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            Can you handle it?
by Ethos

Biggest Letdown 2010 – Riddles

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

Final Fantasy XIII

Like this is a fucking surprise. I realize that, in spite of my utter and complete hatred for the game, I’ve never had the opportunity to simply ramble about it. The majority of the shit I’ve written for the game, I wrote during its first week of release – when I was desperately clinging to the feeble notion that the game was, somehow, good.

I knew the game was crap thirty minutes after booting it up.

And now, I’m going to fucking tear the shit out of it.

Final Fantasy XIII is that girlfriend who you spend copious amounts of money on for Valentine’s Day, only to have her ditch you five days later.

Final Fantasy XIII is that stepdad who seems cool, and takes you out to bars with him, except you end up just watching him get super-drunk and cheat on your mom.

Final Fantasy XIII is that dog your parents’ bought you as a kid, only to be taken away a few weeks later because your crotchety neighbors kept complaining, and your parents’ decided that their social status in the neighborhood was more important than your vulnerable, eight-year-old emotions.

Final Fantasy XIII is that drug dealer who tells you he’ll be good the day before your big party, only to have him cop out and get arrested at the last possible second.

Final Fantasy XIII is a liar and a cheat. Final Fantasy XIII is the textbook slut who slipped past your carefully-built defenses. Final Fantasy XIII is a dirty dirty whore.

But seriously, though, Final Fantasy XIII was more than just a letdown, it was a calculated slap in the dick to gamers of all kinds. In place of a rich, immersive gameworld we were given a series of linear tunnels littered with battles. In place of an in-depth, strategic combat system we were given a stripped-down, automated jumble of nonsubstantial flash. Instead of memorable characters and storylines, Final Fantasy XIII’s narrative unfolded with all the grace and prose of a second-tier anime program.

Suffice to say, I hate the game a lot. Sure, I may not have ever even reached Gran Pulse, but I doubt it would magically change my opinion. Given the number of rich, epic RPGs that have been released this generation (Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Fallout and Lost Odyssey to name a few) it’s painful – and comical – to see Final Fantasy, the former king, descend into such a pit of shallow, style-obsessed mediocrity.

Runner Up: Alan Wake

I wish I could have loved Alan Wake as much as many people did. But, while I enjoyed the game a fair bit, as my review indicates, I just couldn’t help feeling disappointed. I certainly didn’t have the same elated expectations that I had for XIII, but I still was looking for just a little more than the game ended up delivering: gameplay that was fun, but ultimately repetitive and far too easy, and a storyline that was far too unfocused and loosely written to truly be effective (or scary). Don’t get me wrong, it was good; but it should have been much better.

Alan Wake Review – Fear The Dark

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

LIKED:

-Solid combat mechanics

-Some intriguing storytelling

-Some impressive atmospheric moments

DISLIKED:

-Major lack of atmospheric focus

-Some awkward storytelling

-Repetitive gameplay

Alan Wake is a strange beast. Billed on its own boxart as a “psychological action thriller,” Alan Wake is a solid action/horror experience built on some solid gameplay mechanics. It tells a clever, twisting story that managed to hold my interest until the end. And, at its finest, it does garner some atmospheric merit. But while Alan Wake does many things well, it never manages to jump off the page in any meaningful way. The result is a game that is fun to play, but ultimately, rather unfulfilling. Read on, and I’ll explain.

STORY

Alan Wake often draws comparison to Quantic Dream’s interactive thriller, Heavy Rain. The only real reason for this is that both games share an emphasis on storytelling. Alan Wake is (or attempts to be) a psychological thriller, filled with all the mystery, intrigue, and plot twists that you’d expect. The premise is quite basic, and quite familiar: Alan Wake is a struggling writer, hoping to enjoy a quiet vacation with his wife, Alice Wake, in Bright Falls – a quaint (read: absurdly fucking creepy) little mountain town. Unfortunately for Mr. Wake, things go wrong mere moments after he checks into his cabin. Alice is assaulted and thrown into an icy lake to drown. Alan dives after her, but quickly blacks out. He wakes up a week later, with no memory of what’s occurred in the last seven days – the last thing he remembers is the drowning figure of his wife. From there, shit just gets crazy, for lack of a better phrase. Alan soon discovers that the events unfolding around him are the living manifestation of a novel he wrote – with himself as the main character.

