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Ethos and Riddles talk about video games...
            Can you handle it?
by Ethos

Hey!

Monday, March 11th, 2013

Why do people still comment on this site? Are their lives truly that sad?

More importantly, though, why do my feet smell like actual cheese?

Sorry, that was completely disgusting and I realize that. I just don’t know how to shock you people anymore.

Anyway, happy Monday I guess. I hope yours is less grey and rainy than mine. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but this is the first day off I’ve had in twelve days or something and it just feels like a depressing “fuck you” from the universe.

It probably is. The universe is a dick like that. Speaking of dicks:

I love this website. Still.

But stick around for a sec and let me give you an extremely detailed review of something I don’t like.

Review: 7 Day, 60+ Hour Work Weeks

They suck.

Now here’s something that I do like, but wish that I didn’t:

Yeahyeah, we’ve all been here before. A few months into the year and Ubisoft hits us with a beautiful new CG short film featuring some guy in a white hoodie stabbing people. Last year they had the whole American Revolution setting on their side, but what could they possibly-

PIRATES!

PIRATES AND DOUBLE SWORDS!

AND TITTIES!

I’m going to buy Assassin’s Creed IV and I hate myself and Ubisoft endlessly because of this fact. I’m still not even sure if I liked Assassin’s Creed III, but I sunk more hours into that game than I have since… the last Assassin’s Creed game. And one thing that can’t be taken away from AC3: the naval battle sections were pretty fucking epic. Not perfect, but close enough. And nobody had done it before. Now, they’re making a whole game based around it.

Assassin’s Creed meets Wind Waker plus epic ship battles? Fuck, I’m literally making myself excited as I write this.

Here’s the question though: will the PS3 version suck, or will the PS4 version be gimped?

Or both?

Oh, and speaking of Assassin’s Creed:

Silly Danish. The Damascus Skyline probably looks a little different now than it did 700+ years ago. Then again, I don’t know. I’ve never been there.

I’m starting to wonder how, exactly, people acquired their images before Google Image Search came along.

Alright motherfuckers. It’s not only my first day off in eight years, it’s Mike Babasick’s birthday and he just walked in the door.

I’M GETTING DRUNK TONIGHT FUCK IT

~Riddles