It would appear we have something of a slow week on our hands at Riddlethos.com, no doubt spilling over from our slow weekend. Somewhat disappointing, perhaps, but what can be done? I’ve been trying my best to finish Assassin’s Creed II, but I can’t seem to stay on track. The temptation to run around and entertain yourself with the game’s ENDLESS side-missions is too great! I don’t know how Nate Liles found the time to beat it already. Ethos? He doesn’t even play videogames.

In any case, it’s time to shake things up a little around here. Roll film!

Assassin’s Creed II Sells Almost Two Million

I am hardly the only one faffing about in Ubisoft’s critically acclaimed actioner. The company announced today that in one week, Assassin’s Creed II sold over 1.6 million copies. That’s a 32 percent increase over first-week sales of the original Assassin’s Creed, which launched back in November of 2007.

For the hell of it, Ubisoft also re-iterated the fact that the original Assassin’s Creed remains the fastest-selling new videogame property of all time. Not sure why that’s relevant now, but hey, they’re entitled to some horn-blowing, I guess. Check out my impressions of Assassin’s Creed II right here, and check back SOMETIME this week for a full review. (IGN).

Diablo III Won’t See the Light in 2010

No, I didn’t mean 2009, I meant 2010. The sad fact of the matter is that if you’re a Diablo fan, you’ll be waiting a long damn time for the third installment.

“We always announce all of our games too early,” said Blizzard’s executive president of game design Rob Pardo. “We realize that and go, ‘You know what? Next time we’re not going to do that.’ And then we always fail at that. But I’d rather fail at that than fail at making the game great. I think it’s safe to say that, yeah, [Diablo III] is not going to be out next year.”

Bummer. I actually spent a decent amount of time with the original Diablo. If it was anything but a PC game, I might have finished it. Diablo II I installed and never played. As for Diablo III? Not sure if it’s a planned purchase or not. Sounds like I have plenty of time to think about it, though. (1UP).

Bayonetta Demo Coming December 3

Bayonetta looks like something that just screams to be tried firsthand, and we lucky residents of North America will be able to do just that on December 3. The demo will be released on both Xbox Live and PlayStation Network, and will likely be unchanged from its Japanese counterpart. The PSN Demo gives players access to the Tutorial and Angel’s Metropolis levels, while the Xbox Live demo will have those two plus the Falling Clock Tower level.

Sounds like favoritism, now doesn’t it? But then, it shouldn’t be too surprising, since the PS3 version has already been universally lambasted for looking and running decidedly shittier than the Xbox 360 version. Sega supposedly plans to release a patch that will, at the very least, address the PS3 version’s long load times. Regardless, it sounds like this is one multiplatform game that I’ll be purchasing for the Xbox 360. Bayonetta will be released in North American and Europe on January 5. (1UP).

Microsoft Faces Possible Class-Action Lawsuit over XBL Bans

Well, this is rich. You’ve probably caught wind of the massive Microsoft banhammer that came down on Xbox Live a few weeks ago. Well, needless to say, it pissed a lot of people off, and it’s even caught the attention of a law firm.  Abington IP claims that they’re considering filing a class-action suite against Microsoft, and they’re attempting to rally all those who were banned to their cause. What legal feet do they have to stand on? None, as far as I can see, but Abington IP claims that Microsoft “conveniently timed the Xbox console ban to coincide with the release of the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 game and less than two months after the release of the very popular Halo: ODST game.”

The idea, in case you’re confused, is that Microsoft intentionally banned a lot of people around a time when many, many gamers would want an Xbox Live Subscription – and if you’ve been freshly banned, the only choice you have is to buy another one.

What does Microsoft think of it? Not a whole lot, as it were:

“Piracy is illegal and modifying an Xbox 360 is a violation of the Xbox Live Terms of Use,” a spokesperson said to Financial Post  ”Microsoft is well within its legal rights to ban these users from Xbox Live.”

Yeah, that’s more or less how it sounds to me. I doubt we’ll see this one go anywhere, frankly. (Financial Post, via 1UP).

Watch the Introductory Scene of Spirit Tracks

Egads! Spoilers! Nah, it really doesn’t spoil a whole lot, but it’s undeniably Zelda. Cookie-cutter-ish and simplistic as it may be, this video actually brought back some fond, Zelda-related feelings of magic and… warmth. Anyway. Watch the video below if you so desire.

I Don’t Understand This Video, so I’m Hoping You Will

Yeah.

Anyways… um. Yeah.

And that’s all for tonight, ladies and gents! Hope you enjoyed yourself, and please, someone go become a fan of our Facebook page. We only need one more fan to hit 100, and it’s just killing me that we haven’t gotten it yet. If you haven’t already, then just help a brother out and… go become a fan.

If you have a Facebook, that is.

And if you don’t have a Facebook, get one, and then become a fan. Because seriously, who doesn’t have Facebook these days?