I won’t discuss specifics any further. Credit must be given where it’s due: Alan Wake’s storytelling has some real merit. The concept is quite clever indeed, and it’s a mystery that’ll keep you guessing until the end. Unfortunately, though, as clever as the plot may be, the execution often falters. While playing Alan Wake, it’s difficult not to draw comparisons to several other comparable stories – Silent Hill, Shutter Island, The X-Files, Secret Window… the list could go on, frankly. It’s actually somewhat vexing, as is the game’s liberal use of tired, clichéd horror conventions. Sure, the horror genre is built on certain conventions, but Alan Wake seems to go out if its way to include each and every one of them. Creepy little resort town with a dark secret? Check. Old woman with cryptic, forboding words that come true later? Check. Missing wife? Check. Dudes with chainsaws? Check. Check, check, check, it’s all there. I promise.

Now, as we all know, a story doesn’t have to be particularly original in order to succeed. What matters most is how well it’s told. Are the characters robust? Is the pacing efficient? Is the scripting strong? Does it build a cohesive atmosphere? These are the questions to be asked, and when it comes to Alan Wake, the answer is “not quite.”

Alan Wake is an entertaining protagonist, and he’s characterized well during the game. However, he’s also the only character in the game that’s developed to any extent. Nobody else is given any meaningful attention, and that includes Alice, Alan’s missing wife. It’s kinda difficult to give a damn about her, or her grim fate, because the game devotes absolutely no screen time to her.

Something that really annoyed me throughout Alan Wake was the absurd amount of pseudo-foreshadowing that never paid off, and never made sense. I’m referring mainly to the radio and TV transmissions that you can listen to/view during the course of the game. On the radio, you’ll usually hear an excerpt from some talk show, and the subject matter is so vague and pointless that you can’t even tell if it’s even supposed to be foreshadowing. On TV, you’re generally treated to scattered episodes of a horror show called Night Springs. Obviously an homage to The Twilight Zone, the show always tells the tale of something weird and supernatural. But again, while it’s clearly supposed to provide some sort of insight or foreshadowing, it’s never clear what that is. I spent an substantial amount of time during Alan Wake standing still, watching TV or listening to the radio. And, after beating the game, I’m still not sure why.

The most damning flaw, though, is this: Alan Wake gravely suffers from a lack of focus when it comes to setting and atmosphere. The game can never quite decide if it wants to be a Silent Hill-esque psychological thriller or an X-Filesy supernatural action flick. One moment, you’re walking through the woods, shrouded in darkness, flinching at every sound. The next, you’re cruising around in one of the game’s several bizarre vehicular sequences, mowing down zombies in a way that’d make Woody Harrelson proud. The next, you’re having epileptic visions of futuristic space-men in makeshift Big Daddy costumes. (I’m being dead serious.) What this grab-bag of plot elements does is ensure that Alan Wake never manages to reach the level of atmospheric genius that it occasionally teases. Also, as you can probably gather, a lot of it is simply ridiculous in its own right. I rolled my eyes more than a few times.

Don’t get me wrong: Alan Wake is an entertaining yarn. But for every clever twist or shocking revelation, there’s an equally stupid tangent or senseless revelation to make sure the story never reaches the level of narrative mastery it strives for.

GAMEPLAY

The storytelling may be all over the map, but Alan Wake’s gameplay is based on some very simple, very solid mechanics that make it an oddly fun game to play.

Gameplay is straightforward enough. You make your way through dark, creepy environments with a both a flashlight and a weapon in hand. Creepy shadows known as Taken attack you often, and in order to defeat them, you must first focus your light on them, and then shoot them.

Alan Wake is oddly combat-intensive. At times, you’re up against close to a dozen enemies at once – and your arsenal of weaponry can become quite robust. Pistols, flare guns, shotguns, and flashbangs make for some explosive combat sequences. It’s an odd thing; these bombastic combat sequences seem rather out-of-place in a survival-horror game, and yet, they’re some of the strongest moments Alan Wake has to offer. Taking down a hoard of Taken with an assortment of flashbangs and bullets can be extremely satisfying indeed.

But, while blowing away zombies is well and good, Alan Wake is missing that crucial element of helplessness. Simply put, the game far overpowers you, and because of this, it’s just not that scary. In a good survival-horror experience, the emphasis should be on conservation and survival. Bullets should be scarce, enemies should be overpowering, and there should be a constant, gnawing sense that death is close at hand. In Alan Wake, you don’t get that feeling, because you spend 90 percent of the game decked out like a nerdy Rambo. Ammo is absurdly plentiful; I can recall one, and only one instance, in which I actually ran out. And, while you’d think the addition of a flashlight would only make resource management more of a challenge, I never ran out of batteries. Ever. Probably because the damn things recharge, for whatever reason. (Not even the Energizer Bunny can do that, Remedy.) I found many creative ways to slay zombies in Alan Wake; but I never once feared for my life.

