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by Ethos

Sunday Soapbox: Are We The Waiting – E3 Hopes and Dreams

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Hoo-ah. It’s Sunday. E3 2010 kicks off in less than 36 hours. For people like myself, this is something to get excited for. E3 2010 is the single greatest deluge of gaming information in a given year. Exciting announcements, tons of demonstrations, tons of new videos and media, and of course, impressions from the show floor. Like all E3’s before it, E3 2010 will set the general tone and direction of the game industry for the next  year. So, it’s a big deal, and it’s definitely something to be excited for as a gamer.

E3 is almost like Christmas for gamers. Every year, there are those couple of announcements or game reveals that we’re desperately hoping to see. Sometimes our wishes come true, and sometimes they don’t – but, hell, making up the wishlist is half the fun anyway. So. Without further ado, let’s discuss some things I’m expecting – or hoping – to come out of E3 2010

New Wii Zelda Title – Well, this one’s a given. We’ve been looking for concrete information on this game ever since we got over Twilight Princess – which, if you’re like me, wasn’t too long after release. Sure, we’ve had a few clever handheld titles to tide us over, but Toon Link’s dual-screened appeal is wearing thin, if you ask me. We need a new Zelda game. Die-hard Zelda fanboys like myself are losing faith, and that’s something that I, personally, never thought could happen. I’ve all but given up on Nintendo as a company; all I ask now is for them to give me Zelda – alive and unspoiled.

The Last Guardian

This is a similar case, actually. It’s been five years since Team ICO gave us Shadow of the Colossus. I understand, of course, that if they hope to live up to SotC’s brilliant standard, it’ll require some time. But, the cat’s been out of the bag for a while – they released a trailer last year, if your recall. And then, we didn’t hear a thing. Hopefully, with E3 2010, that will change.

Oh, and confirmation of the rumored Shadow of the Colossus/ICO HD remixes (ala God of War collection) would also be great. Eh? Eh, Sony? Come on, now.

Persona 5, Anyone…?

This one’s a bit of a long shot, but it’s not impossible. I wasn’t sure if Atlus would be at the show, initially, but a quick Google search confirmed that they are – and while a Persona 5 isn’t on their list of games to showcase, perhaps a surprise reveal could be in store? The Persona series has performed well enough in the states; I think E3 would be a fine place to announce it. For PS3. Please.

Ninja Theory’s Devil May Cry 5

This has been rumored in the past, and I’d love to see it confirmed at the show. Ninja Theory, the developer behind Heavenly Sword and the soon- to-be-released Enslaved: Odyssey to the West might be the developers behind the fifth installment of Capcom’s demon-slaying franchise. It’s definitely a franchise that could use a shot in the arm, especially if it’s to contend with the high bar set by Bayonetta. And who knows, Ninja Theory might be the ones to do it.

Kingdom Hearts 3

Last, but certainly not least. It’s been over four years since Kingdom Hearts II. I’m losing interest in the franchise fast. I don’t want to see it devolve into an endless stream of portable spin-offs. Nomura needs to get his shit together, and give us some info on the next real installment in the Kingdom Hearts story. Am I right, or am I right?

Well, that’s my wishlist. Or a part of it, at least. I could go on and on about E3 wishes, but I have to work tomorrow morning. And besides, the show will start soon enough anyway – so all wishful thinking will be rendered moot.

Say a Prayer for the Family; Drop a Coin for Humanity

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Last night was weird. I kept trying to do things, but instead I kept passing out. For hours at a time. Finally, when I woke up sprawled across my covers at 6 a.m, I gave up. In any case, I’m quite well-rested now, which is good, since I need to actually get things done today.

First order of business? Another funny Green Day video. It is also a funny Will Ferrell video. So, double the goodness.

Yeah. It’s definitely Green Day week.

Lazy Saturdays #07 – Restless Heart Syndrome

Saturday, June 12th, 2010

Hello, citizens of Riddlethos; and welcome to the seventh edition of Lazy Saturdays. As per usual, it is I, Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and I’m here to spice up your dull, dull lives with some links followed by short paragraphs of casual banter. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Well of course it does, the question was rhetorical. Dummy.

Huh lordy. Once again, it’s about as lazy as you an get here in my dilapidated apartment here in Murfreesboro. The blinds are drawn, my desk is an unbelievable mess (seriously, if Ethos didn’t still have my camera in Toronto, I’d take a picture to show you. It’s that epic) and to compliment the scene, I have not Green Day playing, but Of Montreal. Yeah, it’s that  kind of day.

Microsoft wants to shoot lasers into your eyes for the sake of 3Dokay, now that’s just kinda weird. I understand that in order for 3D to work, it has to lose the glasses. But when it comes to images being beamed directly into my eyeballs, I can’t help but feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. The technology is still in prototype stage, though – currently only two people can watch 3D at one time. So, I don’t suppose we’ll be seeing televisions with this technology on wal-mart shelves anytime soon.

