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by Ethos

Sunday Soapbox: Dear PlayStation Phone, You Make No Sense

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

Well, in classic Riddlethos form once again, we’ve written/done/played absolutely nothing that coincides with the theme week. I even said I was going to bite the bullet and play some Fable this week, but I didn’t! You can always count on us to never follow through on anything, ever. We’re consistent like that.

But, while I may not have anything to say about Fable, I’m here to bring you the Sunday Soapbox in spite of this. Today, boys and girls, we’re going to be discussing the recently-leaked PlayStation Phone, and how it will fit into the portable gaming market, as well as the overcrowded Smartphone market of today. As you can gather by the title of this article, my view on it is just a tad cynical.

The PlayStation Phone is a smartphone made by Sony’s struggling Sony Ericsson branch. It’s design is similar to the PSPGo, with a sliding top screen revealing a set of PlayStation-branded buttons and a D-pad. Instead of an analog nub there’s a touch-sensitive track pad. It’s rumored to be about as powerful as the PSP, and while it still hasn’t been officially confirmed, it’s practically a given –  original proprietors of the leak, Endgadget, swear by it – and they’ve got quite the track record when it comes to stuff like this. Among other things, they were the first to leak information on the iPad and the Nexus One .

The leak comes at a time when there’s actually quite a bit of buzz taking place in the portable gaming sector. For one, the Nintendo 3DS has been getting quite a bit of attention lately, with its glasses-less 3D technology and impressive lineup of titles set for launch. Given the hype surrounding it, and given that it actually looks like a solid, interesting device, I’m willing to bet that the 3DS will only fuel the fire behind Nintendo’s lifelong dominance of the handheld arena. (Excluding the iPhone, that is.)

That’s not all, though. Apparently Sony is hard at work on a true successor to the PSP, and some lucky people were able to hear about it at a private meeting during the Tokyo Game Show. Known across the internets as the “PSP2,” the device is said to be quite a bit more powerful than the original PSP and the PlayStation Phone; word on the street is that it will pack 1 GB of RAM. To illustrate, that’s twice the amount of RAM in an Xbox 360 console. Further word on the street is that the device will feature an HD display, a touch screen, and dual analog sticks. Oh, and there’s no UMD drive – which, in this case, I am all for.  In all, it sounds like an impressive device – a device poised to compete not only with Nintendo, but with Apple. Y’know, kinda like what the PSPGo was supposed to do.

So, to summarize: we have Nintendo, set to release an exciting new handheld gaming system featuring technology that we’ve never seen utilized in such a way. We have Sony, working hard on a powerful, UMD-less gaming system that could make the impact that the PSPGo didn’t – and then some.

We have Apple. Apple’s iPhone and iPads have more units in the hands of the public than any handheld system. What’s amazing to me is that even the iPad has taken off in such a way – which is a lesson to be learned that size, apparently doesn’t matter if you market your shit correctly. (Sony, perhaps, has picked up on this – the PSP2’s screen is said to be at least an inch larger than that of the original PSP.)

So. In the midst of all this, what possible piece can a PlayStation Phone cut for itself? A bit of a stumper, isn’t it? The handheld gaming space is well-populated right now, and if people need anything, it isn’t necessarily more options.

As a PSP owner, have you ever fondled your PSP gently in your hands and breathed, “if you could only make phone calls.”

No? Yes? If you said “yes,” then you’re probably a gamer, and a fairly devoted one at that. (Otherwise you wouldn’t be on this site.) But while Sony may be able to sell this thing to a select demographic of gamers, they’re gonna have to do more than that if they want the PlayStation Phone to make a serious impact in the portable marketplace.

And here’s part two of why the PlayStation Phone makes no sense: not only will Sony be releasing this thing into an overpopulated handheld gaming market, they’ll be dumping the PlayStation Phone smack dab into an even more overpopulated Smartphone market.

Hell, I don’t even own a SmartPhone, and I’ve spent the last six months or so going back and forth on what to (eventually) buy. People (myself included) were just starting to wrap their head around this whole Android vs. iPhone thing, and then BAM, Windows Phones. (Fuck you, Windows Phones. But god damn, do you look beautiful.)

Word has it that the PlayStation Phone will run the Gingerbread OS (that being Android 3.0) by Google. This, of course, makes one wonder how Sony can effectively brand the device as “PlayStation” if it’s, y’know… running on different software. If I don’t see the Xcross Media Bar when I boot the device up, it won’t feel like a PlayStation device to me. Or anyone, I’d presume. It’s said that the phone will feature a specialized Sony marketplace that will allow you to purchase games and other products from the PlayStation Store. That sort of brand licensing doesn’t seem like something Sony would be privy to doing. But, if the phone is indeed running the Android OS, I don’t see how else they could approach it.

Oh, and I’d be remiss not to mention: Sony Ericsson isn’t exactly the most respected or, uh, profitable branch Sony has right now. They’ve lost most of the share they had in the smartphone market, and one has to wonder why Sony would even want to put their PlayStation brand name on a Sony Ericsson phone.

So. I ask again: what market is this identity-confused phone meant for?

Soon after the leak, Sony’s VP of Marketing was quoted  in an interview with CNN as saying that gamers were unsatisfied with the current software offerings in Apple’s iPhone/iPad library. “These are largely time-killers. Gamers aren’t satisfied with that.”

