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by Ethos

Hey! Look! Listen!#62 – All the Lonely People

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

Well hello there, and welcome to the sixty-second edition of this barely viable news column, Hey! Look! Listen! I’m your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and for those of you are who wondering, yes, the title above is a reference to the classic Beatles song “Eleanor Rigby.” I *do* so love The Beatles, y’see.

On that note, (ha) I watched a documentary the other day simply called Imagine: John Lennon. For those of you who appreciate The Beatles, their music, and their history as much as I do, it’s a must-see. Buy it, download it, or Netflix it. (That’s what I did. Netflix instant streaming ftw.)

Hm. In other news, I saw Of Montreal play Nashville the other night. Great show, but man was it a terrible date.

And now that I’ve thoroughly bored you, it’s time to move on the the actual topics of interest.

Just pretend the DS is a Wiimote

Nintendo Finally Combines Wii Plus with Remote

HEY! – Why I care: Well, it’s about damn time. It’s absurd that Nintendo didn’t have this technology in place when the Wii was released four years ago.

LOOK! – Why You Care: Because we all enjoy opportunities to throw stones at the big N these days. Because they suck.

LISTEN! Like I said, it’s absurd enough that Nintendo didn’t have this available in the first place, and it’s even more absurd that they released the technology as a fucking add-on peripheral. Come on, Nintendo. Remember when Sony left the rumble functionality out of launch PS3 controllers? Remember how much people panned them for that shit? And that was just for the stupid rumble. (Kotaku)

Zombies Return to Call of Duty: Black Ops

HEY! – Why I Care: I’m pretty sure that the vast majority of the time I’ve spent with Treyarch’s Call of Duty: World at War has been in the Nazi Zombies survival mode. I don’t know what’s so appealing about teaming up with a buddy and fending off wave after wave of shuffling undead German scum, but whatever the reason, it’s cost me many hours of my life. So, naturally, I’m pretty excited to hear that they’re bringing back the zombies for Black Ops

LOOK! – Why You Care: Uh, because zombies are awesome, regardless of context? Because even people who never played a moment of World at War’s campaign or multiplayer modes are familiar with Nazi Zombies? And because this is just another game mode added onto the already impressive array that Black Ops features.

LISTEN! This was actually more or less confirmed a few months ago, when Activision let slip that the Prestige and Hardened editions of Black Ops would feature four updated maps from World at War. (Those maps, of course, being the four Nazi Zombie maps.) In any case, it’s been confirmed for realz now. Treyarch boss Mark Lamia had this to say:

“We’ve taken extra special care to retain the essential ingredients of our Zombie game, and have also crafted a nice surprise for the fans.”

Woo. I can’t wait to see what the nice surprise is!

Seriously, though, Zombies are teh great. (IGN)

3DS Launches in Japan February  26, Costs $300

HEY! – Why I Care: Admittedly, I’ve been kinda sold on the 3DS since the announcement of an Ocarina of Time remake. Well, “sold” might be a bit over-the-top, but it looks like a unique device with a surprisingly strong lineup of games in the works. It’s definitely something I’ll want at some point.

LOOK! – Why You Care: It’s the next Nintendo handheld. It’s sort of a big deal, seeing that they continue to largely dominate the handheld gaming race. The 3DS will be the first system to offer an exclusively 3D experience – without glasses, at that. It’s uncharacteristic of Nintendo to embrace cutting-edge technologies in such a way, and I find that intriguing.

LISTEN! Nintendo recently held a press conference in Tokyo where they finally blew the lid off of the 3DS. It’ll hit Japan on February 26, 2011, it will be available in “Aqua Blue” and “Cosmos Black,” it’ll have it’s own Virtual Console with Gameboy games, and supposedly it’ll have television programming. Oh, and it’ll cost 25,000 yen – the equivalent of 298 USD.

Now, granted, this doesn’t mean it’ll cost $300 when it hits the states. Nintendo hasn’t given a price or specific release date for us yet; supposedly sometime in March.

I really hope it doesn’t cost $300. That would be ridiculous. But frankly, it doesn’t matter much to me, because I make it a rule to wait for at least one re-design before I purchase any Nintendo handheld. It’s a generally rewarding practice. (Kotaku)

Speaking of the 3DS: See Footage of Almost Every 3DS Game

Or at least the ones that matter. Seriously, it’s worth watching. Resident Evil looks amazing. And Zelda doesn’t look half bad either.

