Christ. What another lazy goddamned Saturday.
It’s probably just because I’m unemployed, but this whole Lazy Saturdays thing has become sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ever since I started it as a feature, every Saturday has been a dull, droll, and mindless affair. Usually involving me sitting at my apartment. By myself. Such is life, though; or, at least, such is the life of Oliver “Riddles” Motok.
I saw Iron Man 2 a few days ago. I don’t actually, uh… remember much about it, but I seem to remember liking it. Not as much as the original, perhaps, but it was an enjoyable experience. Definitely check it out if you’re an Iron Man fan.
Oh yeah, and I watched Aladdin yesterday! In HD! For the first time in years! God, that movie is timeless. It’s also one of the few good things Robin Williams has ever done with his life.
Ubisoft Bitches About an 81% Metacritic Ranking for Red Steel 2 – Sometimes, I really hate numerical review scores, and this is one of the reasons why. Gamers, media outlets, and publishers alike have all gotten spoiled. Really fucking spoiled, in fact, as evidenced by this statement from Ubisoft’s Jason Vandenberghe:
Let’s start here: if you clicked that Metacritic link back there, you know that (as of this writing) our average rating is hanging out at a solid 81%. Anyone in the industry will tell you: that doesn’t suck, but it ain’t the bestest ever. It’s the kind of number you need to be in the running for serious sales, and given the nature of the market we are releasing into, etc, blah blah blah, it’s pretty darn acceptable, but of course you always hope for more. It’s what Metacritic calls “generally favorable reviews”, but it’s closer to “mixed” than we’d prefer.
Ingrates. They’re all ingrates. Why is it that these days, a game has to score a 90% percent or higher to be considered worthy of a shit? I feel like it’s a trend that’s come along with the current console generation. 81%, for all intents and purposes, is an excellent aggregate ranking, especially when you consider the fact that the original Red Steel was flat-out panned by the gaming press. Grow the fuck up, Ubisoft. And everyone else.
Are You an Apple Fanboy? Well, You Can At Last Have True Love - I’m gonna go ahead and chalk this up as a solid 8.1 on my weird-shit-o-meter. (Cookies for whoever catches the reference.) This summer will see the launch of a dating site called Cupidtino. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear “Cupidtino?” Latina women, of course. Or men, I suppose. But no. Cupidtino is a dating site designed for Apple fanatics. Here’s the site in a nutshell, according to “Mel,” one of its co-founders:
Essentially we’re hoping to do to dating sites what the iPhone did for smartphones. We want to create a simple, clean, uncluttered and Apple-esque experience. The profile page will not only show your typical “dating” features, but also highlight your Apple-ness – things like “when did you become a Mac?” and icons for the Apple products you own. We’re also thinking about an AppStore like “approval process” for profiles, which will require that your main photo must be posed with an Apple product or in an Apple retail store.
Sound… creepy to you? Yeah, me too.
Check Out this Trailer for Enslaved: Odyssey to the West – It’s no secret that I’ve been intrigued by this game. And I gotta say, this first trailer doesn’t disappoint. Lots of gameplay, showing off combat, platforming, and Ico-esque partner mechanics. Really neat stuff.
Wow, sorry, this is much later than I anticipated. I got, uh, distracted for a while. My lazy Saturday is suddenly not so lazy. Unfortunately, though, I’m exhausted. Because… in the last 60 hours or so, I’ve slept for 8.