Alan Wake’s gameplay also suffers in that it tends to be quite repetitive. Mission variety is sorely lacking; rarely is there an objective aside from “travel from point A to point B.” And it’s the same every time – walking down dark path, pausing to slaughter the occasional hoard of Taken, and then resuming dark path-walking. Occasionally you might have to power a generator or open a gate, but that’s about it. There are a few notable exceptions – Alan’s escape from a mental institution comes to mind, as does a very tense gameplay segment involving bear traps. But, overall, Alan Wake tends to be a very repetitive – and thus, predictable – experience.

Alan Wake is a fun game to play. Combat is satisfying, and the night-shrouded environments are fun to explore. But, as a survival-horror experience, it just doesn’t work. Unless you have a serious aversion to the dark, Alan Wake probably won’t scare you in the least.

GRAPHICS

Alan Wake looks really good in motion. In-game environments are gorgeous. Sure, they’re all dark and shadowy, but Alan Wake makes the night look both beautiful and unsettling. Most of the time, your path is illuminated only by the flashlight you carry, and the effect is really quite mesmerizing. By necessity, the lighting effects of the game are flawless. The beam from your flashlight behaves with remarkable realism. Dramatic lighting effects such as the glow from flares lights up the screen in a spectacular fashion.

Alan Wake has a lot of technical wizardry behind its in-game graphics; unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the cinematics. Alan Wake has a lot of cinematics, and by modern standards, they’re pretty damn ugly. Character models are washed-out, low-poly, and poorly detailed. Animations – particularly facial animations – are absolutely laughable, and really detract from some of the dialog scenes. Also, for whatever reason, many of the cinematics suffer from dramatic artifacting.

In short, Alan Wake looks good during gameplay. Once the cinematics start rolling, things get ugly.

SOUND

Alan Wake really could have benefited from a more intricate sound design. It’s hard not to recall 2008’s Dead Space, and its masterful use of sound to build its atmosphere. Alan Wake has no such mastery in its sound design; in fact, none of it really stands out. On top of that, the voice acting isn’t particularly strong, and the music is mostly forgettable. None of it is bad – it’s just regrettably mediocre.

CONCLUSION

Alan Wake is frustratingly middle-of-the-road. It’s a solid, but unamazing interactive experience that always feels like it’s on the edge of brilliance. But, strive as it may to reach that goal, it’s hindered by a lack of focus, and an inability to break the mold in all but the smallest of ways. The game is a classic example of a missed opportunity for greatness, as well as an example of undeserved over-hype. The ending to the game implies that sequels could follow, and I’d really like to see Remedy take another crack at things – but, sadly, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Alan Wake - 7.5/10

Scatter Storming. Issue #031

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

We finally made it, guys! Issue 31! What a big deal. Anyway, I’m tired, so let me write some other words.

Super Mario Galaxy 2? More like Super Mario Galaxy Moo! Amirite?! -
So I beat the final boss and am up to about 105 stars. I’m going to get 120 before penning the review, but it’ll definitely be up this week. Spoilers: I think the game fucking rocks.

More like Brave SHMOREY! -
I’ve been playing Brave Story instead of Lunar on the PSP. Why? I’m not quite sure, I think Lunar is the better game. But Brave Story is charming and perhaps easier to play in smaller doses because I care less about the story.

More like PITTER PUNCH! -
Forgive me, I’m tired and delirious. I downloaded Critter Crunch on the PSN and played it instead of Alan Wake last week. WORTH IT! The game is beautifully hand-drawn and absolutely addictive. It’s often funny too. I like that the PSN and XBLA are really coming into their own with fun, stylish, little games that are priced in stark contrast to retail titles (Critter Crunch cost me $7).

Gimme Da Red Dead –
Yup, I want it. I’m not really a GTA guy, but something about Red Dead has me intrigued. I wasn’t sold on Alan Wake, and I might be retracing my steps with BlazBlue, so I’m sensing a trade-in. Both Riddles and I almost regret our choice for Alan Wake over Red Dead last week, so maybe we’ll see REDEMPTION next week? Enh? ENH?! I’m a fucking genius.

