDERBOOBS?!

  4. Ethos says:

    No, Lightning didn’t make the list.
    Boobs are coming in a bit. Although it might be overboobs.

  5. SiliconNooB says:


    Just type in UNDERBOOB + Arc Rise Fantasia and you will find salvation.

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