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            Can you handle it?
by Ethos

What?!

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

There’s been nothing else posted?
Ugh, I should talk impressions of Dragon Age and that Link’s Choo Choo game trailer and details.
I also have some comments to reply to.
I, however, am either hungover or still drunk. I can’t tell. Time to play Dragon Age to ease the pain.
I love each and every one of you.

Well Damn it All. Stick to the Proverb!!

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Played 5 hours of Dragon Age last night. It truly is the definition of Swords and Sorcery Week. I assumed I’d like it, but like Mass Effect, this might take over my life. Which is a little sad, because I was truly getting into Wind Waker. Also sad that it’s a Gamecube game that came out almost 7 years ago that’s got me to play my Wii the most since Excite bots.

Anyway, you can’t goddamned mother fucking transfer Dragon Age save files, and I played that five hours at my friend’s house. MY ELF WAS SO HOT! (as also stated in Riddles’ latest Hey! Look! Listen!). Argh. Oh well, maybe I’ll start with an entirely different character.
In times of trouble, it’s always helpful to refer to scripture:
“When life takes away your lemons, play Ocarina of Time.”
(refer to legend below to fully understand)
Legend1

Hey! Look! Listen!

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

HLLfinal

There’s no way in hell I was going to let Ethos one-up me on this one

I couldn’t take it anymore, Ladies and Gentlemen, so I took the path of least resistance/most money, and picked up a copy of Dragon Age: Origins. It’s installing as we speak, so I can offer no impressions beyond this series of text messages between me and Ethos:

Riddles: So HOW IS IT?
Ethos: Still creating character. Install took forever. Sweet character creation, though!
Riddles: Well shyit. About to go grab it before GameStop closes. I’ll let it install while writing HLL.
Ethos: Werd! Good week this week!
Riddles: I agree, sir. Let’s not let it die over the weekend ;) DA installing now.
Ethos: God my character is hot.
Riddles: Betcha mine’ll be hotter.
Ethos: Yours will just look like Cokey
Riddles: Exactly. What’s hotter than a cracked-out amazonian swordfighter?
Ethos: A cute red-haired elf with a bad-ass face tattoo!

Ahem. More thorough impressions to come later, presumably. In any case, I can tell you now that a PS3 install takes MAYBE 10 minutes, so I’m not sure what he was bitching about.

On to the news!

Check Out This Awesome Modern Warfare 2 Launch Trailer

Yes, it has an Eminem song in it. But for some odd reason, I find it fitting, and the trailer is AWESOME regardless of the music. Anticipation = off the fucking charts.

Test Audiences Rate Prince of Persia Movie HighlyPrince of Persia Movie

In an interview with Latino Review, Prince of Persia producer Jerry Bruckheimer had this to say:

What we found when we tested the movie a few weeks ago, and it tested extraordinarily high which surprised me because I always think these things are going to fail but this one turned out great; the women were a surprise because I thought we made a terrific movie for the boys because the girl is beautiful but the women flipped over this film. I’ve never had a score where the parents, there is violence, too, because it’s PG-13, but the parents rated the film a hundred percent with an excellent or very good which has never happened before. So it’s one of these movies that we know they’ll take their children to go see it which is a huge advantage for a film, that parents can say, ‘Hey, it’s cool. My kid can see it.’

I’m borderline loathe to say this, but… I’m getting pretty damn excited for this movie. There, I said it. Yes, I know I’ve always bashed game-to-film adaptations on principle. But hey, I never said somebody shouldn’t try to change my mind. And it looks to me like Bruckheimer & Co are set out to do just that. By the by, I highly suggest you hit the above link and give the full interview a read. It’s quite good, and features Prince of Persia creator Jordan Mechner as well as Mr. Bruckheimer.

nintendo-logoNintendo Discusses its High-Definition Future… Kinda

Or DO they? It’s never easy to tell with them. Anyway, a bunch of big-name Nintendo execs have spoken publicly about their supposed eventual step into HD. By a bunch I mean six, and among these six were Shigeru Miyamoto and some dude name Genyo Takeda. He’s, uh… the general manager of Nintendo’s Integrated Research and Development Division. Or something. Anyway. Here’s a few select pieces of the text wall:

Takeda – “Since an increasing number of the TV sets at home around the world are becoming HD today, it will be natural for a machine to be able to generate graphics that people will be accustomed to see on HD televisions. Since the ordinary TV programs are now shifting to HD, moving to HD appears to me a natural flow.”

Miyamoto – “Regarding the question of SD or HD, it must depend on each software. For example, we have to ask ourselves if HD is really necessary to develop Wii Fit. Won’t HD be better for the games like Pikmin? The developers should choose the most appropriate graphical format depending on the software they make. To Nintendo, our theme is how we can prepare the SDK library to cater to the needs of the developers, with which the developers can more easily develop their games. In fact, Nintendo has been working with such mission.”

