Hooah. Welcome to the 60th edition of Hey! Look! Listen! Can you believe it? 60. I mean, there isn’t much significance in the number, but it’s a pretty impressive run, eh?

EH?

That’s what I thought. Anyway. While the review and banner doubtless gave it away, allow me to offer you a formal welcome to Metroid: Other M Week. Being the impoverished fuck that I am, I will likely be unable to purchase and play the game, so my thoughts will not be offered. As for Ethos, he’s already written a detailed review for the game, but he’ll likely write something else about the game before the week’s end.

Alright, well, now that pleasantries are out of the way, let’s dive into the topics of interest for today.

First Batch of Arkham City Screens Released, Look Way Too Good

Holy God. I mean, Arkham Asylum was a damn good looking game – aside from Uncharted 2, it was probably the prettiest game that came out in 2009. So clearly the people at Rocksteady know how to pump out some graphics. But this – this – is just insane:

Click on the image for the full size. Some mighty fine texture work there, eh? Almost looks touched up. I’m gonna go ahead and guess that these are from the PC version. In any case, I think it’s safe to say that Arkham City will be a hell of a good-looking game when it’s released in late 2011. Hit up IGN for the full batch of screens. (They’re all amazing.)

Great Scott: Back to the Future Episodic Game Series Coming

That’s right. Telltale games, the people behind episodic titles such as Sam & Max and Tales of Monkey Island are adapting everyone’s favorite time-travelling trilogy into a series of episodic games, due out later this year on multiple platforms. It will be timed to coincide with the Back to the Future 25th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray, which releases on October 26.

I didn’t even know the trilogy was coming to Blu Ray. And we’re getting a game, too? Can this get any better?

Yes, yes it can: Christopher Lloyd will be returning to voice Doc Brown, and original screenwriter Bob Gale will be onboard the project.

If this sounds completely out of the blue (it was to me) it actually isn’t. Some months ago, Game Informer spilled the beans on a Jurassic Park game being developed by Telltale as part of a deal they struck with Universal Studios. A Back to the Future game is yet another product of that deal.

“Our partnership with Universal is an exciting next step in our continued growth as a mass-market games publisher and developer,” says Telltale Games CEO Dan Connors. “We are all huge fans of both of these franchises. For Back to the Future and Jurassic Park, we will leverage Telltale’s expertise in story-telling and game design to deliver on the unique elements of each series, with our goal being to create compelling cinematic adventures paying homage to each franchise.”

I’ll admit to being excited. Back to the Future has long been one of my most loved film trilogies, and I’d love to see it given proper treatment within the world of videogames. Same with Jurassic Park, really. I haven’t played any of Telltale’s other stuff, but given the reception of stuff like Sam & Max, it sounds like if anyone can do it, they can. I can’t wait. (Kotaku)

Call of Duty: Black Ops Multiplayer Details Revealed

Treyarch appears to be stepping up their game with the upcoming Call of Duty: Black Ops. And they need to, because when set next to the two Modern Warfares, World At War, their previous effort, pales rather dramatically. (In my opinion, at least.)

At an event in Los Angeles, journalists were allowed their first hands-on time with Black Ops’ multiplayer modes. The event is actually taking place as I write this, so I doubt every piece of information has found its way to the internets at this time. But, this being the modern age and whatnot, there’s already more than enough to whet the appetite.

-COD Points: A New In-Game Currency

Black Ops will introduce an in-game currency known simply as COD points. They’re earned by playing the game (naturally) and they can be… spent on things. I’m not sure what, exactly, but we’ll probably know soon. As of right now, all we know for sure is that COD points can be used as gambling currency in…

-Wager Modes: Black Ops’ Four New Multiplayer Modes

Now, this is the big one. So far, at least. With your COD points, you’ll be able to gamble in the four new “Wager Modes.” You’ll be wagering that you’ll end up ranked in the top 3 at the end of the match. Those in the top 3 get all the money; the rest go broke. Descriptions of the four modes are as follows:

“One in the chamber” – each player spawns with one pistol, one bullet, and three lives. If you kill someone, you get to take their bullet. If you miss, you have only your melee attacks.

