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Ethos and Riddles talk about video games...
            Can you handle it?
by Ethos and Riddles

Welcome to Most Anticipated Games Week

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

I don't really even care about Batman, but I'm excited for this game.

Well Riddles got his chance to write about Back to the Future: The Game, but only came up with a video of his friend playing it. So I’m moving on.

This year is fucking insane for us gamers.
This is the calm before the storm. Quite literally. Because next week both Pokémon and Dragon Age 2 will be released, then Infamous soon after, then the 3DS, Team ICO collection, then nonstop blockbuster AAA titles until all of our faces fall off.

This week – at least – I will talk about the games I have unbridled excitement for (see: Dragon Age 2, Mass Effect 3, Pokémon White, Batman: Arkham City). I will talk about games that I am excited for with hesitation of varying levels (see: Uncharted 3, The Last Guardian, Infamous 2) and games that I am tentatively excited for (see: Skyward Sword).

That last category probably wouldn’t even exist without the latest gameplay trailer for Zelda. I’m all for a little context sensitive swordplay, but based on that trailer, it looks like the entire thing is motion gimmick after motion gimmick. It’s like Nintendo hasn’t realized that their controller sucks and is really, really old. Even with the expensive fix.

There’s actually a lot more I have to say about that, but I’ll leave it to the specific article. I hope to write one for at least each of the games I’ve already mentioned. Can you feel it? Gaming is going to give a hell of a year before the 2012 apocalypse.

What Riddles has written about Black Ops so far

Sunday, November 14th, 2010

“Black Ops – Day 1

The Multiplayer
-Finds matches quickly
-Works quite well on PSN right now; few dropped matches.”

And that’s it. Whattaprick. I know I owe you guys a TTKL and a Scatter Storming like there’s no tomorrow, but c’mon!

Scatter Storming. Issue #036

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

Here we go, I’m on a decent roll. A little hungry and I have more caffeine in my system than food, but a promise is a promise, so here is post 2 of 3!

What do you think of the new “Gaming Rambles” part of the Scatter Storming logo, by the way? I’m pretty much already completely sold on it. But let’s talk games.

A Crack in Time Wastes Nine -
I don’t know what possessed me to pick up Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time. I had played a bit of Tools of Destruction and while I had some fun, it didn’t entice me to the series in the least. Still, I saw a used copy, and went for it.

It turns out that the game is quite fun and really addictive. I realize I’m about 8 years late to the party, but the game really keeps things fresh by consistently giving access to new – and usually increasingly bizarre – weapons that all have unique and useful attributes. Typically I’m the guy who finds one weapon and sticks with it, but everything is so much fun, that I’m really trying everything out and keeping things fresh.

Not just that, but the game has a good balance of main and side missions that allow for some solid pacing and plenty of distractions. Visually, it’s vibrant and detailed, and the load times are pleasantly hidden when traversing the universe and landing on the mini-planets.

Not just that, but it looks to be the first game that I’ll Platinum. I know the Trophy race with Abe80 is basically off now, but I’d be kicking his ass!

Given all that, however, there are still a few weird control quirks, and it’s generally a little easy (I’m playing on Hard). Also, it’s basically just like the other 98732 titles from what I hear. Although, like I mentioned, I’m enjoying this a great deal more than Tools of Destruction.

So A Crack in Time was a good decision, but my time at the game store yielded some not-so-great decisions.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Yup, I “upgraded” to PS3 -
Shut up. My 360 is basically my Mass Effect/Rock Band machine now – excepting some XBLA titles – and I regret buying some games for the system instead of my PS3. So I sold the 2008 Prince of Persia and Eternal Sonata to get the PS3 versions. Although there are notable issues with the 2008 PoP, I think Riddles gives it too hard of a time. I think it is stunning visually, and is actually really fun and quite beautiful after the lands are healed. Whenever I’d crave playing it again, however, I just wouldn’t because that would mean turning on my 360, letting it warm up, and hoping it wouldn’t crash. It’s really not that bad, but I like having everything on my system of choice unless there is a title like Mass Effect.