Okay. That’s enough. I started writing this almost 36 hours ago. But then I had work, and then getting utilities turned on for my new apartment, and tomorrow I’m moving. That’s right. So, uh. You probably won’t see me for the rest of this week. Unless I can steal internets from some new neighbors.

‘Till then, Riddlethosians!

~Riddles

Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #010

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Hey, it’s been a month since this news feature, and while Riddles has a valid excuse for his absence this week, I absolutely do not, so how about we get started?

When will you get one? How much will you pay?

Nintendo Announces the Date for Japanese-Relevant Details Regarding the 3DS! How Exciting!!!

Yeah, I know, not really. But it’s not a complete complete waste. On September 29th, we learn when Japan is getting the device and how much it will cost them. This should at least give us an idea of how much the thing is going to run the rest of us in the non-Japan countries. And it’s not impossible that we’ll be getting stateside-relevant details as well, so keep your ears peeled for late September.
(IGN)

Oh no, Insomniac, you too?

Yup, Insomniac is joining in the fun and announcing that they will announce a title “sometime between now and the Penny-Arcade Expo”. Woo-hoo. I wonder if it could possibly be the basically-already-announced Resistance 3. Let’s hope it’s something more exciting.
(IGN)

But Back to the 3DS and What WON’T be Launching With It

Resident Evil Revelations and Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition won’t be! Capcom mentioned that these titles are not planned for release within the fiscal year. If you remember, Nintendo promised that the 3DS will be out in all regions by the end of the fiscal year, and thus the Capcom software cannot launch with Nintendo’s hardware. Unless, of course, Nintendo breaks its promise; something completely unheard of!

Anyway, I’m being sarcastic because I couldn’t give a flying fuck about these two titles.
(IGN)

Long time no MS Paint job

British Pirates Must March the R4 Card Off the Plank

Staying in this Nintendo vein, the company has won a battle in the UK to make the R4 card (and similar cards) illegal. So that includes importation and marketing. Sure, I’m not a pirate when it comes to games, but what does this mean for the harmless homebrew community? I’m sure they’re not happy while Nintendo giggles in their pile of money.
(IGN)

Radiant Radiata’s staff Story’s Historia

Okay, so that title was a bit of a stretch, but it almost makes sense if you know the story. And the story is that key members of the under-appreciated gem, Radiata Stories – though not tri-Ace – are working on a new title for the Nintendo DS, Radiant Historia. What’s up with this new trend anyway? People leaving their original companies and attempting to recreate their past with synonymous titles. “Final Fantasy” becomes “Lost Odyssey” becomes “The Last Story”, “Radiata Stories” becomes “Radiant Historia”. It’s not really subtle, people, and it’s pretty annoying.

But I digress, the point is that you should keep your eye on this one, especially if you let Radiata Stories pass you by. You sad soul.
(IGN)

QUICKIES:

Nintendo Loses Money - For once!

Sony Makes Money - For once!

All right, that should do it! Don’t nobody say that Ethos can’t do no news!

Hey! Look! Listen! Audio Edition #002

Friday, July 9th, 2010

HLLAudioEdition
The podcast you wished had disappeared forever is back! With no Riddles nor Pogo, Constipated Cow steps up, and the results are disastrous! If you’re in a particularly masochistic mood, listen to these two idiots struggle for things to say and finally settle on creating demeaning situations for Cow’s girlfriend. To make things worse, Ethos wrote a terrible theme song that doesn’t suit the podcast one bit!

Please to enjoy.

Download directly here.

Subscribe to the RSS feed here.

Subscribe to it on iTunes here.

The Dust Has Settled: Day 3 – Ethos

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

Hey guys, another long day for me and another absentee day for Riddles on the most important week of the year for gaming. I’m just going to continue to drill that point home until he shows up.

Also, because it’s a special week, the regular features are being pushed unless Riddles decides to do an E3 version of Hey! Look! Listen! Yes, it’s been a while since Scatter Storming, but suck it up. Distance makes the heart grow fungus or however it goes.

Anyway, because of said long day and because of no big conferences, it’s harder to line up my thoughts, but here goes.