“Sticks and Stones” – you play with crossbows, tomahawks, and a ballistic knife. Obviously, the mode is meant to place an emphasis on visceral, up-close combat. As a twist, if you manage to hit someone with a tomahawk, you instantly bankrupt them. So. Watch your back.

“Gun Game”  - With every kill, you’re gifted with a more powerful weapon. The first player to cycle through them all wins. If you get knifed, though, you’re sent back a tier.

“Sharpshooter” – Everyone starts with the same randomly selected weapon. After a fixed amount of time, another random weapon is selected for everyone. Each kill earns you a perk, and if you rack up enough you’ll be gifted with a scoring multiplier.

Or, instead of reading all that, you could just watch this video:

I tend to play Team Deathmatch and only Team Deathmatch, but I like the sound of these. They sound unique, highly competitive, and potentially highly rewarding.

-Offline Multiplayer

Oh, and there will also be an offline multiplayer component that enables bots. This will be called “Combat Training,” and will be a separate entity from online multiplayer, with its own progression system. I just hope the mode enables split-screen play, so that my flesh-and-blood couch buddies can join in. If so, then the mode will be awesome. If not, I don’t have much interest in fighting an army of bots.

Exciting stuff, to be sure. November 9 can’t come soon enough. I’m just hoping to have prestiged in Modern Warfare 2 by that time. (No, I still haven’t prestiged.) (VG247)

QUICKIE: iTunes 10 Introduces Ping, the Social Network for Music

The headline is the story, essentially. If you want details on it all, head over to Gizmodo. What do I think? Eh, well, it looks slick as hell (I mean, it is Apple) but it also seems gimmicky and superfluous. I’d rather post YouTube music videos to my Facebook account. Or at least, that’s my first impression. I might think differently when/if I take a look at it, which I’m sure will happen sometime, if only out of sheer curiosity.

And that, as they say, is that. Man, I’m tired, and I don’t know why. I’m going to bed.

p.s, remember when Ethos used to write that thing called Scatter Storming? I miss those days.

-Fast and varied combat, way beyond a button-masher

-Surprisingly engaging story and voice-acting, despite some cheese

-Challenge, optional paths, good puzzles, and spooky moments

DISLIKED:

-The rare, but annoying, forced first-person sections

-The controls for the just as rare, just as annoying 3rd person suspense building sections

-Not as much environmental authenticity as the Prime series

Metroid: Other M was a game that nobody was expecting in a great number of ways. After the Metroid Prime trilogy was completed and saw moderate – but not blockbuster – success (the entire trilogy combined sold about 20% of New Super Mario Bros Wii sales alone), the entire gaming population was neither clamouring for nor expecting any new Metroid titles for at least a little bit. But then along comes Nintendo at E3 2009 to announce a collaboration with Team Ninja to make an all-new story-heavy 2D-3D hybrid Metroid game. It was both unexpected and a risk, but the major question is: did it all pay off? Largely, the result is not only a “yes” to that question, but a promising effort for the future of Nintendo’s dwindling hardcore fanbase.

Story

This is fun

But despite these scripted elements, Metroid: Other M doesn’t abandon its predecessors’ ability to foreshadow and create the appropriate atmosphere through gameplay and natural surroundings. Windows in a hallway overlook directly into a boss’ liar, and room and puzzle designs give clues as to the nature of the facility that Samus is exploring.

Still, while I’m pleased to see Nintendo take big steps – for them – toward immersive and admittedly unique story-telling, Other M is not particularly well-written, is prone to being occasionally hokey and melo-dramatic, and isn’t very surprising. That being said, my previous comparisons to Kingdom Hearts aren’t far off in the sense that despite these short-comings, the result is greater than the sum of its parts. Not to say that the style and themes are similar to Kingdom Hearts, so don’t be turned off if you’re not a fan of keyblades.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about Metroid’s story, however, is how well it stacks up to modern HD titles. Sure, it’s no Bioshock, but the tale is engaging the entire time and even has moments that are completely badass, something not seen in a Nintendo title for quite some time. Other M’s story was the element that had me the most skeptical going in, and after completion, I am sold.

Young and naive... naive and young... young and naive...