Those two quotes are among the few that make, y’know… sense. Click here to subject yourself to the full thing.

Check Out This Sweet-Ass Mass Effect 2 Collector’s Edition Box
I usually don’t give collector’s editions a second thought, but Mass Effect 2 already has my attention. For a mere $10 more, you’ll receive a fancy tin case, a 48-page hardcover art book, issue 1 of the Mass Effect: Redemption comic series, and a bonus DVD with behind-the-scenes features.

Do want.

Do want.

Asassin’s Creed II Will Kick the Original’s AssAC2logo

Hoo boy. Strangely, I haven’t been freaking out in anticipation for Assassin’s Creed II. It remains my most anticipated title of the year, but I’ve kept my fanboyism under control for the most part. However, when I read articles like this one from IGN, I start to feel the tingle. The article is entitled “Five Ways Assassin’s Creed Has Improved,” and it’s a good read for anyone with even a passing interest in the game.

Aaaand that’s a wrap, folks. I’m off to play me some Dragon Age. Expect to hear from me again shortly.

Nate Liles? NATE LILES?!

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

Oh my God, it’s NATE LILES!

nateliles

Suck it, Riddles

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

DragonAge
I love beating Riddles to the punch.

Scatter Storming. Issue #008 “Toon Issue”

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

ss008 Goddammit! Why do I forget that when I find a game that I really enjoy, I forget about my health and job and play it until 5:30 in the morning? In case you’re just tuning in, I’ve been replaying Wind Waker and I’m having a blast. I still have some familiar gripes, but overall I’m addicted and liking it more than I ever have. So therefore this edition of Scatter Storming will be especially scattered. In fact, consider that this very paragraph took three different sessions sprinkled over 9 hours to write. Yes folks, it’s that sort of a day. Let’s get started.

BLING! I like having more Rupees -
One of the best parts of Wind Waker is the fact that larger wallets happen faster and easier than in previous 3D Zelda games. It’s addicting to hack and slash away at grass, so if I can get my Rupee count to 1000 only a few hours into the game instead of getting annoyed that the red rupee I painstakingly found in a treasure chest won’t do me any good is nice. Did that sentence make sense? I don’t care much at this point. Again: it’s that sort of night.

STUPID! That Gametrailers Review that Riddles posted -
I agree that Dragon Age looks super badass and I want it as badly as Riddles wants to make good life choices, but that Gametrailers review was dumb. Seriously, I don’t mind if a review is 10 minutes if half of it isn’t a FUCKING PLOT SUMMARY spoken by a dude who is trying his hardest to be Guy Smiley. I prefer the real Guy Smiley.
I mean Jeff Haynes at my beloved IGN might have an annoying voice, but he only kept in relevant information, and he didn’t think he was at an audition for Deal or No Deal.

mofolinkPLEASE! Wind Waker in HD -
That’s all I could think last night as Wind Waker sucked up 4 hours of my precious sleeping time. It was a very particular line of thinking:
-”WOW Wind Waker still looks good”
-”It helps that it’s in 480p and I’ve never seen it like that before”
-”Also, although my screen is high-def, it’s also smaller, so the blemishes are a little more hidden”
-”Man, but imagine it WAS in high-def? Holy shit”
-”What the fuck? Stupid fake 16:9 cutscenes. Give me my real HD widescreen, Nintendo! Stupid asshole bitches!”
Man, I’m a sailor when I’m tired and sick.
SUCK IT, readers. Let’s move on.

DONE! <- Those stupid slugs -
They’re getting old. I know the concept of this whole thing is crappy old comic books, but the “cover” does the trick there. So fuck that shit!

Riddles’ Mom probably hates me now -
I swear a lot on Riddlethos. And in life in general. I met (most) of his family when I went down to Tennessee for the launch of this masterpiece of a site, and we got along famously. I thought they were all lovely! However, now that she’s seen my callous, bitter, incredibly crude side, I might no longer be in her good books. I hope I am, but you know what Resistance 2 says: “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”.

Riddles probably hates me now -
For talking about his mom.

HYPOCRISY! Okay, I can do a slug once in a while if I want to -
See, that hypocrite thing works on two levels! One for the slug, and one for the following: I caved on my FFXIII media boycott. I’m still not really re-watching things, or intensely analyzing screenshots, but I’ve seen recent stuff that I said I wouldn’t. Still, I lasted a while, and I think it’s made me shake my hype fatigue. So I’ll leave this incredibly terrible Scatter Storming issue with an incredibly suggestive picture featuring everybody’s favourite Final Fantasy XIII character:
COKEY!!!!

