Hey! Look! Listen! #64 – Dream of Californication

“I’m not going to bore you with three paragraph non-introductions like Riddles did with his Hey! Look! Listen!…”

Seriously, what a jackass. You guys enjoy my lengthy introductions, right? They’re a nice personal touch, right? I’m an interesting person, right?

Wrong? Well fuck you too, asswipe.

David Jaffe Responds to EA Louse

Remember last week when I wrote about the Tragic Rantings of EA Louse? Y’know, the guy from Mythic who worked on the Warhammer MMO and said that BioWare’s Star Wars: The Old Republic was going to fail epically?

Well, while the man may have had some valid complaints, he was also a butthurt sap who was about to get fired. What I mean by that is: his perspective is far from unbiased. So, it’s hardly surprising that David Jaffe has taken the opportunity to call him out on a few things. You can read Jaffe’s blog entry here.

Jaffe’s a pretty straight shooter, I have to concede. His point about the dancing is spot-on, and mirrors what I thought myself. And this is coming from Jaffe, a guy who’s worked on plenty of games, and most likely worked with plenty of less-than-stellar dev teams himself. He knows what he’s talking about.

I mean, he created God of War. And for that he will remain immortal.

Perhaps wrongfully so.

D’OH

Check Out This Video About Black Ops’ Multiplayer

Awwww yeah. I’m admittedly pretty stoked about Call of Duty: Black Ops. Call of Duty’s online multiplayer is the only competitive online game that I’ve ever become moderately addicted to. Y’see, I don’t tend to be the type of gamer who obsesses over any single game for an extended period of time. So, the fact that Modern Warfare 2 has taken up so many days (days) of my time is an impressive thing.

Is there *anyone* else out there who likes Call of Duty? Nobody? Too bad,watch this (highly informative) video anyway.

November 9 can’t come soon enough.

Capcom Defends Dante Redesign

Okay. Between myself and Ethos, I’m the bigger Devil May Cry fan. I’ve played through the entirety of the first two, and a good chunk of DMC3. I like the series quite a bit, so naturally I paid attention when Capcom unveiled their flashy new series relaunch. However, as you may have noticed, I said nothing – nothing until now.

I’ve been doing this thing long enough to have learned to avoid knee-jerk reactions. They often end up making a fool of you, and I’m not partial to being made a fool of. So, when a developer or publisher does something that  rubs me in every conceivable wrong direction, I force myself to take a moment, step back, wait for the initial shock to wear off, and then see what I think.

When Capcom unveiled the new design for Dante, I hated it. I hated it just as much as the throngs of angry gamers who set the internets ablaze with their vitriolic complaints.

But I remained silent.

Until now.

The new Dante sucks. He sucks, he’s terrible, I hate him. Why’d they do this to him? Why? How? Please, can’t anyone tell me why?

Maybe Christian Svensson, Capcom’s VP of Strategic Planning and Business Development can tell me.

The original concepts that came back for Dante were actually extremely close to the Dante everyone knows and loves,” Svensson explained. “The feedback that came back from [Keiji] Inafune and [Hideaki] Itsuno was, ‘No guys, this needs to be completely different, we need you to go much further and be much more creative.’”

And literally dozens of potential iterations later became what we as a team felt comfortable and actually happy with.

Okay… so they wanted him to look different. Fine. What Capcom needs to understand is that we’re not furious because they changed Dante. Necessarily. Rather, we’re furious because they changed Dante into such a douche. Seriously, could they have come up with a (pardon my language) faggier look for everyone’s favorite demon slayer? Dante is a wisecracking badass, not a fucking brooding grease-haired emo F*GGOT.

Again, pardon the language. I only deem it necessary in these dire times. Sucker Punch was wise, and responded to the outcry of their fans. Hopefully Capcom will do the same. Because I do not want to look at that for eight plus hours.

Man, I Love Back to the Future

I do. Even the second installment, which many people seem to disdain for whatever reason. In my opinion, the second movie is the second best. And the first is the first best. A cookie if you can figure out which I think is the third best.

Granted, it is somewhat amusing (and disappointing) to look at the second film’s depiction of the year 2015. And, while we may still have four years or so until we reach said year, this video from Landline TV more or less has it right. Poor Doc Brown. The guy deserved better.

Somebody *did* make a Hoverboard, though. We have that.

Ba-hahahaha: EA Wants to Kill Babies

Well, not really. However, the unfortunate placement of this pop-out ad for Medal of Honor makes it appear so:

Oh, I love it.

Irregardless of any and all rumors of baby-killing, Medal of Honor managed to sell 1.5 million copies in a week. What? In spite of its “shameful” 75% aggregate ranking?

What a spoiled, spoiled industry.

I’ve Seen This Trailer 82372 Times Before

I know a lot of people are excited about The Last Story. I should be too; it’s Hironobu Sakaguchi. The last game he made was Lost Odyssey, and I loved the shit out of it. Hell, I even enjoyed Blue Dragon for what it was. (Braces).

That said, this trailer looks like it was pieced together from every other JRPG trailer ever made. Ever. The fact that it’s all in Japanese doesn’t help its cause.

So, why would I end this HLL with a boring video that I didn’t even enjoy? Well, one half to appeal to the hopeless JRPG nerds in the crowd. (I can smell you.) And one half because I hate you. I hate you all.

Nah, not really. I had fun writing this. I hope you enjoyed reading it.

~Riddles

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One Response to “Hey! Look! Listen! #64 – Dream of Californication”

  1. SiliconNooB says:

    -I can’t play the new DMC, like you said I don’t care if they change or replace Dante, but any refashioned protagonist must meet the minimum requirements of not sucking copious amounts of arse. The worst part is that they’ve made Emo dante look like a carbon copy of Ninja Theories creative director, how arrogant is that? I think I could stomach the new Dante if he gained 10Kg, shaved his head, had a bath, and put on some clean clothes … if not, then I’ll be steering clear.

    -That picture is gold.

    -The Last Story trailer is also gold ( http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2009-03-01-duncecap.jpg )

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