Gimme

Damn You 3DS!! -
Remakes and re-imaginings really shouldn’t be getting me this excited, but goddamn it, they are. Hell, I’m even hyped for Animal Crossing, and that game hasn’t changed in a billion years! It’s been so long since a new console of any sort came out, I forgot the deep anticipation it can bring. Oh well, at least FFIX just came out on the PSN, so I’ve got that on my PSP to distract me.

Miyamoto and Aonuma say things -
See? Losing steam. Miyamoto held his little post-conference conference thing, but the only interesting thing to come out of it was when he almost confirmed orchestration in Zelda until Aonuma later said that Miyamoto could have been talking out of his ass. Fun! Speaking of Aonuma, IGN has an interview with him that doesn’t really reveal much, but is an interesting and pretty candid read. Worth it if you care at all about Zelda. Speaking of, he talks about why the art style for Skyward Sword sparked my optimism for the title. He mentioned that they always come up with the art style after the gameplay direction has been set in stone. He also mentioned that super-realism doesn’t allow them to have as many quirky elements that Zelda is known for. Hence my guess that the more personality-filled art style will reflect a more personality-filled game. Because Twilight Princess was fun, controlled well, and had a vapid game world.

That’s all I got, I need to sleep. Let’s start taking bets on when you all think we’ll see Riddles again. I’m thinking July. Any takers?

Hey! Look! Listen! #51

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Well! Things may have began somewhat awkwardly this week, but we’re certainly on track now. Or, at least I am. No idea where that bumbling fool Ethos is hiding out. Hopefully you’ll see something from him today.

As you’ve already been informed, Hey! Look! Listen! is now a once-weekly affair. Ethos will be providing Friday news in the form of his deranged Tingle-themed column. I think the arrangement is mutually beneficial, and should keep things varied around here. And, maybe in the future, Ethos will find the time to include more than one news story.

Heh heh. Anyway. On to the topics of interest!

Apple’s iPhone 4.0 Lost, Recovered by Gizmodo


That’s right. An Apple employee managed to lose an iPhone 4.0 in a bar, and Gizmodo ended up swiping it for $500.

Gary Powell is a software engineer for Apple. About a month ago he was celebrating his 27th birthday at a bar in Redwood City, California. He had with  him a next-generation iPhone, cleverly disguised as a normal 3GS. Unfortunately for him, when he left the bar, he left the phone behind. The phone ended up in the hands of some unnamed guy who eventually sold it to Gizmodo for $500.

Gizmodo, of course, proceeded to blow the lid off of Apple’s next-generation iPhone. They were unable to turn on the device, but they managed to glean plenty of information nonetheless. Check it out at Gizmodo.com.

I personally think it looks pretty damn sweet. The flatter, sharp-edged new design is a huge draw to me, I think it looks far better than the curved models. The increased screen resolution is a huge plus, and even the new frontal camera could be neat. (Video chat calls, anyone?)

Ugh. My internal smartphone conflict remains unresolved. Apparently, Apple was pretty eager to get their prototype back, and it’s been returned to them. Hopefully they won’t go too hard on the poor schmuck who lost it in the first place. (Gizmodo)

Ubisoft Getting Rid of Paper Game Manuals

Yep, that’s right! In the interest of being eco-friendly, Ubisoft is doing away with paper manuals for their games. Instead, you’ll access an in-game digital menu. From their official statement on the matter:

Ubisoft internal data shows that producing one ton of paper used in Ubisoft’s game manuals consumes an average of two tons of wood from 13 trees, with a net energy of 28 million BTU’s (equivalent to average heating and energy for one home/year), greenhouse gases equivalent of over 6,000 lbs of CO2, and wastewater of almost 15,000 gallons.

Shrug. Hard to find fault with this, I suppose. But, at the same time, I kinda hope this doesn’t catch on. It reminds me of when DVDs stopped coming with paper inserts. Sure, they were fairly useless, but they made it feel like you were getting more for your money. DVD’s felt much… chintzier when they stopped coming with them. (VG247)

Three New Villains Revealed for Arkham Asylum 2

Hell yes. I can’t wait for Arkham Asylum 2, and it’s great to finally get some new info on it.

First, actress Stana Katic, who stars on ABC’s Castle tweeted that she was voicing Talia al Ghul, the daughter to classic Batman villain Ra’s al Ghul.

