Yes, I know I’ve sucked ass this week as a Games Journalist. And as a human being in general, really. What better way to improve my self-esteem than to post embarrassing IM conversations with Lusipurr?
Welcome to Riddlethos, ladies and Gentleman.
Insult to Injury…
Monday, December 7th, 2009Wind Waker: The Aftermath
Sunday, December 6th, 2009
I still remember the day I bought Wind Waker. I was 16 and high on the IGN review I just read. I was over my initial reaction to the art style and was filled with nothing but pure fanboy hype. My friend Colin and I walked (very quickly) home from EB Games, booted up the game, turned off the lights, and turned up the sound. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I very slowly became disillusioned. Although I beat the game and enjoyed a fair bit of it, by the end I was attacking it pretty harshly. I called the world disconnected, disjointed, and devoid of personality. I said the music sucked, and that there was little to no mood. I – like the entire planet – criticized the sailing and the mad dash for Triforce pieces at the end of the game.
So now, almost 7 years later, I’ve played through almost the whole game for only the 3rd time. A small number considering how often I’ve played a significant portion of the N64 iterations. I’m definitely glad I gave the game another shot. I have more fond feelings about the cel-shaded wonder now and a lot of my previous complaints no longer hold any water in my books. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve done a complete 180 on the title. There are still major factors that I feel hold Wind Waker back from being a truly spectacular title.
First, let me go through what I no longer agree with my former self about. Wind Waker is absolutely not devoid of personality. A few other faults that I’ll mention later probably made me feel that way, but the art style, music, and characters all play off each other well to create a very distinct personality. The canon game dude, the shopkeeper, the butler, they’re all extremely memorable characters. Some of the best from the entire franchise. It’s apparent in retrospect that I was looking for more of the moody strangeness that Majora’s Mask provided and thus ignored the unique characters that Wind Waker offered. I no longer hate the sailing. In fact, I think it’s relaxing and often epic. I think it should be easier to change the wind direction, but it’s really not too big a deal, and the scale of the ocean truly gives a sense of adventure. The accompanying music adds to that, another aspect I’ve changed my mind about to some extent. I used to think it was all crap because, again, my expectations were elsewhere. But there truly are some standout tracks in the game including one that has made it into my regular piano play sessions. Finally I’ve eased up about the dungeons. I had a much better time trekking through the puzzles and challenges this time around, although I admittedly stopped playing before my least favourite. This playthrough confirmed that Majora’s Mask does, in fact, have the worst dungeons out of the 3D Zeldas.
But it wasn’t all eye-opening opinion-changing stuff. While I had a great time with Wind Waker, I was reminded of the things that still hold me back from relentlessly praising the title. While the main islands are mostly well designed and generally interesting to explore, the other one billions squares of the ocean are largely a massive disappointment. There are an incredible number of cop-out islands with little pay-off. So often I would discover a hidden area only to be rewarded with rupees. Sure, I need them for that stupid Triforce quest, but that section is poorly designed as well, so that doesn’t make it any better. Exploration isn’t nearly as rewarding in Wind Waker for that reason. In Ocarina of time, the world is much smaller, but it’s jam-packed with things to find and almost every discovery has relevance and meaning. Majora’s Mask’s world wasn’t as well designed, but the mask sidequests were everywhere and added that same sense of coherence. While not as bad as Twilight Princess, Wind Waker didn’t share that same sense of accomplishment and unity.
That leads me to another complaint that still holds. While the game is bursting with colourful characters and a consistent personality, Wind Waker wastes this fact too often. The underwater Hyrule is undeniably cool, and there are scattered moments throughout the experience, but the game has trouble having any emotional effect via mood like I’m used to from the series. I know the opinions are mixed on this, but while I’m not detached from the story, I feel like I’m watching an interesting tale rather than being inside the world like with Ocarina and Majora.
Overall, however, I think Wind Waker was an incredibly important title for Nintendo to make. Twilight Princess proved that even a very well designed traditional Zelda title feels stale, and Wind Waker proved that Zelda can work in a brand new universe. It may easily not be my favourite, but I am definitely very glad it exists and that it had the guts to take Zelda somewhere new. That is something that it’s done better than any other title in the series, and I hope it’s outdone really soon.
MIA
Sunday, December 6th, 2009No, not the artist. Where’s Riddles? By my count, he’s posted ONE thing this week. Miserable. Anyway, I have a Wind Waker retrospective coming later tonight and a super surprise feature tomorrow (although it might be posted late, and if you listen to the Megaphones Ahoy! Podcast, you probably know what it is). Because I STILL CARE.
Sometimes you just have to say “What the Pfargtl?”
Saturday, December 5th, 2009
Hey! Look! Listen!
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Oh hey there. Remember Riddles? He doesn’t! He’s probably crying in some lost corner somewhere wondering where and who he is. That’s the absolutely only explanation I can think of why he didn’t come up with a Hey! Look! Listen! last night. But that’s okay, because there’s a wealth of news that I’m more than happy to bring you. So I, your temporary host, Ethan “Ethos the Great” Pipher, will guide you through the bizarre and depressing world of video games.