I’m out of material, so let’s post more memes of Riddles -
Now you can too! Just click here to download the template and we can all laugh at Riddles together in new and exciting ways! Here are just some examples. Click on the picture for a bigger version. E-mail your versions to ethos@riddlethos.com!

Scatter Storming. Issue #030

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Oh MAN, you wouldn’t believe the shitty shit shit I just had to sit through. I went to see a variety show of comedy that my friends were opening. They were great, knocked it out of the park, and I decided to stay for another act, and oh JEEZ. I’m going to have to start my Scatter Storming this story is so insane.

In which Ethos needs to let a traumatizing experience out of his system -
There are some terrible things that are so bad they’re good. Some awkward moments that actually relieve tension. This evening, ladies and gentlemen, I witnessed an amateur performance so bad that it out terrible’d terrible.

It all started with the worst MC in the history of history. He was awkward and quiet and mumbling. I was so excited for his drawn-out introduction to be over because it would mean the dawn of a new act and I could stop wishing I was elsewhere. If only I knew how badly I’d be begging for the return of that MC, because out stepped that kid. Y’know, that kid in high school that thought he was your best friend after you were the first person not to tell him to fuck off. He’d follow you around the school and invite you over to his house to let his mom make you grilled cheese while you watched Star Trek reruns squished into a couch so small that it felt like it was designed for an eighth of a dwarf. That guy came out to start a stand-up act. But if only it was a stand-up act. It took him 4 minutes to even start talking. He thought it was hilarious to take his fucking time with everything. Setting up meticulously slowly as if an Andy Kaufman impression. A REALLY REALLY BAD impression. It was painful to watch. But then he spoke. He was doing character stand-up. Not always a bad thing, and I thought it kinda half-worked half the time, although he had no charisma or comedic timing. But then he went from stand-up routine into a half-lecture about the circular nature of time. It was as if he had just heard a first-year philosophy lecture and thought he was top-shit with his “brand new” ideas. But we’re not done yet…

Oh no, after Awkward McPretentious (let’s just call him Larry here on out) confused and bored his audience with dime-store philosophy, he proceeded to ask his viewers to raise their hands if they were scared of the future. The ones who did (I absolutely refused to participate regardless of my feelings) were asked to come to the front of the stage. Then he slapped each one on the head and called them stupid. HILARIOUS, RIGHT?! Jesus fuck, then he went back to the cyclical nature of time, warning everybody that we would be living with cavemen in the near future. Which of course led to talk of an experiment he had been working on for years.

Now, let me pause for a minute to let you all know that even if I’m making no sense to any of you, I can promise that Larry was taking 17 times as long and being 39 times less coherent than I am in my recounting.

I'd rather watch Master of Disguise again

Anyway, Larry proceeded to baffle and anger us all with nonsensical talk of some caveman specimen he had been growing inside an artichoke. “Okay,” I thought “he’s going to pull out an artichoke”. Fine, anything to distract from the abortion I was sitting through. But no, somehow Larry had wrangled somebody to dress up like a fucking artichoke and enter the room while making barbaric growling noises. Larry then asked any willing audience members to line up and start plucking from the artichoke to begin the birthing process.

Seriously, what the fuck?! Are you reading what I’m typing?! THIS ACTUALLY JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!

At this point, it was too late to leave. There was (somehow) a line forming, and escape was no longer rude but increasingly impossible. But then would have been a better time than when the caveman was finally undressed from the artichoke. And I don’t use the word “undressed” lightly as there was now a mostly-naked man acting like a beagle and crawling around the audience sniffing crotches and licking feet while Larry somehow still droned on about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Nobody had chuckled in nearly 10 minutes, and the thing had gone from embarrassing stand-up to spectacularly awful performance art.

Then, as if the Gods of Awkward were concentrating all their hate on this small theatre, Larry revealed that the artichoke leaves had messages on them and that the audience members who peeled them off the caveman should read the messages out loud. Not only do I hate audience participation (I’m there for a fucking SHOW, don’t make ME entertain YOU), but these messages weren’t even close to comedic. They were the most indulgent existentialist-fapping clusterfucks of NOTHING I’ve ever heard in my life. And I took film in high school.