“I’m voicing Talia al Ghul, the daughter of Ra al Ghul (played by Liam Neeson in ‘Batman Begins’)”

She took the tweets down quickly, but plenty of people saw them thanks to Google’s cache.

Second, we have Maurice LaMarche who’s probably best known for voicing Kif Kroker in Futurama. He spilled the beans while speaking on the Geekcastradio podcast:

I’m about to go in and do Mr. Freeze for Arkham Asylum 2 … He’s out for blood right now because, err… I can’t tell you the situation, but he’s actually somewhat a sympathetic character within the framework of the game.

And finally, we have the voice of Batman himself, Kevin Conroy, speaking during a panel at the Chicago Comics & Entertainment Expo. According to Mr. Conroy, Arkham Asylum 2 will be “really, really dark.” He went on to compare Arkham Asylum 2’s “tone” to Batman: Return of the Joker. A bit strange, seeing that it’s Sega Genesis title from 1991.

In addition to all that, however, Mr. Conroy managed to reveal that Two-Face will be a villain in Arkham Asylum 2. So, there you have it. Three new baddies that will grace our presence in Batman’s next adventure. Let’s hope to see more at E3 2010. (VG247, Kotaku)

Rumor: Nintendo 3Ds Coming This October?

Previously, Nintendo’s only given a window of “before March 2011″ for the release of their 3DS. But now, CVG is very confidently reporting that the handheld will be released a full two months before Christmas – October of 2010, to be specific.

According to “a very senior publishing source:

It’s a surprise – we were expecting it much closer to Christmas. But I suppose it gives Nintendo the opportunity to get it front and centre in people’s minds nice and early.

In my experience, you don’t launch a product that early to Christmas unless you’re confident in it – and going to spend a lot of money on it. We’re reassured that Nintendo is going to give it some decent backing in Q4.

Nintendo’s dismissed the story as “rumor and speculation,” but CVG seems resolute. I suppose I wouldn’t be too surprised, frankly; I mean, why wouldn’t they attempt to take advantage of the Christmas season? At any rate, we’ll probably know for sure when Nintendo’s E3 Press Conference rolls around. Until then, this is technically just a rumor. (CVG via Gizmodo)

QUICKIE: Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 Announced – That’s right. PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Spring 2011. Full title is Marvel Vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds.

Well, that was enjoyable. Hope you’re all having a delightful evening! Look for the kick-off of our stupid theme week-inspired lists soon.

Hey! Look! Listen! #50

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Damn, we’re so broke, we couldn’t even afford a pretty banner. Sad.

Seriously, though, I am so fucking broke. I guess that comes along with the whole “unemployment” thing, though. Ethos still has a job, from what I understand, but somehow he’s broke too. I told him not to buy that damned piano.

Oh well. SOMEbody out there wants to hire me, right? I just have to find whoever that is. For now, though, let’s set all of my financial woes aside, and talk about videogames.

By the way, as the title implies, this happens to be the fiftieth edition of Hey! Look! Listen! Thank you, thank you; yes, this is a great day for me as well. Anyway. From now on, I’ll be including an issue number in each title.

Check Out this Gears of War 3 Trailer

I’m not terribly experienced with Gears of War. I played through a little over half of the first game, and never got around to the second one. I did enjoy it, though, and I’ll probably finish them both up before Gears 3 descends. This trailer is a bit on the overdramatic side (especially for a game like Gears) but it’s definitely well-done. And there’s a chick in it.

Gears of War 3 is slated for release on April 8, 2011. And, reportedly, it will feature four-player co-op, a step up from the previous games. A ways off, yes, but it’s never too early to launch a hype train. (Kotaku)

Heavenly Sword Developers to Make Devil May Cry 5?

According to some blog entitled “The Silent Chief,” Game Informer’s May issue spills the beans on the future of Capcom’s Devil May Cry franchise. Supposedly, they’re turning to Heavenly Sword developer Ninja Theory to work on the series’ fifth installment. The Game Informer quote is as follows:

Loose Talk has learned that Enslaved isn’t the only game Ninja Theory is working on-we’ve heard that the Cambridge, England developer is being tapped for the next Devil May Cry.

It is not totally unexpected, however; Capcom has said that although it is shying away from Western developer for new IP, it would continue to utilize them for known franchises, which DMC certainly is.