What I imagine the dude looks like
Man Completes World of Warcraft
Let’s start with the most depressing thing. Some sad sap recently “beat” World of Warcraft this week. Wow. WoW wow, even. I suppose he should be congratulated, but I just feel like crying. Especially because I feel I’m going to get the honour for Final Fantasy XIV when it comes out next year. MMOs are the games you’re not supposed to beat. (Destructoid).
White Knight Chronicles Gets North American Release Date
Took them freaking long enough. February 2. Still, with Mass Effect 2 and FFXIII, this one would need rave reviews for me to pick up. And looking at the reception in Japan, I’m not holding my breath. (IGN).
InFamous Sells Well Later and Opens Up DLC to Everyone
Infamous sold modestly when it first came out, but whether it was all the buzz, or people waiting to buy a slim, the numbers have jumped from around 200 000 at its release to 1.2 million now. To bring attention to this, Sucker Punch has dropped the price and is going to be releasing DLC that was previously only available as a pre-order incentive. It’s some “gigawatt” move or something. You power up the Delorean, I think. I don’t remember. I’m not terribly interested in that part of the story, so you can read the article if you are. (IGN).
Gran Turismo 5 Demo Coming This Year
Yessssss. This excites me, although with Forza 3 being so awesome, I have to admit that my enthusiasm is a little tamer than it would have been. Still, it’s nice to see all these games like Final Fantasy XIII and Gran Turismo 5 show that they are, in fact, going to be released before I die. Presumably anyway. Maybe Riddles is MIA because he’s come up here to kill me. (IGN).
Mass Effect 2 Discs
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?! I used “2″ twice! Because it’s Mass Effect 2, and it’ll be on 2 discs! WOW, I’m incredible. But it’s true. On the PC, it just means a 2 disc install. On the 360 it means you’ll have one (and only one) disc swap at one carefully chosen point in the game. I’m sure some people are grumbling, but I don’t care about the swapping one bit. Although it does likely mean that the game will be longer. I know that’ll make some happy, but I loved the length of the last game, so I’m lukewarm on that thought. Either way, that’s the story. Oh yeah, and there’ll be a 3rd disc of bonus stuff if you get the Collector’s Edition. (IGN).
Done! That’s better than Riddles’ typical pile of shit, right?
Scatter Storming. Issue #012 “Too Much Hair Gel”
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
To save this series from getting too classy, I decided to at least choose an embarrassing photo for this week’s cover art. Anyway, Wind Waker’s still pretty sweet, but let’s see what I have to say with my typical lack of preparation that’s necessary for this feature.
Mr. Cloud Man! -
Remember that guy? My DSi has gone through many trials of being left places, losing chargers, and having good games come out for it. But now I’ve finally finished the toon and I’m just working on animating the “The End”. Progress!
I didn’t end up playing Wind Waker Tonight -
Yeah, it turns out when you’re not used to having TV, and then you move to a new place that has TV, including some choice HD channels, you forget about playing Wind Waker and end up writing your Scatter Storming article 2 hours after you wanted to go to bed. My life, people.
Mass Effect 2 is going to be like a blowjob -
Awesome, and not happening soon enough. It’ll also likely end messy. That trailer that Riddles posted reminded me how excited I am for that game. I need to beat so many games before then because if the original is any indication, it will consume me. Um…like…a blow job.
Mario Bros can be hard -
That secret world? I unlocked one of the levels. The first one. Yeah, it’s refreshingly not easy. Not that the game is easy, but it’s nice to have that extra level of difficulty.
Holy shit, stupid TV -
Seriously, I just watched some of the stupidest shit I’ve seen in my entire life, and you all have to suffer for it.
FUCK YOU!!!
Ugh, see what’s happening to me? I don’t mean that. I just regret the past…7, 8 hours of my life. Seriously, I love you guys.
Can you believe I started this 5 hours ago? -
I can’t.
Worst Scatter Storming ever -
Seriously. I’m very, very sorry. The title should read “Too Much Suck Gel”. Weekend starts tomorrow. Let’s try to turn this train wreck around then, hm?
Hey! Look! Listen!
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
Good… uh, early MORNING everyone, and welcome to yet another edition of Hey! Look! Listen! As per always, I’m your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and I’m here with a smattering of news stories and oddities that managed to catch my eye.
In case you haven’t guessed already, I’ve failed at playing any Wind Waker this week. However, the week is far from over, so there is time. That game happens to be my second favorite Zelda, hot on the heels of the immortal Ocarina of Time. So naturally, I’m pretty excited about re-visiting it.
Shall we?
Ubisoft Announces New Prince of Persia Game
I don’t think I’ve ever been so simultaneously thrilled and terrified by a game revelation in my life. Ubisoft has recently announced that Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands will be released for both consoles and handhelds in May, coinciding with the upcoming film. Reportedly, the game will feature “fan-favorite elements from the original series,” as well as “new gameplay innovations.”