Eternal Sonata, however, is a bit more difficult to defend.

The characters are annoying as fuck, the story takes itself too seriously, and the gameplay is simplistic. Still, I don’t hate it like some. I think it’s another great looking game, and I’m seriously missing a RPG to fall asleep playing. FFXIII is certainly not that, and Star Ocean’s battle system takes too much skill. Also, the PS3 version of ES has more content and an additional character, so I suppose it’s the definitive version. Also, it was cheap (so was PoP).

Anyway, there’s that. Let’s move on to make fun of Riddles to distract from my idiotic tendencies.

Mono shmono -
Dear Riddles, you didn’t have a single Chai during one of Riddlethos’ greatest weeks, and now – when you’re “too sick” to post anything – you haven’t had an iced latte either. I’ve had three! And I’m just as broke as you, if not more! Whateva! I didn’t make fun of you during your sabbatical, so I’m bringing it back!

Well that’s all I’ve got. If you’re wondering, I haven’t used that exact picture in a Scatter Storming before, but I have used one from the same series. NOW YOU KNOW!

Iced Latte Count: 3

Late as usual, so here’s a present!

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Well while we’re waiting for Riddles to be typically late with his post for the #4 chick. Here’s a picture of my hot girlfriend’s rack.

Read 'em and weep, boys!

So I might get in trouble for this, but worth it! Sexy Summer Week just got sexiest!

Sweet sorrow

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Good evening, citizens of Riddlethos. I hope you’ve been enjoying E3 2010. I, quite frankly, have not been.

You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been around much lately, and I apologize for that. So, instead of continuing this facade, I’ve decided to take an official sabbatical. I just finished discussing it with Ethos, and we’ve decided that a short break would be the best thing for me at this point.

Don’t worry, Ethos will still be here, and if we’re lucky, maybe even a few guests. But, don’t expect to see me for two weeks at least.

Stay beautiful, my darlings. We’ll be re-united soon.

(cue flaming)

UPDATE: Er, sorry, I couldn’t resist. Sabbatical begins now.


Alright, well…

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

I thought that Riddles would be posting a HLL today, so I was holding off on my Scatter Storming. No dice, eh Riddles? Oh well, I’ll still give you all my Scatter Storming tomorrow, but for now know that I’ve been playing Red Dead and I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would. Still, the thing about GTA is that it looked interesting, but it also looked like it got boring fast. I’m definitely very far from final judgement, but I can’t deny that I’m definitely enjoying myself so far, and I’ve been impressed with the dialogue.

See?!

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

I promise a Riddles soapbox update and look… nothing.

I should never have trusted him, we were so consistent with these Sunday Soapboxes.
Riddles is an asshole.

Anyway, I beat FFXIII today. I truly could have cared less about the ending. What a missed opportunity with that game. I’m going to try and review it for tomorrow. Although I personally quite enjoyed the game, I have to warn you that I don’t think I’m going to give it an overwhelming score. The biggest spoiler I can give is that it will very likely earn the lowest score on Riddlethos yet. The Blue Dragon reviews don’t necessarily count.

Sunday Soapbox: Why Riddles Sucks

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

soapboxArgh, can’t I take a short break once in a while? I even did the leg-work. I was able to snag a preview copy of God of War III for a weekend, so I beat it in that time and had a review prepared for day one of this disastrous week. Our stats were up, our Final Fantasy XIII Week content was great, I thought it was all set. Wrong. I tell my sandbag of a partner, Riddles, that my girlfriend is coming into town for a few days and I won’t be around so much to provide supplementary material. He says that makes sense anyway since I’ve already beat the game, and he’ll be able to provide more real-time impressions. Great, right? Well the material for this week speaks for itself. I don’t know what his excuse is, I don’t want to know. I’m sure it’s something like “well, I was lonely without you, Ethos, I was too busy crying to write anything about God of War III even though I’ve been playing it.” Psshaw.