Interesting. I have very little experience with Heavenly Sword, but given the type of gameplay it contains, Ninja Theory isn’t an odd choice by Capcom. Frankly, Devil May Cry is a franchise that needs a major shot in the arm if it’s going to continue on in any respectable form, especially after games such as Bayonetta have so thoroughly defeated it at it’s own game. (Pun intended…?) So, maybe this new creative leadership is exactly what it needs. (Kotaku via The Silent Chief)

Google Looking to Tap the Gaming Business?

Google has their hands in plenty these days, from cutting-edge smartphones to Google Chrome OS Laptops. So, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that they plan to do something in the realm of videogames.

Google recently hired an ex-SCEA employee named Mark DeLoura, who formerly acted as Sony’s manager of developer relations. His official job title at Google is “Developer Advocate.” No details were offered as to what, exactly, he’ll be doing for Google, but it’s safe to assume that it has something to do with games. Speaking to GamaSutra, DeLoura said “I personally feel that Google hiring someone specifically to focus on games is a signal from the company that they recognize the growing importance of games as a medium.”

With the iPhone becoming a more and more legitimate gaming platform, I’m sure Google is looking to follow suit with their line of Android OS smartphones. Then again, it is Google. Why stop there? They could do practically anything. (Gizmodo)

Reggie Calls 3DS Nintendo’s “Next Handheld Platform”

We already knew this, really, but if there was any doubt before, Nintendo’s 3DS is without question a true successor to the Nintendo DS. Not another re-tooling, but a full-fledged successor. In an interview with BusinessWeek, Fils-Aime said that “We have ideas of what we want to bring to the consumer that we can’t do with the current DS model.”

He also says some stuff about how the business is all about software and blah blah blah. Of course, I agree with him, but Nintendo’s kinda lost their right to talk about quality software if you ask me. (VG247)

I Can’t Buy a 3D Television

Well, yes, my lack of money is a factor as well. But, there’s more to it. Samsung is prepping to roll out their line of 3D-enabled TV sets this year, and they all come with a set of “do nots” that will probably make your head spin. Below is their safety warning, in its entirety:

“Children and teenagers may be more susceptible to health issues associated with viewing in 3D and should be closely supervised when viewing these images. Children under the age of six should not view 3D TV.”

“Pregnant women, the elderly, sufferers of serious medical conditions, those who are sleep deprived or under the influence of alcohol should avoid utilising the unit’s 3D functionality.”

“Viewing 3D television may also cause motion sickness, perceptual after effects, disorientation, eye strain and decreased postural stability. It is recommended that users take frequent breaks to lessen the potential of these effects. If your eyes show signs of fatigue or dryness or if you have any of the above symptoms, immediately discontinue use of this device and do not resume using it for at least thirty minutes after the symptoms have subsided.”

“Watching TV while wearing 3D glasses for an extended period of time may cause a headache or fatigue. If you experience a headache, fatigue or dizziness, stop viewing TV and rest.”

More often than not, I have a beer at my side while I’m watching TV, or playing a game. In fact, I usually have several beers at my side. Most of them empty. So, Samsung can either find a way to accommodate me in this regard, or I can take my business elsewhere. (TechRadar)

And that’s that! Hope you enjoyed it. This will probably be a fairly relaxed week at Riddlethos.com, but we could all use a breather now and then, eh?

Hey! Look! Listen!

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

HLLfinal

ETHAN PIPHER IS WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, ALWAYS.

Nah, I’m just kidding. That was last week. This week is The Final Fantasy Week, so needless to say, there’s been some back-and-forth debate. Mostly concerning Final Fantasy.

But, we now take a break from that to make time for a regularly-scheduled favorite! I’m  your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and it’s time to look and see what’s going on in our beloved game industry.

This Can’t Be the 3DS… Can It?

My innate skepticism is telling me that there’s no way in hell that Nintendo could produce such a sleek-looking piece of hardware. I frankly don’t think they have it in them.

500x_0023

vertical

On a less vindictive note, turning the screen vertically in order to play original DS games looks really… unwieldy. Maybe it’s not? I wouldn’t know unless I was actually holding the thing. Anyway. Hit up Kotaku for the full batch of screens.

