Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #014 – STOLEN!!

Oh lookit me! I’m Riddles! I’m gonna say that Ethos won’t write anything! Well fuck you! I’m going to steal that TGS Hey! Look! Listen! you promised. Bah-ha ha ha. Well, not every piece of big TGS news, just the stuff I care about.

Dear God, yes.

Team ICO Out the Ass: The Last Guardian Release Date

Finally we hear more about this ridiculously-anticipated title. People seem to be shocked that this was given a Holiday 2011 release window, but that comes as no surprise to me. In fact, that’s in the early range of what I was expecting, so count me as excited.

What’s that in the distance? Sounds like some sort of whistle. And now I see smoke? What could that possibly be…oh it’s the hype train! Full speed ahead!(IGN)

Team ICO Out the Ass: ICO and Shadow of the Collossus HD Collection!

BAH-HA HA HA HA HA AH! FINALLY! My life is complete! This long-rumoured collection is finally a reality. At first there was talk about it being two separate discs but has since been confirmed to be a single Blu-ray disc compete with trophies, the PAL ending for ICO, and even improved framerates, textures, and new widescreen framing. This collection is why humanity was created. (IGN)

Team ICO Out the Ass: Sexism Battle!

Remember when Miyamata joked about Peach not being playable in Super Mario Bros Wii because they would have to animate her dress? Remember when we all puked? Well as excited-out-my-ass as I am for The Last Guardian, studio head, Fumito Ueda was talking at TGS and even if his comments were meant as a joke, I still cringed.

He mentioned that the original protagonist for The Last Guardian was going to be female but because girls wouldn’t have the same physical strength as boys when traversing the environment, and “girls wear skirts”, they changed it to a boy.

Yeah, bullshit. I know that scientifically, the anatomy of men and women are different and strength arguments are occasionally valid. Like separating sports in the Olympics. But I don’t think it would have been unreasonable for a little girl to accomplish the same tasks as a little boy. That doesn’t sit well with me. And yeah, girls couldn’t wear Peter Pan-style capri shorts. That would seem weird. Fuck off. (IGN)

Muramasa and Odin Sphere Heavily Rumoured To Also Go HD

Sweet. This doesn’t appear to be a HD collection for PS3, but rather downloadable HD ports for all capable systems. Apparently Muramasa’s assets were developed in HD, so the process should be rather simple for that title at least.

I just hope the framerate is improved for Odin Sphere. I liked that game, but it was literally like a slide-show at points. That will need to be better for me to pick it up. (1up)

Unaltered picture of Bobby Kotick. Thanks Destructoid.


Ugh. Just when you thought Activision and Blizzard’s marriage wasn’t affecting the Blizzard side of things, Bobby Kotick goes off and starts spewing more of his famous shit about packing together all the cutscenes of
Starcraft 2 and selling it as a movie. Idiot. Seriously.

I mean, Starcraft 2 was just his example, but he talks about this idea like it’s the most brilliant shit in the history of time. Who the fuck would spend $20-$30 to watch all the cutscenes of a game? Certainly not the people who bought the game, and certainly not the people who didn’t buy the game.

There are reasons that these cutscenes are cutscenes. If you bought one of these “movies”, there would be major plot holes, it would all be high-intensity, and – oh yeah – THERE WOULD BE NO FUCKING GAME TO PLAY!

What a giant fucking idiot. (IGN)

That’s it.

Chalk up another win for Ethos.

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16 Responses to “Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #014 – STOLEN!!”

  1. SiliconNooB says:

    -Little boys are more anatomically suited to climbing, but the tasks performed in this game are so fantastic that belief must be suspended to an almost equal degree.

    -I’m not so sure about the whole skirt thing. Sure our first response it to say just give her a pair of pants, but it might not fit with the culture and style of his pre-existing world. Gamemakers are under no obligation to create equal opportunity gameworlds, because let’s face it human civilisation has never historically been capable of hosting equal opportunity societies, and so little girls wearing dresses has the ring of authenticity to it that a pair of capri shorts may not.

  2. DarthGibblet says:

    - For SotC, the main character could have only realistically been a guy. That amount of insane forearm strength could only come from spending your teen years masturbating every 15 minutes!

    - As much as I don’t want to defend Kotic, this movie of cutscenes was already done, and by Blizzard no less, years ago:


    My brother had the DVD (no idea why), and it was just cutscenes from the game. Granted, in the age of Youtube, this is pretty much a completely obsoleted business idea, but at least this quote is more “incompetent” than “evil.”

  3. Ethos says:

    @SN – Again, I know arguments can be made for anatomy, but I think it’s largely null and void when it comes to the individual. My sister climbed all sorts of insane shit that I never did when we were little, and I climbed a lot. And like you said, suspension of disbelief must be performed either way.

    -And he created his pre-existing world. Earlier in the interview he stated that they still don’t know if it’s going to tie into ICO and SotC because they make that stuff up as they go. I would agree that it would have a ring of authenticity if the game were about a time in Earth’s history when it made sense to do so. Although even during those times, tomboys existed.

