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Ethos and Riddles talk about video games...
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by Ethos

The Vetoed Picks – Ethos: Jack

Monday, July 26th, 2010

During the process of creating these Top Five lists, Riddles and I ran into a number of disagreements. Some of them so great that we decided that we’d both be allowed a single veto. Because there was more debate on the female side of things, we each vetoed a female pick of the other’s. But we also decided that we’d get a shot to defend the one we wanted to make the list so bad. So here goes.

Jack is sexy. Riddles is quick to call any woman with a tough shell a bitch…which is especially funny because if Oliver were a woman, he’d be exactly like that. Anyway, Jack definitely can be rude and rough around the edges, but she’s smart, honest, and doesn’t bullshit. I respect that. She went through an insane childhood, raised in a testing facility and referred to as “Subject Zero”. When she finally escaped, she went on a rampage, joining cults, killing people, and desperately trying to find herself.

Sure, all the murder and crazy biotic powers make her a little scary, but she grows to trust Shepard; a very rare thing for Jack to do. It’s once this happens that Jack shows that she hasn’t just turned into a killing machine. She never turns into that scared little girl who just needs a friend, but she is able to speak freely of her vulnerabilities and own them while making it clear that she has no problem blasting somebody’s face off if she has a reason to.

But Jack is not just sexy in her confident, quick, and no bullshit attitude. She’s also tattooed from head to toe, which excuses the fact that’s she’s practically naked – the tats basically look like clothing – she shaves her head, and as mentioned before, is a powerful biotic badass. Not to mention she’s got the brooding loner thing going for her. She’s a sexy chick, and Riddles is crazy to use his veto in this case.

But then I should know that he’s crazy, just wait ’till you see the complete shit he wanted to drag into our list. I had to let Samus fly because I had no choice but to place my veto on his insane opinion. Sorry for the spoilers, but I look forward to seeing Riddles fly off the handle because I’m bashing his dear Shelob.

The Honourable Mentions

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Well well well, the official lists are done, and after such rigorous activity, I feel like I need a little wind down. Here are some stupid shits that were either too stupid too make the list, or perhaps there were too many variables. This will be a lot more brief than I anticipated, but I got places to BE!

talesThe Cleanup (Misses)-
Be careful. These are ALL from the Tales series…

Lloyd and Sheena: Sure, Lloyd was an idiot, but Sheena single-handedly made the game worth playing with the best voice acting of the bunch and a rockin’ bod. Because of all the multiple endings, you pretty much can end up with Sheena, but like I said: Lloyd’s a dumbass and deserves nobody.

Genus and Presea: Riddles hates me for this one, but I think Genus’ sweet childhood crush on what he thinks is a girl his age, but is really an adult trapped in a girl’s body could make way for some incredibly twisted and cool plot developments. Presea might be an adult on the inside, but how much does that matter if she is always treated like a child and eventually gives into her fate? I think it could have been pleasantly fucked up, but of course Tales of Symphonia teased and then dropped it.

Yuri and Judith: Judith is like a slightly less cool Sheena, but Yuri is like a NOT THE COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT BORING JACKASS THAT LLOYD IS. So something should have happened between this hot couple! And when they first meet, it’s amazing. There is sexual tension and flirting through the ear. Then they meet up with the rest of the gang and BLAMMO. It’s gone. Namco Bandai MUST be aware that they’re getting a rise and not finishing the job. Maybe that’s their fucked up fetish.

They really were sweet in an odd way...

They really were sweet in an odd way...

Friends With Benefits (Hits)-
Riddles wants Tifa and Cloud on the list, and I agree, but I’ll leave it to him if he has the time. If he doesn’t, know that we both have a soft spot for the guy with the over sized sword hooking up with the chick with over sized breasts.

Jack and Ridley: This couple very well could have made the official list if I had played the game more recently or more often. As it stands, I don’t quite remember the story enough to support their spot against the other romances. I just remember that Jack was a stupid but really sweet character that showcased some of the pure innocent emotions in young love. There’s a particular scene near one of the endings by a tree when Ridley has become far more robot-like, and Jack is just trying to admit feelings for Ridley. Jack was comic relief, but he was a far more honest character than one might anticipate.

Link and Malon: Screw Zelda, she’s annoying and hideous anyway, save Twilight Princess. Riddles was right was he talked me out of this because no romance is really ever explicitly implied except for when Malon’s dad says you can marry his daughter. And that doesn’t really count. But Link is such a stud that you can’t help but assume that Saria, Ilia, Ruto, Malon, Zelda, and even Nabooru all have the hots for him. So since I, in turn, assume that Link has his pick, I pick Malon. She’s feisty, smart, and hot. ‘Nuff said.

What do you think? You guys have been giving great feedback already listing many of your own choices: Elena and Nathan, Cole and Sasha, even Wander and Agro…
But no matter how twisted you are, keep ‘em coming. Who did miss, and what did we get wrong in your opinion?