Two More Lead Developers Leave Infinity Ward

According to their respective LinkedIn profiles, Lead Designer Todd Alderman and Lead Software Engineer Francesco Gigliotti have departed Modern Warfare 2 developer, Infinity Ward. Alderman and Gigliotti worked at the company for over eight years. Sources told Kotaku that the duo had resigned, but this is unconfirmed.

Why is this interesting? Because it’s hot on the heels of two other key departures from Infinity Ward: Jason West and Vince Zampella, who were essentially the company’s two main men. As I’ve reported in the past, they were unceremoniously canned, and subsequently filed suit against Activision, claiming that they were fired without proper cause.

The IW/Activision scandal seems to be in a dead heat right now. But I have a feeling that won’t last. Or, rather, I hope it doesn’t. (IGN)

ac2screen2Assassin’s Creed 3 Apparently Set for 2010 Release

Michael Donnell is a 3D animator for Ubisoft. Like practically every other dude in the game industry, he has a LinkedIn profile. On his LinkedIn profile, he lists a few games that he’s worked on, and among these are “New Assassin’s Creed Title,” which he lists as a 2010 release. While this could conceivably be another shitty portable spin-off, I’m guessing it’s the real deal, since Ubisoft has said in the past that Assassin’s Creed 3 will be released sometime during their current fiscal year.

As of right now, his profile no longer says “New Assassin’s Creed Title,” but simply “new title.” But it totally said it before. Check this VG247 story for proof.

On a side note, Donnell also lists the fast-approaching Splinter Cell: Conviction as an Xbox 360 and PS3 release. Could mean nothing. It could also mean… something.

Aaaand that’s that. Short column today. If  you’re wondering where my pick for Best Art Direction is, worry not! It’s coming. It just might be, uh… late. Or something.

Laters!

Scatter Storming. Issue #024

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

ss024I’m in a bizarre anti-social mood, so let’s just dive in.

Out of the field and back into the tunnel -
Although Pokémon has been taking up most of my time, I’ve been making an effort to play Final Fantasy XIII too, since I quite enjoy a lot of the game, and if I beat it this week it might still be relevant to review it. Still, while the game is getting harder and harder (Lightning’s not a good enough Sentinel yet, and I often refuse to put Snow in my party, so that doesn’t help), it’s a little annoying to be plucked from the expanse of Pulse and dropped back into somewhat of a tunnel. Sure, there are more branching paths and whatnot, but game really does need more dicking around.

Despite all that, I’m excited to beat the game and go for completion since you can continue your save after beating the final boss, a nice change. It’s no New Game Plus, but it’s something.

Thank god for slow game season -
Seriously, I’m the most broke I’ve been in a very, very long time. I had to trade in for FFXIII and SoulSilver, and I hate trading in games. I don’t think there’s a game I want until Splinter Cell: Conviction, and I shouldn’t be so broke by then.

Seriously, I have to deal with this asshole? -
Check out the comments in Riddles’ little “revenge” post. What a little diva. I get that he quit his job and he’s having a bit of a life revolution, but Riddlethos and I shouldn’t have to suffer his little rebellion. We should be benefiting from it! We’re not the crazy oppressive mom, we’re the cool hip dad! Seriously, there’s just two of us, it should be easy to follow the simple rules we’ve laid out. Ones like “ONE MOTHER FUCKING OFFICIAL REVIEW PER GAME”. Argh, sorry, I love the guy, but I’m hoping a public rant will open up his eyes. He’s supposed to be the conservative one, remember?

Clarification on the 3DS -
Absolutely nothing is official yet, but IGN has a great article explaining three different technologies that the 3DS would likely choose between. I mean, it’s already been chosen, but you know what I mean. We have to wait until E3 for the absolute word, but what’s the internet for if not rumours and speculation?

That’s that. Modern Family time.

Hey! Look! Listen!

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

HLLfinal

Day #2 of unemployment. So far, it’s not all bad. That is, aside from the stunning lack of money being made.

Oh well. I remain optimistic. And, on the bright side, I have all kinds of time in the world for Riddlethos now! So, let’s HLL like we’ve never HLL-ed before, eh?

EH?

I know I’m not Canadian, but I can dream. Eh.

dsiNintendo Announces DS Successor in Form of “3DS”

In a surprise move (to me, at least) Nintendo president Satoru Iwata announced that his company will be releasing the “Nintendo 3DS” (working title) sometime during the “fiscal year ending March 2011.” Reportedly, the 3DS will display three-dimensional graphics without the necessity of glasses.