It works. Other M’s bizarre hybrid of 2D and 3D simply works. Not only that, it is a better experience for it. 2D combat uses the Wiimote held sideways and is fast-paced and frantic. Samus runs quickly, shoots quickly, dodges quickly, and jumps like crazy. In 2D, as long as Samus is facing an enemy, she will shoot it. This auto-aim doesn’t dumb anything down, however, it just allows the focus to be on positioning and strategy instead and this is a great design choice.

To dodge, Samus needs to tap the directional button in any direction. It’s very easy to pull off – which is good because it’s an essential move – but the catch is that if you want to take advantage of Samus’ speed, you need to be holding down a directional button, and not be tapping.

Of course, there’s always the option to point the Wiimote at the screen to make the smooth transition to first person. This lets Samus gain the ability of powerful missiles and precision aiming at the expense of mobility. The transition works incredibly well from a mechanical standpoint although there are a few intense instances in which the transition is unfortunately a little disorienting.

Perhaps more important than combat, is the freedom the first-person perspective gives you in platforming and exploration. A 2D perspective can feel limiting sometimes, especially in a game like Other M, when there are hidden paths, secrets in corners, and long hallways. Thankfully, the first-person perspective is a godsend for any meticulous player. Of course, the game was designed for players to make full use of all options, but that just means it was designed well.

In fact, all abilities that Samus gains are consistently useful. While some of them stack, others aren’t just useful for a short time after they’re gained, but can be implemented in combat and searching for hidden items and upgrades throughout the experience.

But on that note, I unfortunately have to move on from the great combat, varied exploration, and well implemented unique gameplay mechanics and talk about some of the duds.

I hate these guys

In addition to that annoying quirk, there are two other gameplay instances that frustrate during Other M. One is a forced first person perspective. This happens a few times for either research or combat. Both cases are contrived and feel antithetical to the rest of the game. The other instance is during times that are meant to build suspense. The camera zooms into a tight 3rd person over the shoulder shot and Samus can only walk slowly and without using her weapons or abilities. In and of itself, these sections actually work to build tension. But the controls are horrible. Walking in a straight line is fine, and even some turning is okay. But trying to backtrack or maneuver tight spaces is a nightmare.

Another thing that might be more of a personal annoyance is a small frustration at the location of the game itself. All of Other M takes place in a single facility. Now this facility manages to work in a lot of other classic Metroid sceneries, but it just doesn’t feel as authentic as the locales in, say, the Prime trilogy.

But to end my gameplay thoughts on the positive note that the game deserves, Metroid: Other M was a pleasantly challenging experience. Experts won’t have a terribly hard time, but the title thankfully does not feel dumbed down and the only way to fully recharge health is to find a save point. No health bonuses for defeating enemies. Although at critical health, Samus can take about 10 seconds to recharge a portion of her health at the risk of leaving herself incredibly exposed. Because of the risk and the only partial recovery, I am very thankful for the mechanic.

Graphics

Other M does not look as good as Metroid Prime 3. Other M does not reach the excellent level of art design that the Prime trilogy possesses. Of course, Retro Studios’ work would be hard to match, so this isn’t really a surprise or a disappointment. Especially because Other M is still a very pretty game, just not the best the Wii has ever seen. And with so much production value and attention to cinematics both in scenes and gameplay, it’s occasionally difficult to come to terms with the fact that there isn’t a HD version of the game that you could switch to. Of course, that is a hardware issue, so I cannot fault the game for that.

However, because the only way to move around the world is in the 2D perspective, there is a distinct lack of more epic terrains. Smaller rooms and tight hallways make up the majority of the environments, which isn’t new to Metroid, but can feel a little claustrophobic when coupled with my previous gripe of the overall location choice.

Jump on the head, blast off the face

Metroid: Other M successfully combines music and sounds reminiscent of both the classic Metroid games and the Prime series as well as throwing in some more epic elements into the mix with even a small taste of Mass Effect in there. Still, the sound design isn’t as detailed and unique as the Prime series, although still quite impressive because – again – comparing technology to Retro’s trilogy is a bit of a lost cause. In fact, I played with the volume louder than I usually have it, and the score was always appropriate in tone and volume.