Anyway, then after some more really awkward acting, the caveman ended up on stage with Larry, and then the honey came out. Yup, the mother fucking cuntwipe took honey out of his bag and started pouring it all over his artichoke cavebaby. Then he stuck bread to the honey. Then he took a FULL-FLEDGED CHICKEN (cooked, thankfully) out and fed it to the half-naked dog-cavemen.

I am seriously not making an ounce of this up. Then the terrible performance art turned into a sort of one-act play in which the caveman gained the ability to speak and had a conversation with Larry that resembled the worst of any final boss dialogue scenes of a JRPG.

I wish it didn’t get any worse, but it did. Larry took off his suit and started fighting the caveman for the chicken and then they broke out into song. I was expecting 15 minutes of awkward stand-up and I got 40 minutes of utter and complete bullshit.

I tore RIGHT out of there not daring to give another act a chance. I’m still shaking from the trauma. Anyway, about Alan Wake.

Right, games -
Riddles got it right below. Alan Wake is really cool and a lot of fun to play. I also appreciate that Alan is not an instant badass. He feels like an actual human being and that adds to the atmosphere and feeling of vulnerability. I’m also more easily scared than Riddles, and great sound design coupled with a spooky eye in an in-game TV was enough to make me on edge for the entirety of my play session.

But unlike old Ethos, I actually enjoyed the fright. The foreshadowing was really cool, and it was nice to have an X-Files-esque style of the paranormal co-existing with the normal without any additional explanation needed. Bright Falls is a fucked up town, and it’s barely a reprieve from the creepy and dangerous night sections.

Like Riddles, I am completely unimpressed with the animations and lip-syncing during cutscenes. I actually like Alan’s voice work, but his wife is pretty bad, and the scenes are a little tough to watch at spots because of the awkward movement of the characters. Still, the mood is great, and during the action nighttime spots, the game looks great. Really cool lighting and shadow effects make the enemies look extra spooky, and light feel extra powerful. Anyway, I’m not far in, but I am impressed. I like that there’s no easy comparison to any other game.

Star Ocean got more interesting -
The battle system is really deep. But it also involves skill and I just want a RPG to sleepily grind while I fall asleep, so we’ll see how much I play of it.

Happy Birthday, Kaypoe! -
It’s Kaypoe’s birthday today, so I featured him on the cover. Feel free to follow him on Twitter.

Well that’s it. That Larry story really took it out of me. Goodnight all!

Scatter Storming coming tomorrow

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

With Alan Wake impressions and all. Tuesday/Wednesday work days take it out of me.
Here’s a preview:
Alan Wake is really fucking cool, plays well, is scary (for me), and has terrible animations and lip-syncing. Truly awful.

Alan Wake: The First Night

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

So yeah, I started Alan Wake! After penning that massive HLL you see below, I promptly drove across the street to my local GameStop, snagged my copy, and returned home to play. (Man, I love living across the street from a GameStop.)

Actually, my first play session was reduced to 45 minutes. Why? Because Lost came on. And Charlie watches it religiously. (But hey, what Lost fan doesn’t?)

Since then, though, I’ve put in a sizable chunk of gametime. Enough to say that yes, I like Alan Wake. I haven’t been blown away quite yet, but I’m imagining that things only get better from here.

One of the first things you’ll notice when starting Alan Wake is how awkwardly Alan himself controls. He doesn’t move with ease like a typical videogame protagonist; he stumbles, gets tired, and moves with a general awkwardness that adds a distinct realism to the gameplay. Every action, from jumping a fence to firing a gun, feels as if it’s being performed by an actual human, rather than an action hero. This makes combat scenarios tense, and very challenging – if you’re not careful, you’ll be quickly killed.

But, while I’ve had some tense moments, I haven’t really been scared yet. This might be because the game’s initial hours spend so much time setting up the story. Alan Wake is a very plot-intensive game, which isn’t a bad thing – so far, it’s all fairly interesting. The dialog strays toward the melodramatic often, but given the nature of the game – it’s essentially meant to read like a novel – it’s forgivable. The voice acting is solid,though perhaps not as solid as it should be for a game with so much dialog.

Graphically, the game is a bit of a mixed bag. The real-time game environments actually look quite good; there’s some real artistry behind the visuals of Alan Wake. Environments are generally shrouded with darkness, with only your tiny flashlight to illuminate the path. It’s all suitably eerie, atmospheric, and oddly beautiful.

However, aside from the in-game visuals, Alan Wake tends to be pretty ugly. Character models during cutscenes don’t look particularly detailed, and facial animations are generally awful. The only exception from this rule is Alan Wake himself, and even he doesn’t look impressive. Heavy Rain, this is not.