Now you can “Like” things wherever you goI think we can all agree that the day Facebook implemented the “like” button was a life-changing day for all of us. No longer were we required to type a semi-coherent comment in order to react to the thoughtful statuses or wall posts of our dear Facebook friends; with the “Like” button, human conversation and communication has been distilled to the absolute, bare essentials of a gut reaction.

Don’t you love the internet?

Immediately, the denizens of Facebook cried out for a “dislike” button. Balance, after all, is everything. Facebook has yet to comply, meaning that for now at least, we are required to actually type “dislike” in the comment box. But, as unfair as that may be, perhaps the new “Like” rubber stamp will make up for it – at least, in part.

All the ease and convenience of Facebook’s “Like” button, in the palm of your hand. Use it anywhere, anytime. Now, if only there was a “dislike” stamp…

Hellz yeah: check out the first Dead Space 2 gameplay trailer – Gawd I can’t wait for this game. E3 2010 is all but here, so the first wave of videos and trailers are beginning to appear on the internets. My favorite one so far? This bloody montage of everyone’s favorite Isaac Clarke dismembering necromorphs. Here’s hoping we see way more of this when the show starts.

Eh? They’re still making Final Fantasy XI expansions? – Apparently the answer to that is “yes.” I had no idea. Stumbled across the name in my RSS feed. It’s called “Vision of Abyssea” or something weird like that. Here’s a piece of artwork from it.

I didn’t feel like removing the IGN watermark. Besides, there’s no bad blood between Riddlethos and IGN as far as I know. What’s a watermark among friends, right?

Anyway. That’s enough from me for now. Solitude + Of Montreal is putting me into an odd, trance-like state. And, it’s time for me to crack open Adobe Premiere and see what makes it tick.

So long for now, darlings!

Stuck With Me

Saturday, June 12th, 2010

So Ethan’s brother is back from Malta after a year, but only for a brief time. What a fucking likely story. Now I actually have to get my shit together and pretend that I run a website, which is what I pay Ethan to do.

Sigh. Oh well. Maybe this’ll do me some good. It’s been a while since I’ve spent any quality alone time with you guys, as it were. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever done that.

Well! That’s all about to change. For the remainder of this weekend, it’s just me and whoever happens to stumble this way. So. Let’s hang out! Let’s talk! Let’s chitchat! Ask me anything; anything at all. I have plenty to share, if you know what I mean.

Ahem. Anyway. Below, you’ll find my theme song. (Also one of the funnier Green Day videos in existence.) Later, I’ll be writing a Lazy Saturdays. God, why is it already 3:30 in the afternoon?


Friday, June 11th, 2010

My brother, whom I love dearly, is back after over a year and I have a very short time to see him. Therefore – although I’ve been playing Green Day Rock Band and bought the American Idiot musical soundtrack – I’ll be a little MIA. We’ll see how much Riddles can pick up the slack. Some predict he’ll do well under pressure. Others say he’ll run and hide. Others yet say he’ll be dreaming of Johnny Hockin….

King for a Day

Thursday, June 10th, 2010


Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Man, I’m loving these Green Day titles as post headers. Maybe I’ll continue the trend! Anyhoo, Scatter Storming on Wednesdays is a bad idea when I work late Tuesday/Wednesday and then have to wake up a little earlier for work on Thursday. Not a good combo. So until The Hills is over (see: July), Scatter Storming will often be hitchin’ a ride until Thursday. I’d rather do a good job than a rushed tired job. The latter is like pulling teeth. I know Scatter Storming is the best thing in town, but I don’t want to burnout. Anyway, before I start acting like a reject and begin to suffocate you all by sounding redundant, I’d better become the disappearing boy.

Anybody who can tell me how many Green Day songs are in this post (not including the title) is not a chump!

Still love 'em!

Hey! Look! Longview! #56

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

Well, subtle is definitely not my middle name. But, truth be told, we’ve never been much for subtlety here at Riddlethos.com. We generally prefer blunt and obvious stupidity. Just part of our unique charm, I suppose.

Or… whatever you’d call it. Maybe “charm” isn’t the right word.

But already, I digress. Welcome to the fifty-sixth edition of Hey! Look! Listen! As per usual, I am your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and I wish I had the money to buy Green Day Rock Band. I also wish I had the money to go to the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival this weekend. But alas, I have neither of  those things, which constitutes an epic musical fail. Oh well. Maybe I’ll start a cover band.

But, for now, I suppose I’ll settle for sharing some goings-on in the world of videogames. It’s a distinctly pre-E3 climate right now (obviously) which always produces a sort of energized lull that’s difficult to define. So instead of trying to define it, I think I’ll just write some stories.

Know Your Enemy: Proof that Final Fantasy XIII is Composed of Pure Evil

Apparently it wasn’t enough for Final Fantasy XIII to merely suck; now it destroys PS3s.

