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by Ethos

Save Data Should Never Be Locked (#Heavy Rain)

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
Thanks PS3Blog.net for the image and for their list of locked PS3 saves.

Thanks PS3Blog.net for the image and for their list of locked PS3 saves.

As you’re all well aware, it’s Heavy Rain week. It’s another week I’ll be soloing, since I’m more interested in the game than Ethos is – hence why I went to buy it today while Ethos did not.

As the title implies, things haven’t quite gone according to plan. It began when I went to buy it this afternoon. I walked to what seems to be the only GameStop in Toronto (they’re a bit behind on the EB/GameStop switch) with the intent of buying it so I could play it immediately – despite having it reserved back in TN.

Right before I walked in, some sketchy-looking fuck with a rat’s nest on his head and a backpack full of games stepped up to the register and said he wanted to trade a few games for credit. Whilst I stood and waited, I heard him ask, seemingly on a whim: “do you guys have any copies of Heavy Rain left?” And to my dismay, the GameStop clerk answered: “yeah, we have one non-pre-order copy we’re selling.”

I wasn’t happy, needless to say – I asked again to make absolutely sure they had no other copies to sell. The clerk said “no,” and that next time I should pre-order. I replied that I did, in fact, have it pre-ordered- back in the states. They didn’t care.

Although, the dude who was stealing my copy did say I could come over to his place. As long as I “stayed out of his pot.” (I quote.) I politely declined.

Anyway. As fate would have it, a store across the street called Sonic Boom had a solitary copy hidden away, which I found and snagged. Along with $100+ worth of other shit. (Hey, it was an awesome store.)

SO. After coming home, performing the 5GB install, going back out, getting some wings, and coming back home, I finally started playing Heavy Rain.

(Not sure why I keep referring to Ethan’s house as “home,” but we’re going to let that slide for now.)

As certain reviews have stated, the opening to Heavy Rain is slow. Really, really slow. You spend the entirety of it performing mundane tasks such as brushing your teeth, setting tables, and reheating pizza in the microwave. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it – it’s clear that the slow opening is needed to establish whatever dark murder mystery Heavy Rain has in store for me – but it certainly requires a bit of perseverance.

So after playing for about an hour and half (and, incidentally, finally reaching a part that seemed semi-interesting) I decided I’d better check to ensure that I could transfer my save to a USB key before I played any further.

And guess what? Like Dragon Age, and a few other random PS3 titles, Heavy Rain’s save data is locked. Why is it locked? Why is the save data for ANY game locked, ever, for any reason?

Hell if I know. But of course, the one game I buy in Canada won’t let me take my progress back to TN. I’d love to give you proper Heavy Rain impressions right now, but thanks to Quantic Dream and their draconian save-locking ways, I can’t. Because I can’t play any further. Because I have to go back to TN tomorrow.

A Message to Apple: You Suck, Suck, Suck

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

I realize now how ironic it is to write this after our “podcast” (look below) has just recently been added to the Apple store. Regardless, grateful as Ethos and I are for that, Apple still sucks. Why? I’ll tell you.

500x_sportsillustrated

Acceptable.

Apple has recently cracked down on apps that they deem sexually explicit or provocative. Not content, mind you – children are still allowed to download all the sexually explicit music and TV shows they want to, as long as they can provide a valid credit card number – but apps, such as the infamous Wobble iBoobs app.

Jon Atherton, the developer of said iBoobs app, released the newly-implemented list of taboos to the public via TechCrunch:

1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)
2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)
3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)
4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)
5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned
6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble “overtly sexual!)
7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

Female_Figure_Skater

Not acceptable.

Good question, Jon. How is Playboy still in the store? Or Sports Illustrated? Could it possibly be because they’re big, rich, revenue-generating companies? No, of course not. Here’s the real reason, according to Apple exec Phil Schiller: “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”

Yuh-huh. Well, at least they’re not being hypocritical or anything. Those guidelines are so ridiculously strict and arbitrary that there’s no way they’ll be upheld. My guess is that they’ll be pulled out of the closet on occasion to put the kibosh on some small-time developer that Apple doesn’t care about. And, in doing so, they’ll be appeasing all of the stupid parental figures in the world, who don’t seem to realize that with an iPod touch an an internet connection, their children can access every porn site on the internet.

Lamesauce, Apple. Complete and utter lamesauce. I hope Google’s phone kicks your ass.

Anyway. I’m off to buy Heavy Rain. It’s my last full day here in the magical land of Canadia; I suppose I shouldn’t spend all of it smouldering in Apple-induced rage.