The voice acting was way better than I expected. Samus’ somber thoughts were able to portray her serious nature with genuine emotion, and the supplementary characters ranged from believable to good. Sometimes a few lines were ridiculous, but that was more a fault of the writing than the actors.

Final Thoughts

Do not let my nitpicking deceive you, I really enjoyed Metroid: Other M. Despite its ridiculous name, Nintendo and Team Ninja were able to make a unique, ambitious title that was largely able to bring the best from all of Samus’ adventures into a new form. Other M is an extremely promising effort from Nintendo, showing that it is, perhaps, willing again to try and push boundaries to make unique hardcore titles. Oh, and did I mention that the game continues beyond the credits? Other M isn’t super-long, but it’s worth your money as a Metroid fan, or a gamer looking for a moody action-packed adventure with – yes – exploration.

Review Outline

So to offset my absence, I’m going to quickly list some shows that I have my eye on for the upcoming season in the order that they interest me.

Gloria gets Most Improved Character. Also: Al Bundy!

While nothing on TV has come close to the comedic and calculated perfection that was Arrested Development, Modern Family is definitely the best show on TV since. A large, nearly perfect cast sell subtle moments, genuine character growth and reactions, and more importantly, absolute comic gold. The second season is always very interesting for a show that comes so strongly out of the gate, and in this case, I’m actually a little worried. Unlike Community, which steadily got better, Modern Family was completely consistent, and after a long break, critical and commercial success, and 14 Emmy nominations, I have some fear that the pressure might catch up to them and we might see a stumble. Fingers crossed, though.

2. Community

This was a show that I always wanted to love because of Donald Glover, but wasn’t completely sold on at first. About midway through, however, Community finally found its groove and began to make some really funny television. A lot of the writing is heavily based on pop culture references, so it tends not to be as clever as 30Rock or Modern Family, but its absurdity and endearing characters has made me a loyal fan and I expect the 2nd season to be far better than the first.

3. Mr. Sunshine

This is the only show on my list that hasn’t actually aired any episodes yet. Matthew Perry’s highly sought-after mid-season replacement is a single camera comedy about a 40-year old dude’s midlife crisis. As a Chandler fan, I’m interested in seeing how this ends up.

Hopefully the son character is around just as often in season 2

Speaking of Friends, former castmate Courteney Cox had her own single-camera comedy launch last year to decent success. Which makes sense to me because it’s a decent show. A lot of people are – justifiably – turned off by the name, which is a shame because it’s a misleading title. Like Bill Lawrence’s last show, Scrubs, Cougar Town is more about character and silliness than it is about superb writing and intellect flexing. However, while I quite enjoy it, the show definitely doesn’t have the special place in my heart that Scrubs has. I’m just interested to see where the show goes from here, because unlike Modern Family, Cougar Town’s first season actually felt like a bit of a prelude to a long-running series.

5. Parks and Recreation

I’m surprised that this even made this list, but when I stop to think about it, it deserves the spot. I have not seen any of the first season, and only half the of the second (which I hear is way better anyway), but I found myself more and more endeared to it every time I watched. Not much else to say here, but that I enjoy watching a (not as smart) version of The Office that doesn’t have the same level of incredible awkwardness.

The Castaways

Like Riddles and I have talked at great length about on AIM, I’m sorta off The Office bandwagon now. I was a massive fan, but I feel like it has gone noticeably and drastically downhill and Season 6 barely held my attention. I’ll need to hear a lot of good things about Steve Carrell’s final season for me to care. 30Rock is another show that I really like, but it just seems to exist in the background for me now. I’m not really interested in it, but I haven’t become disillusioned like I have with The Office. I will watch and likely enjoy it, but I’m not doing jumping jacks for it and it doesn’t actively excite me.

Back to Metroid: Other M!

Usually, when we have a week labeled “TBA,” Ethos and I have an idea in mind, but we want to keep it secret for fun. This time, though, we had absolutely no idea what to do for the week. So we decided to do this.