Okay! So… you want to offer more hardcore on-the-go experiences? Because, y’know, I’d really like to pull out my smartphone and complete a few quests in Dragon Age during my 15 at work. Point being, I don’t think there’s many hardcore gamers in the world screaming out for hardcore experiences on their smartphones.

Care to guess why?

Because hardcore gamers play hardcore games on consoles. And handheld gaming systems. That’s why.

Am I making sense? I feel like I’m making perfect sense here. As a hardcore gamer, my smartphone needs and my hardcore gaming needs are two entirely different things. If Sony makes a phone that can play God of War, I’m not going to give a rat’s ass, because I’d much rather play God of War on my PS3. Or hell, my PSP even.

Maybe I’m judging to harshly, too quickly, or both. Sony still hasn’t “officially” revealed anything. But this much is clear: whatever the PlayStation phone ends up being, whatever tech it packs, and whatever demographic Sony is aiming for, they’ve got a hell of an uphill battle from here.

Hey! Look! Listen! #65 – You’ve got such super-wicked style

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

So I’m expected to visit Albion this week? Madness. I’m deep within the mystical land of Ferelden, and I have no desire to leave. Seriously. That game is so good, and I’ve really been getting into it lately, so the thought of putting it aside in favor of Fable is just… tough. It’s a tough thing.

But the theme week demands it. And while I’m generally perfectly fine with ignoring theme weeks, this time I’m gonna bite the bullet. For the sake of you all.

Anyway. That’ll come later. For now, let’s take a look at some goings-on across the internet.

Speaking of Dragon Age: Check Out this Sexy New Trailer for Dragon Age II

And when I say sexy, I do mean sexy. This looks more like a trailer for a slickly packaged action game than an RPG; and while that’s perhaps slightly off-putting, you can’t deny the sexiness of it.

Plus, unlike all prior trailers, this one is composed of actual in-game footage. No gameplay, but in-game footage. It looks quite good, actually.

Man. I need to finish Dragon Age Origins.

Funny: Steve Jobs Was Pissed Over Bungie Sale Back in 2000

Man, it really was ten years ago that Microsoft made that fateful acquisition of Bungie. (The Halo guys, for you clueless ones.)

Something you might not know about Bungie, though, is that before the Microsoft buyout, they developed games primarily for (wait for it) the Apple Macintosh platform. Yep. A few of their titles were ported to Windows platforms, but they were more or less what you’d call Mac developers.

So, when Microsoft bought out Bungie in summer of 2000, you can imagine that a certain Steve Jobs wasn’t entirely thrilled. He was far from thrilled, in fact; he was downright pissed. So pissed that he called Microsoft’s CEO Steve Ballmer and bitched. Or something.

This is according to former Xbox exec Ed Fries, who recently told this story to Develop. Apparently, after the phone call, Ballmer ordered Fries to make some, uh… reparations.

“So, during the day, I got an email from Steve Ballmer asking me to phone Steve Jobs and calm him down about the whole thing,” he said.

“Anyway, we did this deal with Apple where we’d port some PC games to the Macintosh and help Peter Tamte create this company to do it, and I had to go to a Mac developer conference and get on stage and talk about this whole new partnership. It was a pretty strange time.”

That does sound like a strange time. For several reasons. Like, for instance: why the hell would Microsoft go to such lengths to placate an angry Steve Jobs? What possible advantage could that bring to them? Was it supposed to cultivate good relations? Because as far as I can see, the two companies still hate eachother. I mean hell, Melinda Gates won’t even let her kids have an iPod, for fuck’s sake.

So why? Was there a threat involved? Am I reading way too much into this? Am I just trying to up my word count? Is anyone still reading? God, I hope not.

The PlayStation Phone is a Thing

A real thing. A thing that’s a thing that’s a thing.

That is to say that it’s real. Endgadget says so. And they have pictures to prove it. Here, take a gander at this one:

Nice. No analog nub, but still nice. I’m actually interested in this, but unsure how much of a nerd stigma would come along with owning a PlayStation phone. I mean, we all remember what happened to the N-Gage, right? Granted that has very little to do with anything, but still, we all remember, right? Obviously the PlayStation Phone will look hella slicker, but due to the presence of PlayStation buttons, it’ll have to be hella slick indeed to avoid looking awkward when you pull it out at parties.

It’s rumored that the PlayStation Phone will hit the market “soon” – possibly in time for the holidays, though Endgadget calls 2011 a more realistic release window at this point. Supposedly, it’ll come equipped with the Android 3.0 OS, and will feature a “custom Sony Marketplace which will allow you to purchase and download games designed for the new platform.”

Oh, Jeezus: Check Out These New Catherine Screens

I’m pretty excited about Catherine. I mean, how can you not be? A distinctively and pointedly adult-themed game brought to you by the people behind Persona 3 and 4? Yes, please. Please. Yes.

However. It must be said that the screenshot below is one of the more disturbing images I’ve seen in at least twelve hours.

Is that… a chainsaw coming out of its eye? Two chainsaws?

Hit up Andriasang for the full batch of screens. Catherine’s been given a release date for Japan – and that date is February 17. No word yet on a Western release, but I’m sure we’ll get one.

That’s all I’ve got in me tonight, gents and ladies. Signing off.

~Riddles