Why is this awesome? Because it’s a) Prince of Persia and b) a return to the Sands of Time universe, which is INFINITELY preferable to the cel-shaded universe of the recent series reboot.
Why is it terrifying? Well… because it’s a movie tie-in. While I can’t imagine that Ubisoft would mar the integrity of one of their most respected franchises, it’s still an unpleasant thought, given the quality of most film tie-ins. Secondly, Ubisoft DID NOT announce if this was a return to the Sands of Time videogame universe, or a game based on the film itself. (i.e, featuring the likenesses of the actors and such). If that turns out to be the case, no corner of the internet will be safe from my wrath. Let’s just say I’m tentatively both stoked and enraged. (Kotaku, 1UP).
Final Fantasy XIII Boxart, Length Revealed
The fact that Final Fantasy XIII will be mine in four months still hasn’t quite hit me yet. Not sure why, but regardless, the internet isn’t going to rest until my anticipation has reached the breaking point. Have a look at the game’s recently-revealed boxart:
My verdict: not bad, though extremely simplistic, and the Xbox 360 version wins for showing more leg.
While I’m on the subject: Final Fantasy XIII director Motomu Toriyama has gone on the record stating the the game will be a whopping 50-60 hours long. “For XIII, the size of the entire game is considerable,” said Toriyama. ”Just running through the main story takes experienced players over 50 hours. For the first time, I think it’s possible to play through in full in about 60 hours or so.”
Good to know some things never change, I guess. Lord knows I’ll be punching in every hour and then some. (Kotaku, 1UP).
Assassin’s Creed II DLC Forthcoming
I rarely give a shit about downloadable content, but Ubisoft might change my mind with what they have planned for Assassin’s Creed II. Two different DLC packs have been announced, scheduled for release in January and February of 2010. They are entitled Battle of Forli and The Bonfire of the Vanities, respectively.
Those who have played and finished Assassin’s Creed II know that late in the game, the story skips a rather large chunk of time. (11 years, to be precise – it jumps from 1488 to 1499). Also, it skips two chapters – jumping from “Memory Sequence 11″ to “Memory Sequence 14.”
Perhaps you’re picking up on something here? If you need further proof, the Bonfire of the Vanities is an actual historical event that took place in Florence during the year 1497. Fits right in the aforementioned 11 year gap.
Oh, and Ubisoft is telling gamers to keep 1 GB of space available for each DLC, meaning these additional chapters will be quite lengthy indeed. (Kotaku).
Check Out Mass Effect 2’s New Asari Babe
I’m sorry, but Liara will not be making the cut as long as this chick’s around. All I can say at this point is damn.
Yakuza 3 Listing Found on Amazon Germany
It’s easy to forget that Yakuza 3 isn’t ACTUALLY confirmed for release outside of Japan. However, Sega’s persistent “no comments” and now this Amazon listing act as a sort of de facto announcement if you ask me. Apparently the game is set for a March release. I’d give you the link, but it’s apparently (and unsurprisingly) been taken down. Yakuza fans rejoice; I know you’re out there. I’m not one of them, though… seeing that I’ve, uh, never tried the series out. (1UP).
Nintendo Scales Back Wii Production
A report from Nikkei states that two Japanese companies, Mitsumi and Hosiden, are facing staggering losses in profit due to “declining fortunes” of Nintendo’s Wii. In case you’re slow on the uptake, Mitsumi and Hosiden are companies that assemble, among other things, Wii systems. Fewer Wiis being sold means fewer Wiis being assembled. All said, both companies are reportedly looking at net profit losses of over 50 percent. Ouch.
I find it rather humorous that, after years of keeping Wii production low, (likely for the sole purpose of stirring hype) Nintendo ramps it up, only to cut it back again with startling quickness. Or… maybe it’s all part of their evil plan. I don’t know. They’re devious little bastards like that. (Kotaku).
And that, as they say, is that! My goodness it’s late. Early. Whatever. Good thing I have to work for 10-11 hours tomorrow! Time to grab my four hours of sleep. Catch you on the flip side.
Wind Waker Update.
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009In the true spirit of the week, I played another hour of my recent Wind Waker save file last night. I’m still loving it, but MAN do I hate Ganondorf’s design. Also, why does Tetra lose her personality when she becomes Zelda?
“Ooh, I’m wearing a pink dress now, I should lose my spunk!”
Ugh.
Welcome to Wind Waker Week
Monday, November 30th, 2009
SO MANY W’s!
Well folks, with no games coming out, and with Link’s Choo Choo Adventure coming out so soon, Riddlethos has decided to set the stage with the oft debated entry to the series, Wind Waker. If you follow the site, you probably know that I recently booted up the game for the first time in a while and I quite enjoyed it. I’m going to start from where I left off, and I believe Riddles is going to start from the beginning. We’ll give our thoughts, reflections, and semi-anticipation for the new DS title. Do you have a copy? Play along! Argue and agree with us! Because whether or not your enjoy the direction of the “cartoony” Zeldas, you can’t deny they brought new life and debate to the series.