It’s worth noting that Nintendo is specifically calling this thing the “successor” to the massively popular DS. That’s reason to believe that it’ll be more than just a regular DSi spruced with 3D capabilities.

Various Japanese publications have leaked some specs for the device. Japanese newspaper Nikkei reports that the screens will size in at approximately 4 inches diagonally; 2 inches smaller than the DSiXL. (Not that anyone cares about the DSiXL). Fellow newspaper Asahi states that the screens will be a “parallex barrier LCD” manufactured by Sharp.

This strikes me as both an odd and predictable move from Nintendo. That may not make sense at the moment, but allow me to explain: It’s odd that they would announce plans to develop a system based entirely around a cutting-edge technology – that doesn’t seem like their style. But then I recall that, 95% of the time, 3D is still little more than a gimmick. And gimmicks are absolutely Nintendo’s style.

But, I’ll wait until I see the actual software, and how titles will utilize the 3D capabilities before I pass judgment. (VG247)

iPhone’s Share in Handheld Market Grows

…at the expense of both the DS and the PSP. Especially the PSP. According to a Flurry report, the iPhone’s share in the handheld gaming market went from 5% to 19% in the year 2009.

As a result, the DS dropped from 75% to 70%, and the PSP dropped from 20% to a mere 11%. Ouch!

iphoneus

This is a trend that I’m fairly sure will continue. I’m not ready to call it the “future of handheld gaming,” but the iPhone has its place in the handheld market. Speaking personally, the iPhone is where I do all of my portable gaming these days. I almost never play my DS or PSP, but it’s just so easy to whip out my iPod touch and, for example, play Final Fantasy I for ten minutes, five minutes, or 30 seconds. I mean, I guess I could do the same with my DS, but I’m not in the habit of bringing it with me everywhere. I think my example could be applied to a lot of iPhone gamers out there. (VG247 via Flurry)

The Witcher 2 Trailer Debuts

“Hey! It looks just like Dragon Age!”

Now, boys and girls, it’s important to recall that The Witcher actually came before Dragon Age. Years before, in fact, but it didn’t quite get the recognition it deserved, because it was a PC exclusive. Even so, it sold well over a million copies, and received rave reviews across the board. A console port was in development for a time, but much to the chagrin of myself and many RPG fans, it was canned.

I don’t play PC games, but I actually downloaded and played a demo for The Witcher. It ran like shit, but it was actually a lot of fun. The Witcher 2 will be coming to consoles, so watch this trailer and get excited.

ff13_agito_logo

Yes, Final Fantasy Agito XIII Still Exists

This is according to the game’s art director, Yusuke Naora. Speaking on Square Enix’s Japanese Twitter account, Naora didn’t say much – he essentially just confirmed that the game still exists, but it will probably be a while before we see any new information on the game, or any game in the Fabula Nova Crystallis compilation.

Final Fantasy Agito XIII was originally intended to be released on Japanese cellphones, but has been re-tooled as a PSP game.

I have no problems waiting. I’m still only twelve hours into Final Fantasy XIII. (VG247)

Holy Shit: See Heavy Rain’s Scott Shelby in Real Life

So apparently there was some 2005 movie with Clive Own called Derail. Also in this movie was Sam Douglas, the man who provided the voice and face of Heavy Rain’s private investigator, Scott Shelby. Now, in this movie, for the thirty seconds or so that he appears, he played the exact same character. Like… down to the grey trench coat and haircut. It’s fucking weird as hell. And strangely awesome at the same time. Take a look and see what I mean.

QUICKIE: Little Big Planet 2 Confirmed, With PlayStation Move Support

Huh? Oh, PlayStation Move? It’s their new-fangled motion controller. Or whatever. And according to some Dutch site called Tweakers, it’ll be used for Little Big Planet 2. I don’t really care, but I figured some of you people might. (VG247 via Tweakers)

That Tweakers link is in all Dutch, by the way.

Well that’s enough for now. Look for some God of War III stuff later today, and if you’re unlucky, some more Pokeyman-related garbage from Ethos, since everyone REALLY wants to hear about what monsters he has in his little band. Of monsters.

Ahem. Goodbye for now.