Why? Well, you may not know this about us, but Ethos and I watch quite a bit of television. That is to say, we watch good television. And we tend to be fairly serious about it, watching entire seasons of shows in consecutive order, absorbing the entire experience. Oftentimes, when we get on AIM with the intent of discussing Riddlethos-related matters, we end up yakking about whatever episodes of whatever TV show we’ve recently watched.

Point being, we like good TV. We love it almost as much as we love videogames. So, for the three days that remain in this week, we’re going to talk about TV. So NYAH.

In order to get into the spirit of the week, I leave you with a clip from one of my current favorite shows, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Out of context, it’s not as hilarious as it should be. Regardless, this is one of my favorite TV moments of all time, so I’m posting it on my site, BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN.

Although it may seem like it, it will NOT be a fortnight long theme week. Riddles and I are actually going to make a bit of an experiment with the rest of this week, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

As you all probably know, I’ve been playing Metroid: Other M all week and just recently found out that I’m allowed to review it as soon as tomorrow. That likely won’t happen. Still, I am on track to review it by when it comes out on Sunday so you can look forward to that as well. I might take advantage of the embargo lifting tomorrow, however, and write up some impressions as I’m a fair way into the game now. I’ll give you a little spoiler in that my impressions will be largely positive.

Until all this happens: HOLD YOUR HORSES!

Aaaand I’m back.

Man, I really should stop pulling this frequent disappearance act. But (sadly) Riddlethos doesn’t pay the bills. And it was my birthday week, and the only present I received was the gift of laziness, which I gave to myself.

As for the title of this post, it’s in reference to my super-awesome desk that I received as a birthday present some years back. Right now, though, it’s collecting dust in a storage unit. Why? Because I don’t have an apartment, as you all know. Sitting on the bed with my legs wrapped around my laptop is not the most ideal position for typing. But I suppose it beats sitting in a dirty Murfreesboroan alleyway.

(Actually, I don’t think we have many dirty alleyways in Murfreesboro. If any.)

That aside, let’s see what trifles have managed to catch my fancy in the world of videogames.

THQ Feels Cheated When You Buy Their Games Used

Aw. Poor THQ.

A growing trend amongst videogame publishers of today is an outspoken disdain for the sales of used games, and for the penniless sots who purchase them. It started with EA and their “Project Ten Dollar” initiative, which charged used game buyers an extra ten bucks to access DLC and online play. THQ quickly followed suit, revealing last May that UFC Undisputed 2010 will come with a one-time use code for DLC and online play. Those who buy it used will have to buy a fresh code. Seeing that a lot of people purchased games used, there’s been more than a few disgruntled fans. I mean come on, everyone picks up a used game here and there – some of us honestly could use the five or ten bucks it saves us, y’know?

Well, THQ’s Corey Ledesma has come forward and revealed to CVG precisely how the company feels towards said purchasers of used games. Long and short, they really don’t give a flying fuck:

I don’t think we really care whether used game buyers are upset because new game buyers get everything. If used game buyers are upset they don’t get the online feature set I don’t really have much sympathy for them.

That’s a little blunt, but we hope it doesn’t disappoint people. We hope people understand that when the game’s bought used we get cheated. I don’t think anyone wants that, so in order for us to make strong, high-quality WWE games we need loyal fans that are interested in purchasing the game. We want to award those fans with additional content.

Cheated? Really? THQ thinks that Average Joe Gamer buys a used copy of UFC with the intent of “cheating” them? From where I stand, it looks like the guy just wants to save a few bucks.

I understand that THQ, along with every other publisher in the world, doesn’t see a penny from used game sales. I understand that they may find this frustrating. But to attack used game consumers in such a way, and go so far as to call them cheats (essentially) is way over the line. Sure, they may not be the one lining THQ’s pockets, but gamers who buy used are the ones doing the most spending, playing, living, and dying in this industry. Don’t piss us off.

Especially you, THQ. What the fuck have you released in the last… well, ever that gives you anything close to the right to talk down to consumers?

To conclude, words from Kotaku commenter Grahamillion:

Ironic because I feel cheated when I buy a THQ game.