    And I suppose gamemakers aren’t under any obligation to create an equal opportunity gameworld, but I feel to not do so requires a reason otherwise the reason is sexism. Hearing him list “girls wear skirts” (joke or not) as a reason to change the gender of a character comes across as full on bullshit as a human on Earth now listening to that human on Earth now speak it.

    I feel that if women were inferior in his world, it would require explanation rather than assumption. I’m looking at the game through the eyes of the present and because his world is very likely not about human civilization, I have no reason to assume one particular gender should wear skirts.

    In fact to look at the game’s environments, it wouldn’t make any logical sense to assume that anybody would wear a skirt. And if the rest of the world is more civilized, a girl in this sort of extreme situation and isolation would be able to fashion herself some more logical legwear. If fact, such an act would be able to enforce her character as strong, resourceful, and full of wit.

    Obviously I have no issue with a boy being the lead role, I just think the reasons for changing the character are, from any angle, bullshit.

  4. SiliconNooB says:

    It’s obviously a pre-modern world, and so a girl in a skirt has a greater resonance of believability for me than a girl in capri shorts, and so I don’t mind that creative decision. The guy was just being frank about the design process he went through in deciding upon a protagonist. Is this really the first game that you’ve played where the setting is pre-modern and all the females wear dresses? I’m willing to bet the answer to that is no, you’ve just never thought about it before. The only difference here is that the creator was silly enough to speak truthfully about it, though I don’t mind that, and I certainly don’t mind him having creative control over the culture of his world.

    -A retailer has listed a Prince of Persia HD collection.

  5. Ethos says:

    No, he can go ahead and speak truthfully, I think we just react differently to gender. Young girls in skirts always seems weird to me. Modern, pre-modern, fantasy. Always has. And of course he has creative control over his world. But if something didn’t set well with you, you’d want explanation as well, because otherwise it would seem weird to you.

    My point is that in this fantasy world, “pre-modern” doesn’t really exist. Comparatively to our world, it does, but why has this culture formed in exactly the same way ours did? Of course, it easily could have, but a simple statement like “girls wear skirts” seems to imply sexist assumption as opposed to arrived conclusion. I really don’t think I would have had a problem with the comment if he had said “in the world of The Last Guardian, girls wear skirts”. That’s a far different statement to me.

    -Sweeeeet. Everything’s coming up Ethan!

  6. SiliconNooB says:

    “My point is that in this fantasy world, “pre-modern” doesn’t really exist.”

    Well of course it does. It denotes a world where modernity and industrialisation have not occurred yet, hence it is pre-modern. There are many fantasy worlds which take their cues from the designs found in epochs of human civilisation, and to then take that set of aesthetics and overlay a pair of capri shorts just does not ring true to me. Besides, equal opportunity is a most unnatural state in historical terms, and so probably doesn’t ring true of human nature in general. Gender roles are not such an unusual thing, there’s obviously a vastly different paradigm in contemporary settings, but reflections of the past are going to reflect past gender roles to some extent.

    I think we can both agree though, that it was not particularly wise of him to be so frank. He obviously does not run the media gauntlet as often as his industry peers, and so has not perfected the SE brand canned response to probing questions.

  7. Ethos says:

    Yes, I think we’ve both said all we can!

  8. SiliconNooB says:

    With each day that passes TGS news grows ever more relevant eh, Oliver Motok?

  9. Ethos says:

    He’s a lazy butthole.

    Or rather, this is “Under Construction Week”, so I’ll cut him some slack.
    …no redesign yet (unfortunately, we’re way overdue), but expect some changes next week!

  10. The Nameless Gamer says:

    I don’t know that he was being entirely serious with that comment about skirts. Sometimes when you’re writing a story or brainstorming, you just sort of make decisions that you have no particular reason for, and people ask you why and you’d rather say something other than ‘Well, because why not, I guess.’

    I think it’s a little funny to make such a big deal of it.

  11. Ethos says:

    Like I said, it’s very possible he was joking. But that’s sort of my point, it showcases an innate sense of sexism. A flippant joke like “oh because girls wear skirts” implies that he thinks or assumes girls should wear skirts, as if it’s assumed common knowledge.

    I’m sure there was no reason at all for the change, nor does there have to be. His reason could be that he hates vaginas, or it could be “pickle” or “27″, that’s his prerogative. I’m not upset at the main character changing genders, but rather the underlying sexism.

    But, you’re right, it’s definitely a little silly to be making such a big deal of it.

  12. SiliconNooB says:

    All girls should wear skirts, it’s the only way to guard against immodesty! :D

  13. Ethos says:

    Plus, it acts as a natural apron for their kitchen habitat!

  14. SiliconNooB says:

    AND as a tent, should they become lost in the pantry!

  15. Ethos says:

    Who the fuck said they could leave the kitchen?!

  16. SiliconNooB says:

    How the hell else are they going to do the laundry?! Think before you speak. :D

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