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by Ethos

Sunday Soapbox: A Life Without Riddles

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Well folks, it’s past. The slowest week in Riddlethos history since “Fuck you, it’s Christmas Break Week”, which doesn’t really count. Riddles’ sabbatical officially comes to an end starting tomorrow, and while he might not be back in full force the first week, it has caused me to look back on this month and come to a very difficult realization.

This website needs Oliver Motok.

For all the joking around that I’m the one who delivers for Riddlethos.com, Riddles is the inspiration for the quality and quantity of the content I produce. If he were around, he would be making jabs at the slow pace I was releasing Quickie Impressions and so I would likely get around to them in better time. If he were around, he’d produce a thorough and entertaining edition of Hey! Look! Listen! and that would make me to not want to fall behind causing a better chance of Scatter Storming and Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah!

Not to say I’ve been useless without him. I started a successful and hilarious new segment in “Spam Comment Roundup” (another one coming soon), produced the first podcast for this website in 5 months, and provided pretty consistent E3 coverage for just one guy, but I’d be lying if I said his absence hadn’t taken a toll on my productivity.

Riddles’ sabbatical was well deserved and I’m glad he took as much time as he needed, but Riddlethos welcomes him back. So please be kind to him as he returns.

…at least for one day.

As for me? I’ve got Dragon Quest IX in my hands so that I can already one-up Riddles next week.

Hey! Look! Listen! Audio Edition #002

Friday, July 9th, 2010

The podcast you wished had disappeared forever is back! With no Riddles nor Pogo, Constipated Cow steps up, and the results are disastrous! If you’re in a particularly masochistic mood, listen to these two idiots struggle for things to say and finally settle on creating demeaning situations for Cow’s girlfriend. To make things worse, Ethos wrote a terrible theme song that doesn’t suit the podcast one bit!

Please to enjoy.

Download directly here.

Subscribe to the RSS feed here.

Subscribe to it on iTunes here.

Quickie Impression: Donkey Kong Country Returns

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Time to get back to these. Only three more to go. Or, er, two and a half, really. But let’s get back on track with Donkey Kong!

Donkey Kong Country Returns

Ah, it was great to be playing Donkey Kong Country again. As you’ll hear on the upcoming Hey! Look! Listen! Audio Edition, Matti blasts it for being absolutely nothing new.

This, in and of itself, is true. The gameplay feels exactly the same, the graphical style is identical, the music is practically unchanged, and even the enemies and supporting cast are nothing new.

But when the 5th first person Halo game is coming out in 9 years, I’m okay with another Donkey Kong Country being released for the first time in just under double that period. Plus, the gameplay is tight and challenging, the graphics are very pleasing, and the music is fantastic, there is nothing to complain about.

However, there’s nothing else new to write about this game. I played a mine cart level, and it was pure fun, just like the SNES game. The only thing I can tell you that is noticeably different is the new waggle to blow feature, which is exactly like it sounds. You waggle the Wiimote and Donkey Kong blows. Luckily, the function of this is to reveal secrets, and so the gimmicky controls are not mapped to any of the moves needed in platforming or combat.

The only other thing I noticed of note was that on top of the K O N G collectible letters, there seemed to be other – far more difficult to discover – collectibles. This is something I don’t mind at all in 2D platformers. With 3D ones, it seems tacked on, but in 2D games it feels more optional and requires you to really know levels intimately to find everything.

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments below if you feel I missed key pieces of information that you’re curious about regarding Donkey Kong.

New Theme Week!

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

Beautiful chaos. Just like Riddlethos.

Yup! Scatter Storming Week!
Not because there will be a bunch of Scatter Stormings, but because it will be a bit of a scattered week. I’ll be finishing up the quickie impressions of the demos I played last week, posting the Hey! Look! Listen! Audio Edition I recorded with Constipated Cow over the weekend (yup, we actually did it! And it’s worse than the first!), plus there’s whatever that weird shit that Riddles gave me below. It’s just going to be a scattered week.

There’s actually been a whole bunch of news that I want to talk about, so hopefully we’ll see an oversized Tingle! news feature too. I can’t have Riddles make fun of my lack of news content TOO much when he returns.

Speaking of that, there’s no date set yet, but you guys will know as soon as there is one.

Until then, enjoy my lovely mug in that simplistic banner up above! Anything’s better than that Puzzle Quest 2 shit.