Only wasps can come quietly.

Only wasps can come quietly.

(props to RPGamer for the screen)
ETHOS OUT, MOTHER FUCKERS!

Hey! Look! Listen!

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

hllvideo

Well, it seems we have yet another slow day on our hands, ladies and gents.

Regardless, welcome to the Tuesday edition of Hey! Look! Listen! I’m your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and I really, really, REALLY want Dragon Age. I was initially okay with the fact that I didn’t have the financial means to purchase it, but after reading/watching a few reviews, I’m practically lusting for it.

With that, let us segway into our first item of the day.

dragon_age_cover-shotBioWare’s Dragon Age Takes World by Storm, Riddles and Ethos Can’t Buy it.

The title says it all. At long last, Dragon Age: Origins has been released for PC, Xbox 360, and PS3. It’s a game I’ve always kept my eye on, but I’ve never really wanted it quite as badly as I do today.

Why? Well, first and foremost, take a look at its aggregate rating on GameRankings. While the console versions score slightly lower, it’s clear that the critics love this one. Allow me to reference you to Kotaku’s written review. Why Kotaku? Because they actually use the phrase “swords and sorcery” in it, which made me glee.

Still not sold? Check out the very lengthy, very awesome video review from GameTrailers.com below.

I want it… I want it so badly. Curse fate.

Check Out the Prince of Persia Movie Trailer in Higher Quality

You already saw the crappy version, now check it out in glorious hi-definition, courtesy of IGN. I must say, I’m impressed with what I’m seeing here. When I saw the Dark Prince from Two Thrones, I was pretty much sold. Jerry Bruckheimer, work your magic… you just might get me in the door on opening night.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time at IGN.com

What the Hell is American McGee’s Alice?

What the hell, let’s just turn this into Hey! Look! Listen: Video Edition. I’ve never heard of American McGee’s Alice before in my life, but people were making a big deal over this newly-released trailer for the sequel, aptly titled The Return of American McGee’s Alice. So I took a look. And, uh… it disturbed me.

Done watching? Apparently, the original American McGee’s Alice was a PC game developed by Rogue and published by EA games waayy back in the year 2000. After reading IGN’s review, I’m more than a little intrigued. I’ll be sure to keep my eye on this one, but we’ve got a long wait… the trailer says 2011, after all.

And there’s your Hey! Look! Listen: ADD Edition. Er, Video Edition, I apologize. I think it’s a good alternative when actual news stories are in short supply. Have a good evening, folks; I’m certainly going to try to.

Addendum

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

wakerlinkWell last night surprised me a bit. I booted up my Wii for the first time since I started the Metroid Prime Trilogy and picked up a recent-ish Ocarina of Time save. That didn’t surprise me. I planned to do that. It was the moments after. Now don’t get me wrong, Ocarina didn’t seem like any less of a powerful experience. Nostalgia still filled my veins as I stepped out of the Temple of Time to foreboding silence. And although the Fire Temple was next and it’s probably one of my least favourite dungeons (although I still like it), I still had a strong desire and genuine excitement to play it. However, a very strange feeling crept over me. I wanted to play Wind Waker.

Now – I like Wind Waker. I beat it and had a good time with it. I really only speak ill of it in relation to other Zelda games, and I think the art style is fantastic, but when all is said and done, I don’t often reflect on it fondly. So it’s a little bizarre that I had an overwhelming desire to play it. But – I thought – why not capitalize on this desire? We’ll likely have an Ocarina of Time Week some time or another, so I should save the N64 classic for then. So I popped Wind Waker into my Wii, said “yes” to progressive scan mode, and played all the way up to Windfall Island. It was easily the best time I’ve had with the game. Perhaps it was because I knew what to expect, or perhaps it was because I didn’t anticipate being particularly overwhelmed, but I had a blast romping around the world and progressing through the cute story. I still don’t think it has the thematic weight of Ocarina nor the twisted deep mood of Majora’s Mask, and I still think that Forbidden Fortress bit at the beginning kinda stinks, but the game really is a lot of fun. Also, it still looks great after all this time, even in 4:3. I’m actually excited to go home and play more tonight. But more Impressions 2.0 later. For now, I need to re-instate my epic proverb. No words will change, but there will be a small correction to the legend.

“When life takes away your lemons, play Ocarina of Time.”
(refer to legend below to fully understand)
Legend

Lusipurr, Ladies and Gentlemen…

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

lusiconvo1

Behold, the Most Epic Ebay Listing of All Time

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Anyone want to buy a Apple MacBook pro?

No? Well, read this eBay Listing, and see if Lusipurr can’t change your mind.

You must realize, this might eventually become a valuable and expensive piece of history. Click the link. Cast a bid. I didn’t.

laptop