Hey! Look! Listen! #61 – Man, I’m Tired of Being Homeless

I really am. I mean, “homeless” isn’t entirely accurate – I’ve been living in a nice two-bedroom apartment with Dillon and his fiance for the last five weeks or so – but it’s only meant to be temporary, and the majority of my stuff is in a storage unit. It’s a place to live, but it isn’t my place, y’know?

And of course, when I finally got around to applying for residency to the apartment I picked out, I was denied because I didn’t pass the fucking credit check. Why? Not because I have bad credit; but because I have no credit. Why do I have no credit? Because I’ve avoided credit cards and car payments my entire life, and paid for everything with money out of my own pocket. So I’m essentially being penalized for being financially responsible, and that infuriates me to no end.

But, in a stroke of moderate luck I’ve found another place, in which my lack of credit shouldn’t be an issue. So, if all goes well, I’ll be in a place of my own in two to three weeks.

But enough about my boring personal life. Welcome once again to Hey! Look! Listen! I’m your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and it’s time to see what’s going on in my RSS feed.

Final Fantasy XIII Coming to Xbox 360 in Japan… What?

After letting it kick around as a rumor for less than a day, Square Enix came forward and confirmed that their shitty 13th entry in the Final Fantasy series will be coming to the Xbox 360 in Japan, as part of their budget-priced “Ultimate Hits” line. If you recall, while the game was released on both PS3 and 360 in the states, it remained a PS3 exclusive in Japan.

I assumed that this was largely because nobody in Japan owns an Xbox 360. And, as far as I know, that’s still the case. So, to be frank, this makes little sense to me. But then again, nothing about Final Fantasy XIII makes sense to me.  The game is, and remains, a giant digital clusterfuck.

The four existing Japanese 360 fanbots will be able to experience said clusterfuck on December 16. (VG247)

Check Out Dragon Age II’s Female Protagonist

Cute, right? Like Ethos, I always go Female when allowed to choose, because I’d rather look at something cute. And also, nobody else does it. And also, I fantasize about being a woman and it allows me to partially realize said fantasies.

That last part isn’t actually true, I just thought it would be funny to say. Or… is it?

Anyway. While I’m glad she’s hot and stuff, this immediately raised the question in my mind: will you be allowed to customize character appearance in Dragon Age II? If you recall, while Mass Effect always had the stock male model used in all the trailers and promotional stuff, they never bothered showing a female – makes sense, seeing that most people are going to create something totally unique anyway. So the fact that they’ve provided this specific female model makes me wonder. And google as I may, I can’t find any solid confirmation that appearance customization is a feature in Dragon Age II.

Maybe I’m missing something. Dunno. I have no idea *why* BioWare would remove the feature, seeing that it’s become sort of a staple for them. And my guess is that they haven’t. I’m just, y’know. Raising the question.

Check Out These Mass Effect 2 Stats

Now this is cool. And insane, in some cases:

28 times? 28 motherfucking times? Are you kidding me? I want to meet these people, and see how much of a life they don’t have.

Anyway, this image was part of an IGN interview with Mass Effect’s Executive Producer, Casey Hudson. In the interview, Hudson explained why they gather these stats, and how they’re used – or not used – to aid the development of future titles. Here’s an excerpt:

Ultimately it doesn’t always give you the answers, but it sometimes raises questions or gets you to ask the right questions…More people played the soldier class than all of the other classes combined. If you know that, then you can start thinking about future games. Is that good? Is that a problem? Should we look at the other classes and start thinking about ways to make them selected as often as soldier? As part of asking these questions, we can design games in the future a lot better.

The full article is rather interesting, and not absurdly long. I recommend you check it out here.

A PC With a Built-In Xbox 360 Now Exists

And it’s awesome. And… expensive. As fuck.

A company called Origin PC has built a high-powered gaming computer that not only has specs mad enough to play anything at max settings, but it has a freaking 360 Slim inside of it. The whole thing, with the same ports and connections. You can even play it while the PC is performing other tasks.

As for specs, the entry-level configuration includes:

-An overclocked 4.0GHz Intel Core i7 930 processor,

-A liquid cooled Rampage III Extreme motherboard

-Dual NVIDIA GTX 480 GPUs,

-6GBs of memory

-Dual 50GB SSD drives

-A 2TB hard drive

-A Creative Fatal1ty sound card

-A built-in Blu-ray burner

All that can be yours for a mere $7669. And if that’s not expensive enough for you, try the configuration used by CPU Magazine:

-Dual Intel Xeon X5680 processors overclocked to 4.3GHz

-An EVGA SR2 motherboard

-Liquid cooling


-12GBs of memory

-Four 50GB SSD drives

-Two 2TB hard drives

-A built-in Blu-ray burner

-A built-in 8 channel HD audio sound card

All that can be yours for a mere… $16.999. Interested? You can order “The Big O” (that’s seriously what it’s called) now at Origin’s website.

