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Ethos and Riddles talk about video games...
            Can you handle it?
by Ethos

Hey! Look! Listen!

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010


…ahh. So. He DID write a review. Or, so it would appear, at least.

Of course, the only reason I haven’t done so as well is because I can’t spare the time for a decidedly mediocre game like Final Fantasy XIII. Ethos, on the other hand, is consistently thrilled and amazed by all the mediocre things of the world. So good for him.

Anyway, I’m your host Oliver “Riddles” Motok, and for some odd reason, I’ve been playing a lot of Modern Warfare 2. I’m actually decent at it now, which is probably why I’m enjoying it so much. I’d totally buy the recently-released “Stimulus Package” DLC, if it was a) available for PS3 and b) cost less than $15. Seriously, fifteen bucks? Really, Activision? I know you’re a soulless machine that eats money (and children) to survive, but still. Fifteen bucks?

With that, let us proceed to the topics of interest.

First Dead Space 2 Footage Emerges from PAX East

Woo! I’m excited. I love Dead Space. I even loved Dead Space Extraction for the Wii. So, needless to say, I’m excited to see how the story will continue with Dead Space 2. The footage below was first demonstrated at PAX East, and GamerVision managed to catch it on camera. The quality is shitty, yes, but it’s the best thing we have so far, and the actual gameplay shown looks intriguing, if not mind-blowing. Jet boots do make everything better, though. It’s important to remember that.

gamestopSome Idiot Sues GameStop over Dragon Age DLC

Perhaps you’ve purchased BioWare’s self-proclaimed dark fantasy epic, Dragon Age? If so, you recall that the retail copy comes with a code for a free piece of DLC called “The Fury of Shale.” It’s a one-time redeemable code, meaning if you buy the game used, you likely won’t be able to redeem it yourself.

However, on the back of the box, it still says “Includes downloadable character and quest – $15 value.” ¬†OMG FALSE ADVERTISINGGGGG

Ahem. Long story short, James Collins found this out for himself, got pissed, tried to return the game for his money back, and was refused because it had been over seven days. The logical response? No, not go home and enjoy the massiveness of Dragon Age even without the stupid little piece of DLC. You dummy. Obviously, SUE GAMESTOP. From the suit:

“GameStop, who makes more than 20% of its revenue and nearly $2 billion from the sale of used video games, is aware of this issue, and continues to fail to alert customers that this content is not available on used games,” the suit states. “As a result, GameStop tricks consumers into paying more for a used game than they would if they purchased the same game and content new.”

Don’t believe me? Check out the full suit in PDF format here. (IGN)

So Who Else is Interested in Enslaved?

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is the next project from Ninja Theory, the developer behind the ill-fated PS3 exclusive, Heavenly Sword.

Now, from what I understand, Heavenly Sword wasn’t bad at all – I never played more than the demo, but I remember liking it, and I remember the game being fairly well-received. However, the game wasn’t profitable – at least, not to Ninja Theory. Co-founder Tameem Antoniades said so himself.

Unlike Heavenly Sword, Enslaved will be released on the PS3 and the Xbox 360. It’s set in a strangely beautiful post-apocalyptic world, and it features talent such as Andy Serkis of Lord of the Rings, and Alex Garland, the screenwriter for 28 Days Later. (aka, the only zombie movie in the world that Riddles likes.) Some pretty new screens were just released; click the sample below to visit Kotaku’s gallery.


Be Very Afraid: Ubisoft Trademarks “Horse Gaga.”


Unless this is somehow the work of the nefarious Nate Liles, it looks like Ubisoft has finally, officially lost it. First draconian DRM measures, and now trademarks that make absolutely no sense. On March 23, everyone’s favorite French publisher trademarked “Horse Gaga” for videogame titles. Furthermore, the next day, they registered the HorseGaga.com domain name.

What can come of this? Nothing good, that’s what. Nothing. Good. (Kotaku)

I Knew There Was a Reason I Avoid Used Electronics

I don’t buy secondhand electronics. That goes for consoles, portables, TVs, DVD players, PCs – anything you plug in, essentially, I do not buy used. Ever. I’ve had a few bad experiences in the past. Or, at least, I think I have – I can’t remember what they were, exactly. The point is that I only buy new electronics, and this story out of Evanston, Illinois justifies this habit.

Some poor fuck found a PS3 Slim on Craigslist for $250. He met the seller in the parking lot of a local Best Buy. The seller then proceeded to take his money, get back in the car, and drive away. No violence, no threats. Just a good, old-fashioned case of complete suckery.