Some British Politician Wants Medal of Honor Banned, EA Doesn’t Care

Given the sensitive subject matter present in EA’s upcoming Medal of Honor reboot, I’m surprised we haven’t heard more shit like this. I mean sure, games like Modern Warfare have broken the ice when it comes to games representing current military conflicts. But Modern Warfare took the concept and sensationalized it; you weren’t literally running around in the midst of Afghanistan shooting at Taliban members.

However, that’s exactly what you’ll be doing in Medal of Honor, which is pretty ballsy. I mean, sure, I’d say that the world at large is pretty over the fact that we’re still shooting at sand (our current administration has done a pretty good job of not talking about it, if nothing else) but still. To the people over there, at least, it’s still a sensitive thing.

Anyway. That being the case, you’d think that, say, an American politician might have a beef with the game. We’ve got plenty of reactionary, headline-grabbing asshats over here, after all.

But no. The first political figure to make a stink is the fucking British defense secretary. Yeah. British Defense Secretary Liam Fox doesn’t like the fact that, in the game’s multiplayer mode (which allows you to play as the Taliban) one of the maps is set in the Helmland province, where U.K. forces are stationed.

I am disgusted and angry. It’s hard to believe any citizen of our country would wish to buy such a thoroughly un-British game. I would urge retailers to show their support for our armed forces and ban this tasteless product.

Funny thing, though: There aren’t any British troops to be killed in Medal of Honor. So, Liam’s argument is totally, entirely, and completely baseless. Sounds like a good time for a retraction, right? Wrong. In the face of these facts, Liam stood by his call to ban the game:

The point remains that part of this game allows you to play the part of the Taliban attacking ISAF troops in the area of central Helmand where British troops are operating.

Christ.

A final hilarious irony is that the British government has swiftly and decisively distanced themselves from Fox’s insane comments. In a statement released to GamesIndustry, the The Department for Culture, Media and Sport had this to say:

Dr Fox was expressing a personal view and we understand why some people might find the subject matter of the game offensive.

There is a ratings system in place which exists to categorise games appropriately, in this case the game in question is rated 18 so should only be sold to, and played by, adults.

There is a clear choice for consumers which they can exercise when making decisions about purchasing videogames.

Right so, right so. Way to save face, U.K.

EA Games president Frank Gibeu also released a statement in retort to Mr. Fox’s assertions, which I was happy to see.  ”At EA we passionately believe games are an artform, and I don’t know why films and books set in Afghanistan don’t get flack, yet [games] do,” Gibeu told Develop.

“Whether it’s Red Badge Of Courage or The Hurt Locker, the media of its time can be a platform for the people who wish to tell their stories. Games are becoming that platform.”

Or at least they’re trying to be. Given the subject matter, Medal of Honor should be scrutinized. But it should be scrutinized by those who play it, and by those who are interested in critiquing its artistic merit, and how well it handles its subject matter. Pointless controversies like this one tend to distract people from this, and to me, that’s an incredible injustice. (Kotaku)

Catherine Looks Like Some Fucked-Up Shit

Seriously, it does. If you haven’t heard, Catherine is an action-adventure game being developed by the minds behind Persona 3 and 4. The story focuses around a man named Vincent (first seen in the PSP port of Persona 3) and a seductive, myserious woman named Catherine. (D’oh!) It also happens to be the first HD title developed in-house by Atlus. (We won’t speak of Operation Darkness, which, while published by Atlus, was developed by Japanese studio Success.) It also happens to be… really weird-looking. This trailer’s a few days old, so you may have seen it. If not, please to enjoy below. It’s worth watching for weirdness alone.

Color me intrigued. I can’t deny that I’m a little disappointed they didn’t announce Persona 5 instead, but Catherine looks like it could be a unique, atmospheric experience. Looks like Atlus is manning up and putting actual sex scenes in their games, which is long overdue.  That, and I’m hoping they’re using the game as a test-run for a Persona 5 engine. Makes sense, right? The game hits Japan in Winter 2010.

QUICKIE: Toshiba to Roll Out Glass-less 3DTVs by Year’s End

This interests me. I’m not going to try to paraphrase the article here, head to Gizmodo for the full story. (Lots of big words and phrases like Integral Imaging System, Motion Parallax, and low-temperature poly-silicon.) Point being, it looks like we may be seeing glass-less 3DTV technology a lot sooner than we might have hoped.

