Oh, that title is so very… gay. I think I’ll keep it.
Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, Fools in April is just a clever way of saying “April Fools,” and it can be applied to approximately 90% of the things we wrote this week. I know that most of you were fully aware, and simply along for the ride, but for the few of you who weren’t sure: APRIL FOOLS.
Really, though, I suppose you shouldn’t feel too stupid if you found yourself in doubt. I’m going to take this opportunity to pat Ethos and I on the back, because the buildup to the shitstorm that went down on April Fools Day was perfectly done. Seriously, I occasionally stand in awe of just how awesome we are. It started with my review of God of War III, and ended with Ethos committing suicide and coming back as a zombie. For your convenience, I’ve summarized the Unfortunate Series of Events below:
Ethos Writes an Editorial Entitled “Why Riddles Sucks.” Feeling the need to berate Riddles for dropping the ball during God of War III Week, Ethos writes a slanderous editorial.
Riddles Reviews God of War III. Feeling upstaged, one-upped, and generally shamed, Ethos responds with hurt confusion. (See the comments.)
Riddles Writes an Editorial Entitled “Why Ethos Sucks.” Feeling the need to call Ethos out for being a baby, and also to retaliate against Ethos’ slanderous editorial, Riddles provides a scathing insight to Ethos’ general incompetence.
Ethos Claims that Riddles has gone “A bit too far.” Tensions rise as Ethos retaliates, making the ridiculous claim that Riddles overrated BioShock 2.
Riddles Vows a Terrible Revenge - Riddles vows to take away “that which Ethos holds most dear.” Scary, scary…
Riddles Hijjacks Scatter Storming – A ballsy, but necessary move. It sent a clear message, and it was also the best Scatter Storming ever written.
Ethos Loses his Shit – Enraged, Ethan makes no less than three Riddles-themed de-motivational posters. Little does he know that Riddles’ revenge had yet to even begin. Props to him for this disgustingly offensive banner, though.
Riddles Takes Over the Site – The plan goes into full effect when Riddlethos.com becomes Riddles.com. New logo and everything. Ethos is locked out of the site, and Riddles refuses to let him back in, in spite of his painful groveling.
Ethos Commits Suicide – driven to the brink by the loss of his friend, feature, and finally website, Ethos commits a very nasty form of suicide.
Ethos Returns as a Zombie – Still not sure what to say about this one.
So, I guess the moral of the story is that even death can’t keep the two of us apart. Kill one of us, and… we’ll just return as a zombie.
Seriously, though, it’d take a lot more than that petty bullshit to tear the two of us apart. Riddlethos isn’t just about our two personalities, per se; but about how our two personalities co-exist and compliment eachother. In the sphere of video gaming, at least. Sure, there are striking differences between us, which is part of the fun - but this site couldn’t exist without the two of us.
And I know how fruity the above paragraph sounds, and I’m totally okay with it.
LONG LIVE RIDDLETHOS.
(p.s, I promise that next week will see the return of actual editorial content in the Sunday Soapbox.)