There are two things about this that I find particularly hilarious. First, for fifty dollars more, he could have bought a brand-new PS3, complete with warranties, the assurance that you won’t get forcibly scammed. And, secondly, the irony is compounded by the fact that he could have purchased said PS3 at the Best Buy where he met the crooked seller. (Kotaku)

Hot Coffee“Hot Coffee” Payout Checks Are Being Sent

God, this brings back memories. It also stands as a testament to how very, very slow our litigous processes can be. I remember reading about the Hot Coffee scandal back in the day. It was one hell of a story for the game industry; one that really hasn’t been matched in terms of relevance or scale since.

Maybe some of you remember it, and maybe you don’t; essentially, a modder discovered a sex mini-game hidden in the code of the PC version of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. People flipped a shit, lawsuits flew, and Hilary Clinton used the controversy as an opportunity to begin the dark trend of politicians attempting to make names for themselves by attacking videogames.

Anyway. Nobody really cares about it anymore, if they ever actually cared about it then. But, in an attempt to “voluntarily fulfill all properly-submitted claims,” GTA publisher Take-Two has begun sending out payout checks with the amount of $5-$35. A sample golden ticket is shown below. (Kotaku)

I've got a golden tickeeetttt...

Well, that’s that. While I was typing this up, it looks like my jackass of a partner has written more defamatory bullshit about me. I guess that’s fairly typical, though; while I sit here doing actual work, he’s sitting in his pathetic little corner trying to bring me down to his level so he can feel better about himself.

Such a sad, sad man.

Hey! Look! Listen!

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Yum, stale tortilla chips and dip. I am living the good life here in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. At least I have beer, thanks to my good buddy Charlie. (That’s twice now that his name has managed to show up in a post.)

To be perfectly honest I had half a mind to go vegetate in front of Scrubs tonight instead of writing anything. But since I’ll be in hell at work all day tomorrow, I figured I’d throw the lot of you a bone now and save the relaxation time for tomorrow evening. Plus, there’s some pretty interesting stuff to report on today.

Just… make the announcement already.
Everyone freaking knows that the PS3 Slim is coming. For months now we’ve been subjected to a veritable deluge of rumors and info that have all but confirmed its existence. Still in doubt? Well get a load of this: According to Taiwan’s DigiTimes, Sony has recently placed some uncommonly large orders for key PS3 components. In other words, they’re looking to build a fuckton of PS3’s in the coming months. Wonder why…

If something sounds too good to be true…
…then it probably is. Happen to be a member of GameStop’s EDGE program? Y’know, pay ‘em $15 per year and you get 10% off all used games, an extra 10% credit on all trade-ins, plus a free subscription to Game Informer? Well, according to some recent customer surveys, they might be looking to replace it with a new program known as GameSpot Elite. Additionally, they’re rolling out another program called GameStop Rewards, which is pretty much how it sounds. Click here to read the survey. (Kotaku).

Read it yet? Yeah, how about that Reward Level 4, eh? An all-access pass to E3? For a MERE 501 POINTS??

I could blow $500 at GameStop in a very, VERY short time. So, like I said earlier, this has GOT to be too good to be true. And the idea of some nerdy spendthrift being sent to E3 while I sit here, (with my own FUCKING WEBSITE no less) forced to watch through the lense of the internet, fills me with rage.

This one is strong…
I’ve never actually played a game on the iPhone/iPod touch, but I’ve been watching the device’s evolution as a gaming platform with sincere interest. One thing’s for absolute certain at this point: if anyone is strong enough to step into the war zone of console gaming, it’s Apple. And with this analyst claiming that he’s been shown a new Apple multimedia device that will function as a game console, that step may not be far off. All in all, it sounds fairly legit; check out the full story here. (Develop-Online)

I should rephrase what I said earlier: while I’m fairly sure that such a device is being developed, I’m unsure if Apple plans to angle it as a “game console,” per se; at least, not any more so than the iPhone is. Frankly, I’m not even sure how they’d market the thing anyway. It’s too big to be a portable, and while I’m sure it would include the ability to connect to your television, it’s not a console either. So… we’ll just wait and see, I suppose.

And that’s that. Pray that Ethan finds the time and/or motivation to write something of substance tomorrow, because unless I have a major change of heart, you won’t be hearing from me.

And srsly, who DOESN’T know that Spider-Man includes the hyphen?