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by Ethos

Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #014 – STOLEN!!

Friday, September 17th, 2010

Oh lookit me! I’m Riddles! I’m gonna say that Ethos won’t write anything! Well fuck you! I’m going to steal that TGS Hey! Look! Listen! you promised. Bah-ha ha ha. Well, not every piece of big TGS news, just the stuff I care about.

Dear God, yes.

Team ICO Out the Ass: The Last Guardian Release Date

Finally we hear more about this ridiculously-anticipated title. People seem to be shocked that this was given a Holiday 2011 release window, but that comes as no surprise to me. In fact, that’s in the early range of what I was expecting, so count me as excited.

What’s that in the distance? Sounds like some sort of whistle. And now I see smoke? What could that possibly be…oh it’s the hype train! Full speed ahead!(IGN)

Team ICO Out the Ass: ICO and Shadow of the Collossus HD Collection!

BAH-HA HA HA HA HA AH! FINALLY! My life is complete! This long-rumoured collection is finally a reality. At first there was talk about it being two separate discs but has since been confirmed to be a single Blu-ray disc compete with trophies, the PAL ending for ICO, and even improved framerates, textures, and new widescreen framing. This collection is why humanity was created. (IGN)

Team ICO Out the Ass: Sexism Battle!

Remember when Miyamata joked about Peach not being playable in Super Mario Bros Wii because they would have to animate her dress? Remember when we all puked? Well as excited-out-my-ass as I am for The Last Guardian, studio head, Fumito Ueda was talking at TGS and even if his comments were meant as a joke, I still cringed.

He mentioned that the original protagonist for The Last Guardian was going to be female but because girls wouldn’t have the same physical strength as boys when traversing the environment, and “girls wear skirts”, they changed it to a boy.

Yeah, bullshit. I know that scientifically, the anatomy of men and women are different and strength arguments are occasionally valid. Like separating sports in the Olympics. But I don’t think it would have been unreasonable for a little girl to accomplish the same tasks as a little boy. That doesn’t sit well with me. And yeah, girls couldn’t wear Peter Pan-style capri shorts. That would seem weird. Fuck off. (IGN)

Muramasa and Odin Sphere Heavily Rumoured To Also Go HD

Sweet. This doesn’t appear to be a HD collection for PS3, but rather downloadable HD ports for all capable systems. Apparently Muramasa’s assets were developed in HD, so the process should be rather simple for that title at least.

I just hope the framerate is improved for Odin Sphere. I liked that game, but it was literally like a slide-show at points. That will need to be better for me to pick it up. (1up)

Unaltered picture of Bobby Kotick. Thanks Destructoid.

Idiot

Ugh. Just when you thought Activision and Blizzard’s marriage wasn’t affecting the Blizzard side of things, Bobby Kotick goes off and starts spewing more of his famous shit about packing together all the cutscenes of
Starcraft 2 and selling it as a movie. Idiot. Seriously.

I mean, Starcraft 2 was just his example, but he talks about this idea like it’s the most brilliant shit in the history of time. Who the fuck would spend $20-$30 to watch all the cutscenes of a game? Certainly not the people who bought the game, and certainly not the people who didn’t buy the game.

There are reasons that these cutscenes are cutscenes. If you bought one of these “movies”, there would be major plot holes, it would all be high-intensity, and – oh yeah – THERE WOULD BE NO FUCKING GAME TO PLAY!

What a giant fucking idiot. (IGN)

That’s it.

Chalk up another win for Ethos.

“I Need A Cigarette” – Love Story Hits Countdown: #3

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Back again, to once again, end the day on a positive note. One of my favorite couplings from one of my favorite games; let’s talk about Ico and the young princess Yorda. (Beware of spoilers, by the by.)

They have nothing but eachother...

They have nothing but eachother...


#3 Best Video Game Romance: Ico and Yorda
Like Shadow of the Colossus, Ico is one of the last generation’s definitive experiences. Most, if not all of the game mechanics have been done again and done better at this point, but unlike all that came after it, Ico’s mood and atmosphere is not to be forgotten. While it doesn’t quite reach the majestic levels seen in Shadow of the Colossus, the lonely, forboding mood presented in Ico is done beautifully.

The main focus of the game’s puzzles is helping the young, mysterious Yorda through the island safely. She’s quite helpless, after all, meaning poor Ico has to break his back just to keep her safely in tow as he navigates the deadly pitfalls set before him. Yet somehow, much like Ico himself, the player just can’t get sick of her. She’s too innocent and helpless, yet somehow she manages to seem grateful. It’s the little things that count, like how she snuggles with him on the little stone-hewn couches that act as the game’s save points.

Kidding aside, it’s difficult not to develop a bond with Yorda, despite how much of a hindrance she can be. There’s no snappy back-and-forth dialogue, (ala Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time) but the utter silence is what makes the game’s atmosphere. Players can draw their own conclusions as to what feelings are developing between the two of them.

But towards the end of the game, their feelings for eachother become more apparent. The final hours see Ico furiously searching for a kidnapped Yorda, and then battling an evil sorceress to get her back. Ico emerges victorious, but wounded – and in a first, final act of gratitude, Yorda carries him to a small lifeboat and sends him away as the castle crashes down around her.

Somehow she lives, of course. I would have preferred a more bitter ending, but then I’m a bitter kinda guy. Regardless, for Ico’s amazing devotion to Yorda (or at least her mobility) and Yorda’s willingness to sacrifice her life for him, we rank them number three among the five best video game romances.

Tomorrow you get to hear Ethos speak about… oh wait, I can’t tell you! Just be here. And by the way, the Thursday edition of Hey! Look! Listen! has been delayed. Sorry. GOODNIGHT FOR NOW!

Project Team ICO Week

Monday, August 24th, 2009

Well here is the first non-completely-narcissistic week. I gotta say that I’m actually pretty excited. I’m naturally narcissistic anyway, so working double-time like that was a little difficult.
Anyway, to celebrate Team ICO Week, Riddles and I are starting a little project.
I realized that I have only played ICO through once, and – this is a little hard to admit – half of it was beat by my friend as we played through it together. I’m a little tough on ICO when I talk about it given my actual history with it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the game, but I criticize a lot of aspects that, to be honest, I don’t entirely remember.
THEREFORE this is my round-a-bout way of telling you all that I’m going to be replaying the game this week and posting about it every day.
When Riddles heard this, he decided he’d replay Shadow of the Colossus. I know that he shares my love for the game, but I’m not sure if he has played it as often or as recently as I have. I know that he’s not particularly the type to replay games, so perhaps he hasn’t…

EITHER WAY. Look forward to our daily updates as we replay these classics. We’ll also, of course, be talking about our thoughts concerning the upcoming Last Guardian.
Just in case you forgot:
ico-box-art