Well guess what? I’m back and I’m taking over, baby. Riddles didn’t want it to happen, but now he doesn’t get a say. Next week will be “Ethos Presents: Pokémon Silver Madness Extraordinaire Week!”, and the banner will be FUCKING HIDEOUS. That’s what you get when you abandon such a beautiful baby like Riddlethos.com.

Yes, this barely qualifies as a Sunday Soapbox, but this also barely qualified as a theme week. See you all next week when Scatter Storming and content in general will return.

Where the fuck is Riddles?

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

I told the prick I’d be MIA most of this week. I gave the asshole heads up.
Now I think he’s avoiding me because he feels guilty.
We were on a roll, too!
Just for that, I’m posting the worst picture of the jerk ever. For now, I’m fucking exhausted, I hope you’re all loving the shit out of God of War III.
loliver

Hey! Look! Listen!

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

HeyLookListenLogo1

Yes, it’s me. And yes, it’s Sunday. I’m not going to make this a “Riddles is a Lazy Jackass Edition” because I was also one of those things. Anyway, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to check news on the Nintendo Wii for the first time in weeks and weeks, so that’s what you’re getting today. Old Nintendo news. Excited? Let’s do this.

Looks cool, sure, but also like Twilight Princess...

Looks cool, sure, but also like Twilight Princess...

Nintendo spills the beans on some e3 plans
Woo, big surprises here. Mario and Zelda. While Galaxy 2 will very likely be a blast and I’m curious to see if Nintendo can save the slow death of the console Zelda, it’s not enough to get me giddy like it used to. But although it should be expected, it’s very hilarious that Nintendo plans on spending a hefty portion of their press conference showing off the Wii Vitality Sensor. I just mentioned this on the Megaphone’s Ahoy! Podcast, but why the hell would anybody want a device for gaming that literally requires you to stay as still as possible. I believe we had all hoped this had quietly disappeared into the terrible idea ether, but Nintendo seems intent in pushing forth. Oh well, we all need a good laugh. (IGN)

Major RPGs hitting up the Wii
Hmm… I don’t know what to make of this. Xenoblade, the supposed – but not confirmed – next title in the Xenosaga series will make an exclusive appearance, and a brand new Mistwalker brainchild, The Last Story will also be exclusive to Nintendo’s confused little console. While these strike me as potentially high quality titles, The Crystal Bearers and Tales of Symphonia 2 also had my hopes up. Dragon Quest IX on the DS makes sense to me, but I don’t think epic RPGs make sense on the Wii. Or at least they absolutely haven’t yet. (IGN)

Seriously, Mistwalker? The Last Story? You’re not even trying anymore.
At least “Lost Odyssey” tried to hide the fact that its title was a Final Fantasy rip-off. It also sounded cooler. Even if the game rocks, that name never will. (See: Kingdom Hearts: Dumb Name)

Metroid: Dumb Name seems to still exist.
Just like the Wii Vitality Sensor appeared to be a gimmick to make Oprah fans happy during the e3 press conference last year, hardcore fans were beginning to think that Metroid: Other M was a stunt to stave off angry fanboys who were finally beginning to crack under Nintendo’s heavily casual new direction. But, just like Nintendo’s stupid pulse checker, the newest game with the dumbest name has popped back into the news. There’s a Japanese teaser website that, of course, says nothing, but Nintendo did say that they’re aiming for a Summer 2010 release. …also just for Japan. Anyway, I’m not a massive Metroid fan, but I’ve got a casual eye on this game. (IGN)

Harder to keep in your pocket...

Harder to keep in your pocket...

iPad not scaring Sony and Nintendo.
Or not according to Sony and Nintendo, anyway. But what else would you expect? John Koller of Sony tried to make Apple’s success their own by stating,

“Apple’s entrance into the portable gaming space has been a net positive for Sony, when people want a deeper, richer console, they start playing on a PSP.”

Nintendo President, Satoru Iwata instead went on the slightly ironic attack by simply stating,

“It was a bigger iPod Touch”

I miss the fighting. Come back to us, Nintendo. (IGN)

Anyway, that’s that. Better than nothing, right? No? Piss off.