Or, at least, that’s what a group of people in San Fransisco are claiming. When they attempted to save their game for the first time, their consoles supposedly froze and died forever. They went to Sony first, who told them it was Square Enix’s fault. They went to Square Enix, who told them it was Sony’s fault. Point being, neither company was kind enough to fix the bricked consoles, so now they’re being sued in a class-action lawsuit. For $5 million.

Well. Thank god Final Fantasy XIII didn’t do that to me, at least. Talk about insult to injury. If you’re interested, the full PDF of the suit is available here. (IGN)

Welcome to Paradise: Red Dead Revolver Ships 5 Million, GTA IV Sells 17

Take-Two discussed their second quarter financials today, and happened to let slip the fact that Rockstar’s latest blockbuster, Red Dead Revolver, had already shipped 5 million copies. Now, granted, that’s shipped, not sold – but still, it’s big. It’s a big number.

Y’know what’s even bigger? 17 million. And, according to Take-Two, that’s how many copies that Grand Theft Auto IV has sold since its release back in April 2008. That is a lot. A lot lot. Holy freaking hell.

And… that’s about it. I just felt like throwing some numbers around. Moving on!  (IGN)

Jackass: Tomonobu Itagaki to Announce New Game at E3

You probably know who Tomonobu Itagaki is. If not, he’s the Ninja Gaiden guy. Not the old side-scrollers, but the bloody 3D re-imaginings. And I know you’ve heard of Ninja Gaiden before, because the first game was released no less than three times. Hell, even Ninja Gaiden 2 was released twice.

Oh, yeah, and he’s also responsible for the Dead or Alive games. The fighers and the slutty volleyball spinoffs.

Anyway. The thing about Mr. Itagaki is that he’s sort of a douche. He’s very much full of himself, which is made painfully obvious in pretty much every interview that he’s ever done. And, while being full of yourself is bad enough, what makes it even more obnoxious in my eyes is the fact that the guy really hasn’t done anything that amazing. Ninja Gaiden is, more or less, a hack-’n-slash actioner that uses gratuitous sex and violence as its primary selling point. Revolutionary, eh? Now, to be fair, it’s a very solidly built hack-’n-slash actioner, but it’s still nothing to write home about, and never has been. Admittedly, I haven’t played Dead or Alive – but from the looks of it, and given the general opinions on it, I’d wager you could say the same thing.

Itagaki happily made games for Tecmo for a long time. But, a few years back  - late 2008, if I recall – Tecmo and Mr. Itagaki ran afoul of eachother. My memory’s a bit hazy, and I’m too lazy to look up the specifics; but if I recall, Mr. Itagaki and quite a few other employees filed suit against Tecmo demanding unpaid wages and bonuses. They won. Itagaki left Tecmo, and he’s been relatively quiet since then – although, he’s always assured us that he was at work on a new game.

And now that I’ve written a 300-word mini-bio on this jackass, I might as well tell you the actual news part: he’ll be showing off his new game at E3 2010. Yep. He announced it in a blog post over at the website for his studio, Valhalla Games. Read it here, and be amazed at how douchy he makes himself sound in just a few short, matter-of-factual paragraphs. (Gaming Today)

Nice Guys Finish Last: Yakuza 4 Coming to North America

Well. Much less torturous waiting this time around. Apparently Yakuza 3 sold pretty well in the west when Sega finally brought it over. Well enough, at least, for them to give Yakuza 4 the same treatment.

Yakuza 4 was released in Japan back on March 18, 2010; it’ll be on American shores in the springtime of 2011. Good news, eh? Eh?

Frankly, I don’t really care that much. The only experience I have with the Yakuza series is when I played the demo for Yakuza 3 at Ethos’ place. But, be that as it may, he and I share one fantastic memory of the franchise, and it can be described in a single word: Karaoke. (Kotaku)

Waiting: New Enslaved: Odyssey to the West Trailer is Incredibly Awesome

I really, really want this game. I never even played Heavenly Sword, and I fucking can’t wait for Enslaved. This new E3 trailer seals the deal. Watch it, and be impressed.

Now, c’mon. Tell me you weren’t impressed. At least a little.

Well golly, it looks like I’m drawing close to that non-existent 1000-word limit!

Seriously, there’s no limit, I just have to stop at some point. So. Might as well be now?

And just so everyone knows, I’ve totally had my Green Day music library on shuffle the entire time while writing this. So, ideally, you’ll be listening to Green Day whilst reading. But I’m going to guess that none of you are, and frankly, that’s a shame. Because they’re awesome.

Welcome to Paradise

Monday, June 7th, 2010

Oh yes, that’s right. In celebration of Green Day Rock Band’s release, Riddlethos finally has an excuse to dedicate a theme week to the incredible band. People love to hate them, and people love to say they used to be great back in the Dookie days, but those people also haven’t heard anything beyond a single or two played in the background.

The point is, you can all suck it! Riddles and I will be posting lyrics as headlines or post titles and loving every second of it! Otherwise we got nothing. It’s the calm before the e3 storm.

I love these boys