To say “do want” is a bit redundant at this point, but I guess I’ll say it anyway.

QUICKIE: There’s a Dissidia Sequel Coming

Well, this isn’t terribly surprising. According to the latest issue of Shonen Jump, a sequel named Dissidia Duodecim: Final Fantasy will be released next year. Confirmed to be in the new lineup are Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII and Kain from Final Fantasy IV.

“Dissidia Duodecim”? Really? That’s Nomura for you. Anyway, nothing else is known about the game at the moment, but I’m pretty sure we’ll hear more when TGS rolls around. (VG247)

And that, as they say, is that. It’s time to get some Taco Bell and then head to bed. Tomorrow’s my one day off, and hopefully I’ll be able to spend it playing Dissidia. If so, expect impressions.

‘Till then!


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9 Responses to “Hey! Look! Listen! #61 – Man, I’m Tired of Being Homeless”

  1. SiliconNooB says:

    “Cute, right? Like Ethos, I always go Female when allowed to choose, because I’d rather look at something cute. And also, nobody else does it. And also, I fantasize about being a woman and it allows me to partially realize said fantasies.”

    -At least you’re being honest.

    -It is my theory that the Japanese launch of XIII 360 “international” version, is really just surplus Western stock which would otherwise be sold dirt cheap else ploughed into landfill. SE printed waaaaaaaay too many copies of that game, and probably don’t want shareholders to realise how much waste they’ve produced.

    -Duodecim … … … … … … … … … … … … …

  2. DefChaos says:

    I checked out Dragon Age 2 at PAX. Everyone who did got 15 minutes of gameplay. Although I skipped over it in order to have more time with the combat (which is much improved, as are the graphics), character customization is still an option in Dragon Age 2. :)

  3. Andogo says:

    You’re not being punished because you’re fiscally responsible. You’re being punished because you don’t have a paper trail. Anyhow, you should have a credit file, you have a cellphone, right? If you’re paying for that bill, it goes in your credit file. See if your bank offers a cashback credit card. If you have a savings/chequing account with them, they should have no problem giving you a credit card. If you ever plan on owning a house and not purchasing it outright, you’re going to need good credit. Credit cards are not the root of all evil. Irresponsible spending is. Some people I know *cough* are forced to skip meals because of their spending.

    But I digress.

    What they don’t include in that 16k price tag is a lifetime supply of compressed air. Because even if they’re liquid cooling everything, those front case fans are still sucking in more air than an average vacuum cleaner. Nothing screams luxury like a LED-lit Lexan case filled with dust bunnies.

  4. SiliconNooB says:

    I would never want a credit card, it would be far too easy for me to spend beyond my means.

  5. DarthGibblet says:

    @SN: And that’s been one of the biggest factors in the current economic collapse (at least over here). Sadly, you almost have to have a credit card if you want to make any sort of large purchase. Personally, I have one but never charge anything to it. I put pretty much everything on debit and I find that helps me keep myself in check.

    - Personally, I’m waiting for a computer that has an Xbox, PS3, and Wii all rolled into one. Anything else just won’t cut it :D.

  6. Andogo says:

    Ask them to give you a credit limit of 500 bucks or lower. I mean, it’s just a number, it’s not a challenge for you to max it out RPG-style.

    I mean, if you want to be responsible, get a rewards/cashback card, and buy gift certificates/cards once a month at a store that you shop at regularly, and limit your spending to what you can afford on the gift card. That way, your monthly CC balance is predictable, and you’re still controlling your spending, and earning rewards points/cash all the while. The only real loser here is the merchant, but I mean, if you’re buying a gift cert, they’re losing less money to merchant fees than they would be otherwise. So really, it’s the CC company that takes the hit, but really, they’re making obscene amounts of cash anyway.

  7. Andogo says:

    @DG: Not true on needing a credit card… we regularly get people pulling out envelopes of cash to pay for things. The beauty of cash is that businesses can report cash expenditures as anything they want. The other thing I’ve seen is someone buying $5000 worth of gift cards on a corporate card, so they can write it off as a business expense, and then proceed to use them on a home theatre purchase.

    The benefit of making purchases on a credit card is that many of them have “purchase protection” or something like that, which protects you like an extended warranty. They’ll usually say “doubles your manufacturer’s warranty, up to 1 additional year”. There’s also sometimes a clause that says “protects against accidental damage or loss within the first 90 days”, which is exactly as it sounds. So if you get the aforementioned 16k computer, proceed to lose it or have it stolen within the first 90 days, you’re entitled to a replacement by the CC company. Of course, there’s all the other fine print, but they do actually honour these terms.

  8. Andogo says:

    Uh… I mean, uh, how ’bout that Playstation Move? I hear it has buttons.
    (Working in retail does horrible things to the way you view monetary instruments.)

  9. SiliconNooB says:

    It does indeed have buttons.

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