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by Ethos

Best Riddlethos of 2010 – Best of King Ethos

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

And here we are! It’s 12:53 a.m. here in Murfreesboro, TN and I’ve finally completed my carefully-sifted list of the 10 best Ethos posts from 2010.

Originally, I just wrote down the different sections in no particular order, with the intent to assemble them in order afterwards.

But, after writing this all down, I can’t actually decide which is my favorite. Also, I like the way it currently flows, and I don’t really want to fuck with that. So, instead of trying to assign random ranks: here’s my ten favorite Ethos posts of 2010, in no particular order!

Ethos when he was young and (even more) naive.

Life at the Dawn of the Waggle: The Embarrassing Optimisim

Ah. I love this one.

As you all well know, Ethan isn’t one for admitting he’s wrong. Even when he knows it. And, knowing that fact makes this particular article a delicious read, because it’s borderline purgatory on his part. Purgatory for having his head in Nintendo’s carefully crafted clouds of bullshit for so many years. Finally, for the sake of himself and all others who might follow in his path, Ethos throws in the towel and officially renounces Nintendo and their travesty of a game system. If that’s not humbling enough, he even goes so far as to include several, highly embarrassing quotes from his younger, more naive days of full-blooded Nintendo fanboyism.

It’s weird to think he was there at one point. And that I was friends with him in spite. Oh well, I’d like to think I’m at least partially responsible for all the progress he’s made in that area.

Anyway, comedy aside, the article is an interesting analysis of the optimism that Ethan and many other gamers at the time held for the Wii before its launch. I’ll admit, even I didn’t hate the system at the time. I even waited for a solid extra month so I could buy and play Twilight Princess for Wii instead of GameCube.

Sunday Soapbox: Accepted Idiocy

Ethos’ first Sunday Soapbox was written not only immediately after finishing God of War II, but also mere days after my departure from Toronto after a glorious, 8-day visit. So, the article displays two different bitters in one. Or at least, that’s how I see it, for the sake of my own self-worth.

Anyway, Ethos doesn’t hate God of War II, but man, he sure does hate all of the pointless contextual button-mashing and Quick-Time Events. And he explains his hatred very clearly and efficiently. I gave one of his Scatter Stormings a nod for pure rage content, and I must point out here once again that it’s not often we get to see Ethan riled up. It’s cute. And  it’s not even a long read, at just over 500 words. And it even has some MS paint screens! Remember when he used to do those? Daww…

Sunday Soapbox: Seasons of Gaming

We all know that Ethan’s a bit of a fruitcake. His oddball, artsy mind views things a little differently from the rest of the pack and he draws connections and parallels between concepts and ideas that many people wouldn’t have defined in the first place.

But, as out-there as he might be, Ethan can still communicate his thoughts and ideas to the rest of us through fantastic editorials such as this one. In an article discussing videogames and their diversity, Ethan draws parallels between games and seasons. All in the spirit of Spring Awakening week, y’see. It’s a little scattered (Ha! Ha!), but it drives its point home well, and ends up making a lot of sense somehow. Sort of like Ethan himself. (What?)

Breaking News: Incredibly Shitty Banner

Ah god. This one. It’s so funny, yet when I laugh at it, I know I’m laughing at myself. Because, y’see, the post is an exaggerated way of saying, “YOU MADE A SHITTY BANNER, RIDDLES!”

Funny stuff, though. And entirely out of left field. If there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s that the funniest jokes are the ones you don’t see coming. That being the case, I think I can single this out as the single most humorous thing that was featured on Riddlethos during the year 2010. And it’s not only because it was unexpected – it’s overflowing with self-deprecating, tongue-in cheek, over-the-top goofball brilliance that, I’m proud to say, personifies the genius behind this entire site. Well done, Ethos. Well done.

Sunday Soapbox: Why Riddles Sucks

The back-and-forth banter between myself and Ethos is one of the core principles of Riddlethos.com. We hate on, bitch at, degrade, and humiliate eachother whenever the slightest opportunity presents itself, and by doing so we keep our egos high and our readers entertained.

So, obviously, it was a no-brainer to extrapolate the concept into the extreme with our grand April Fool’s gag that culminated in an entire not-so-subtle theme week and a zombified Ethos. (Amazingly, some people still thought we were being serious.)

Anyway. This post is what kicked it all off. I was the mastermind behind the concept, but Ethan improvised like a younger, sexier Rosie O’ Donnel. Or… something.

Ahem.

Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #004

If you already clicked the link, you’re probably wondering why in hell I picked this one. It’s a self-professed half-ass post from Ethos, sadly commemorating the first appearance of the pretty TTKL banner that I slaved* over for him.

The easy answer, of course, is that I’m so narcissistic that I love my website even when it fails. Even in the face of utter abortion and failure, my mind is equipped to perform whatever mental backflips are necessary to believe that we’re somehow awesome in spite. It’s a nice delusion to have, actually.

Ahem. What I mean to say is that it’s important we laugh at ourselves every so often. There’s something obscenely hilarious about this post, and in particular, about these two introductory paragraphs:

BOO-YA! Thank you Riddles for HLL-ifying my Tingle banner to officially make this your new Friday source of news at Riddlethos!

Yes, Riddles and I agreed that we should split the Hey! Look! Listen! job, but neither of us felt comfortable with me taking over directly. Therefore we came up with the perfect compromise: take my weird non-tangible barely-updated feature and make it the Ethos Friday news feature! Winning all around! Anyhoo, to kick things off right, I’ll half ass this and only give you one piece of old news!

It’s just… it’s because… he announces the change of policy, and hails the new banner with such enthusiasm. Or, at least, it seemed like enthusiasm. He then goes on to conscientiously half-ass his first column, and then… well, let’s just say, things never got a whole lot better for our ill-fated “Friday source of news at Riddlethos.”

God, I love that I’m singing praises to our failures.

Welcome to Heavy Rain Week

This is a quickie, but a goodie. As the saying goes. Is that a saying? That’s not actually a saying.

Still, this post cracked me up when I read it almost… a year ago (sobs) and it still cracks me up now. After the internet was subjected to the unfettered awesomeness of my Heavy Rain Week banner, Ethos was once again dejected by how much more skilled I am than he – and, additionally, he was filled with sorrow, because the post was written the day before I was forced to leave his home in Toronto after an eight-day visit. The result? Short, bittersweet hilarity.

My God

God damn, I love this post. I laugh so hard at it every time I look at it. No, seriously. Ethan is the resident master of picture-posts here at Riddlethos, and occasionally he uses them with a deftness unseen in the world of internet comedy. Like in this example. Not only is the picture hilarious, but the minimal dialog that accompanies it rockets this post to the top ten list with ease. And if that wasn’t enough, Darth Gibblet follows up by saying

Wow, I really need to stop checking this site before going to bed. Now that picture will haunt my nightmares, and I blame Riddles.

And if that wasn’t enough, SeventhCircle then chimed in, noting:

The “Riddles is a lazy fuck” tag has quite a few entries under it now.

Thanks for noticing, Glenn.

(I do love you though)

Spam Comment Roundup #003

I’d be remiss to write this list without mentioning Spam Comment Roundup. It’s a bit of a rare delicacy here at Riddlethos, but every time I read one, I laugh out loud. It’s a great concept, and Ethos pulls it off with ease and style.

Just remember, you must be logged in to save your lolz to your account.

Latarsha Dickensheets.

God, I hate February

Why? Mark Thunder, that’s why. I love Mark Thunder.

*”Slaved,” in this particular context, means “spent six entire minutes on”