And that’s it. Sorry it’s so late. Today has been… really dumb, to put it lightly. There’s still no new banner, and I apologize for that. I have tomorrow off, so I’ll deal with that shit then. At this point, I really have no idea what it will be. Suggestions, perhaps? A Murfreesboro Week (as suggested by SiliconNoob) is actually pretty tempting, but it might require a little more preparation than I’m able to handle at this point. Still, if the people call for it, I could find a way…?

But seriously. Suggestions. Make them. And comment on the news stories too, or I’ll cry. This is the longest HLL I’ve written in a while.

Love you all,

~Riddles

More DeathSpank! Win!

Yup. Already. Fantastic. It’s called DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue. I couldn’t ask for more.

I know the game was originally designed to be episodic, so I guess a lot more was developed than it seemed. This is great news to me because I loved that game and have actually been craving more. To have a sequel in a month is beautiful music to my ears.

Oh, and as for a new theme week? Riddles can decide, I’ve had his back recently, now it’s his turn to have mine.

Especially because I just got a review copy of Metroid: Other M so that I can provide you all with a review in time for release. Long live Riddlethos! And Deathspank!

No picture is more appropriate for this post than this beauty. Thank you, SiliconNooB for its creation.

Reading over old RPGamer QnAs, I can only imagine that our impending epic friendship was more apparent to our readers than it was to myself. It’s difficult to have such good friends that live so far away. My girlfriend has been in a different province for months from when we started dating, Lusipurr and Nate Liles live in Michigan and I haven’t seen them in far too long, and Oliver Motok lives in Murfreesboro: Lost City of Dreams.

It oddly struck me as I was washing dishes just minutes ago. Sure, Riddles and I talk all the time and we run a website together, but I can’t ignore the fact that one of my greatest friends lives in another country. Sometimes I just want to hang out with the guy, and it’s impossible without a lot of planning and cash. Because for all the shit we all give him, Oliver is a loyal friend. He doesn’t judge (much), he is smart and creative, he enjoys good company and is easy and fun to hang out with.

So on his birthday (sorta), I want to sincerely and fruitily honour Oliver Motok and his embittered friendship to me and his invaluable personality on this site. And until we are finally in the same city one glorious day in the future, I will continue to simultaneously miss him and be thankful for his friendship. Happy birthday, Riddles.

How’s THAT for sap, mother fuckers?!

Well folks, it is now officially my birthday. And so far, my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend has wished me happy birthday, and so has Nate Liles.

THAT’S IT! Nope, Riddles texted about something completely different then made a silly claim about “time zones”, and Constipated Cow called to say “oh fuck, did I miss your birthday? It was the other day, right? I’m a bad friend”. Damn straight you’re a bad friend! I know your birthday is May 15, and that’s without consulting Facebook. Idiot.

I’m actually horrible with birthdays, so I shouldn’t talk. I’ve forgotten my mother’s birthday on 3 of the past 4 years. Still, on this joyous occasion I will still bring you all belated news. I went to Microsoft’s X10 event today, and although a bunch of great games were playable, I spent 2 hours in 8 different interviews instead. Oh well, at least it was an open bar. The point is that I’m tired, so let’s talk about semi-new Gamescom news!

There’s a lot, so just find the headlines or pictures you like, and pick and choose your stories if you’re in a tl;dr mood, I won’t get offended.

No longer just a mock-up

The Normandy Lands on a New Space (Play)Station

This is the oldest news, but still some of the biggest. Ray Muzyka, the CEO of Bioware, made the announcement on Tuesday that Mass Effect 2 would be coming to PS3 with “hours of bonus content”. The port is planned to be released in January 2011 with “no plans” to bring the original over as well. In fact, Microsoft made sure to pee all over this announcement to mark their territory on the franchise. Here is a statement they gave to IGN.