I really don’t feel that I’ve played enough of Alan Wake to form a real opinion on it. It’s clear that there’s complex mystery to be unfolded over the course of the game, and in the opening hours I’ve barely scratched the surface. But as I said, I’m enjoying it quite a bit so far.

Later tonight, a certain Ethos should be posting his thoughts on the game in the form of a Scatter Storming. Look for it! And look for more of my thoughts on the game later this week.

-Riddles

Alan Wake Get!

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Woo-hoo! It feels great purchasing a game solely for Riddlethos purposes. I didn’t have to pay for God of War III or Spirit Tracks, and Mass Effect 2, Pokémon SoulSilver, and Final Fantasy XIII would be for-sure purchases anyway. In fact, I don’t think a Riddlethos theme week has influenced a gaming purchase since Dragon Age. That, my friends, is far too long. I hope Mr. Wake is worth peeing my pants in fear over!

Don't mind the rundown in the background. I'm at work.

Welcome to Alan Wake Week

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Well, um. It’s been a while, eh?

Allow me to sincerely apologize for last week. There were, ah, extenuating circumstances that kept me away from any and all Riddlethos duties. If you were disappointed, all I can tell you is that I was disappointed as well.

Anyway, the plan is to get back on track this week with the long-anticipated release of Alan Wake! I’m actually pretty excited for Wake, which is odd, because I haven’t actually been following the game all that closely. But, perhaps my relative lack of knowledge on the game is part of the reason why I’m excited – I have absolutely no idea what to expect. And, I haven’t had a good videogame scare since Dead Space.

My new sleep schedule, unfortunately, will prevent me from picking up the game at midnight. But, I’ll be grabbing it as soon as I’m off work tomorrow, and going straight home to give it a spin. Hopefully the fact that I didn’t pre-order it won’t be a hindrance.

That’s all I got for now, I suppose. I’m excited to be back, and to be playing a new game. I am not, on the other hand, excited about waking up at 6 a.m.

Goodnight, all!

-Riddles

Hey! Look! Listen!

Friday, February 12th, 2010

HLLfinal

BioShock 2 and the makings of a flu virus may have kept Hey! Look! Listen! at bay earlier in the week, but the Friday edition is now present and accounted for.

For what it’s worth, anyway. Unless you’re a Microsoft fanboy, this week hasn’t seen many interesting announcements or news items. If you are a Microsoft fanboy, it might be worth it to check out coverage of the recent X10 event, which includes first looks at both Hal0: Reach and Fable III.

Unfortunately, I don’t really care about either of those franchises. Nonetheless, let us press onward and see what we have.

Halo: Reach Impressions Hit the Interwebs

It’s weird, but I actually read 1UP and IGN’s impressions for the recently-displayed Halo: Reach, and I was intrigued. I’ve never really enjoyed a Halo game before, but with Reach it sounds like Bungie is pulling out all the stops. Good on them, since it will (supposedly) be the final Bungie-developed Halo title. Read IGN’s impressions here and 1UP’s here.

New God of War III Trailer Brutalizes the Interwebs

And it’s everything you’d expect from a God of War trailer, I’ll say that much. Badass dialog, badass fight scenes, badass music, all made more badass by the graphical power of the PlayStation 3. I really should get around to finishing God of War II sometime.

By the way, God of War III has been reviewed by the UK’s Official PlayStation Magazine. They gave it a 9/10, and apparently it only missed a 10/10 due to the “familiarity of the core gameplay.”

“But it’s definitely the biggest,” says reviewer Nathan Ditum,  ”and if this is the finale (and the corpses littering the stage by the end of the game suggest it might be), then God of War III gives PlayStation’s toughest hero the send-off he deserves.”

Sweet. (VG247)

Alan Wake Boxart Amuses the Interwebs

Alan Wake is the only 360 exclusive to pique my interest in some time. But then, how could it not? It’s a Psychological Action Thriller!alanwakeboxart

Alan Wake Trailer Mystifies the Interwebs

Seriously, though, Alan Wake looks pretty damn good. This new trailer from the aforemention X10 event proves it.

And… we’re done! Man, what a boring news week. I guess everyone’s been too busy playing BioShock 2 to make any big announcements, or do anything newsworthy. But hey, who can blame them? Not I, not I.

’till next time, readers. Look for something from me tomorrow.