With both Mass Effect titles launching first on Xbox 360 combined with the wealth of available paid downloadable content on Xbox Live today, Xbox 360 remains the best place to experience the Mass Effect franchise…and the original Mass Effect is absolutely an Xbox 360 exclusive, making Xbox 360 the only place to get the full Mass Effect experience

You can feel the panic in their text. Still, I have no interest in replaying the series on another console unless I get to play through all of my choices, so they have a point. And seeing how Microsoft published the original game, it will be a while – if ever – before it sees the light of day on another console. (IGN)

Microsoft’s Copout Handheld System

Microsoft is trying really hard to fight off Apple. Windows 7 is their obvious attempt to combat (see: emulate) Mac OS, and their Windows Phone 7 is their newest attempt at an iPhone killer. Not just as a powerful smartphone, but apparently as a gaming platform like the iPhone has become. In fact, Kevin Unangst – some exec at Microsoft – even went as far to say the following,

We’re looking at this like: Call it like a console launch. It’s really like our portable console launch in that there’s a constant hardware set, we’re specifically choosing the content we want, and it’s about bringing all of those service features over.

Sure, the hardware is made by a third party, but why not try to throw it into the portable console race as well? To their credit, the phone is shaping up to pretty slick and pretty powerful with a lot of thought going into the gaming side of things. I won’t have any real interest, however, until I hear about things more interesting than Peggle. Because I can get Peggle on PSN, thank you. Not that Peggle has been announced, it was just an example. (IGN)

Everything Cole is New Again

I truly outdo myself. What a great headline.

But onto the story, I haven’t seen a backtrack this quick since Sony’s doomed boomerang controller. Anybody remember that thing? Was I the only fan? Anyhoo, while people were hyped for all the new Infamous 2 stuff, the new design and voice of Cole made it a bittersweet unveiling. While the voice appears to be unchanged, Cole’s newest design – while still different – is far more akin to the original. Which do you prefer?

Old New Cole:

New Old Cole:

I have to say that the New Old Cole does seem less douchey, what with the lack of necklaces. Although as much as I loved Infamous, it wasn’t for the story and characters, sorry. (IGN)

Resistance 3?!?! What a Surprise!!!

That’s the whole story, really. It’s finally been officially confirmed beyond that movie set still grabbed in October 2009. I liked the original a lot more than the sequel, but I’m willing to give this third installment a chance. That is, of course, after we get some more details. We currently have none. Maybe this should belong in the “quickie” section, but that’s swiftly becoming the “impressions and not actually news” section. (IGN)

HD soon!

No More Wii Exclusive

I never played either No More Heroes games for the Wii although they seem to have a cult following. But it looks like now I’ll have a chance to try it the series on a real system. A HD remake of the original title that will be released as “No More Heroes: Heroes’ Paradise”, was announced today during a Konami press conference at Gamescom. No release date was mentioned beyond 2011, but more importantly it was confirmed that the game can be played with traditional controls despite supporting Playstation Move. (IGN)

Portal 2 in February 2011

Hey, not all my headlines have to be clever. Valve confirmed that Portal 2 – the full follow-up to the unexpected and superb mini-title – will be released on February 9th for PS3, 360, and PC. No timed exclusives. Simple and beautiful news.

As a little piece of supplementary news, Game Informer tells us that Stephen Merchant will voice the character of Wheatley, who is apparently a British robot. I haven’t been following the game as to not spoil too much. Anyhoo, you might know Stephen Merchant from the British version of The Office, or – as I know him – The Ricky Gervais show. (IGN)

QUICKIES/PREVIEWS:

Mortal Kombat First Look- Damn it! This is a game I could have played today, but didn’t have time to. It sounds like it’ll be the first good Mortal Kombat game in a very long time.

Killzone 3 Multiplayer- If you care. He also goes into the Move controls a little bit at the bottom. He’s diplomatic, but he you can tell he didn’t really care for them.

Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One- Enh, I just got into this franchise! I don’t want something this drastically new, more of the same please! The editor is optimistic, but I’m apathetic.

More Zelda Impressions- I’m sorry, but talk of the game occasionally misreading movements and a 95% accuracy rate being presented as a positive thing doesn’t get me excited for the game. But I expected this.

WHAT A BEAST!!! I’m done. It’s my birthday.

For now, however, sleep.

And I can do what I want, it’s my birthday week!

The face Ethos was making while saying that last sentence.