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Ethos and Riddles talk about video games...
            Can you handle it?
by Ethos

Hey! Look! Listen!

Sunday, January 31st, 2010


Yes, it’s me. And yes, it’s Sunday. I’m not going to make this a “Riddles is a Lazy Jackass Edition” because I was also one of those things. Anyway, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to check news on the Nintendo Wii for the first time in weeks and weeks, so that’s what you’re getting today. Old Nintendo news. Excited? Let’s do this.

Looks cool, sure, but also like Twilight Princess...

Looks cool, sure, but also like Twilight Princess...

Nintendo spills the beans on some e3 plans
Woo, big surprises here. Mario and Zelda. While Galaxy 2 will very likely be a blast and I’m curious to see if Nintendo can save the slow death of the console Zelda, it’s not enough to get me giddy like it used to. But although it should be expected, it’s very hilarious that Nintendo plans on spending a hefty portion of their press conference showing off the Wii Vitality Sensor. I just mentioned this on the Megaphone’s Ahoy! Podcast, but why the hell would anybody want a device for gaming that literally requires you to stay as still as possible. I believe we had all hoped this had quietly disappeared into the terrible idea ether, but Nintendo seems intent in pushing forth. Oh well, we all need a good laugh. (IGN)

Major RPGs hitting up the Wii
Hmm… I don’t know what to make of this. Xenoblade, the supposed – but not confirmed – next title in the Xenosaga series will make an exclusive appearance, and a brand new Mistwalker brainchild, The Last Story will also be exclusive to Nintendo’s confused little console. While these strike me as potentially high quality titles, The Crystal Bearers and Tales of Symphonia 2 also had my hopes up. Dragon Quest IX on the DS makes sense to me, but I don’t think epic RPGs make sense on the Wii. Or at least they absolutely haven’t yet. (IGN)

Seriously, Mistwalker? The Last Story? You’re not even trying anymore.
At least “Lost Odyssey” tried to hide the fact that its title was a Final Fantasy rip-off. It also sounded cooler. Even if the game rocks, that name never will. (See: Kingdom Hearts: Dumb Name)

Metroid: Dumb Name seems to still exist.
Just like the Wii Vitality Sensor appeared to be a gimmick to make Oprah fans happy during the e3 press conference last year, hardcore fans were beginning to think that Metroid: Other M was a stunt to stave off angry fanboys who were finally beginning to crack under Nintendo’s heavily casual new direction. But, just like Nintendo’s stupid pulse checker, the newest game with the dumbest name has popped back into the news. There’s a Japanese teaser website that, of course, says nothing, but Nintendo did say that they’re aiming for a Summer 2010 release. …also just for Japan. Anyway, I’m not a massive Metroid fan, but I’ve got a casual eye on this game. (IGN)

Harder to keep in your pocket...

Harder to keep in your pocket...

iPad not scaring Sony and Nintendo.
Or not according to Sony and Nintendo, anyway. But what else would you expect? John Koller of Sony tried to make Apple’s success their own by stating,

“Apple’s entrance into the portable gaming space has been a net positive for Sony, when people want a deeper, richer console, they start playing on a PSP.”

Nintendo President, Satoru Iwata instead went on the slightly ironic attack by simply stating,

“It was a bigger iPod Touch”

I miss the fighting. Come back to us, Nintendo. (IGN)

Anyway, that’s that. Better than nothing, right? No? Piss off.

My God

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Riddles is such a fuck. JRPG Relapse Week is a taxing week, yet he decides to postpone it. Thanks a lot, asshole. You get this picture.

Riddles is this guy AND the noob

Riddles is this guy AND the noob

Darksiders: Almost 20 Hours In.

Sunday, January 17th, 2010


Yup, while Riddles played relevant games to the theme week and will have his verdict probably late (that asshole), I played a lot of Darksiders this weekend. I’m fairly certain I’m in the “final stretch”, but in these sorts of games, that could be another 5 hours of gameplay, so I’m not banking on beating it tonight.

However, my feelings on it are largely the same since my initial impressions. I’m starting to see some of the complaints that I didn’t before, however. With more enemies and now riding the back of a literally blazing fast horse, the framerate has more moments when it starts to hiccough. Also, while I think the puzzles are better than most describe, it is becoming noticeable that there’s barely a difficulty curve with them. In fact, the puzzles in the dungeon I’m currently in are only difficult because the most obvious route is correct, and my Zelda mindset is always trying to think outside the box. Again, that’s not to say they’re all bad, but this latest dungeon is an example of the worst.

One complaint I do not understand, however, is one about the bosses. So far, I think they’ve been fun, epic, frantic, and very enjoyable. I suppose they’re largely easy, but I definitely wouldn’t call them pushovers, and they are all absolutely exciting.

I’m on the fence about backtracking for optional additional items and collectables. No, the locales aren’t quite as packed with mood and personality compared to Zelda, but they are impressively varied, and fun to explore. Also, War – the hero – isn’t as boring as I expected. He’s determined and noble, but not a goody two-shoes, and no matter what huge baddie is after his head, they all address him with a pinch of respect. It’s a cool atmosphere that way. Anyway, I plan to review it if I can finish it next week while a review would still be relevant, so I’ll wrap up these impressions here. For now, get excited for JRPG ridiculous next week and probably a late verdict from everybody’s favourite Riddles!

Hey! Look! Listen!

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Oh hey there. Remember Riddles? He doesn’t! He’s probably crying in some lost corner somewhere wondering where and who he is. That’s the absolutely only explanation I can think of why he didn’t come up with a Hey! Look! Listen! last night. But that’s okay, because there’s a wealth of news that I’m more than happy to bring you. So I, your temporary host, Ethan “Ethos the Great” Pipher, will guide you through the bizarre and depressing world of video games.

What I imagine the dude looks like

What I imagine the dude looks like

Man Completes World of Warcraft

Let’s start with the most depressing thing. Some sad sap recently “beat” World of Warcraft this week. Wow. WoW wow, even. I suppose he should be congratulated, but I just feel like crying. Especially because I feel I’m going to get the honour for Final Fantasy XIV when it comes out next year. MMOs are the games you’re not supposed to beat. (Destructoid).

White Knight Chronicles Gets North American Release Date

Took them freaking long enough. February 2. Still, with Mass Effect 2 and FFXIII, this one would need rave reviews for me to pick up. And looking at the reception in Japan, I’m not holding my breath. (IGN).

InFamous Sells Well Later and Opens Up DLC to Everyone

Infamous sold modestly when it first came out, but whether it was all the buzz, or people waiting to buy a slim, the numbers have jumped from around 200 000 at its release to 1.2 million now. To bring attention to this, Sucker Punch has dropped the price and is going to be releasing DLC that was previously only available as a pre-order incentive. It’s some “gigawatt” move or something. You power up the Delorean, I think. I don’t remember. I’m not terribly interested in that part of the story, so you can read the article if you are. (IGN).

Gran Turismo 5 Demo Coming This Year

Yessssss. This excites me, although with Forza 3 being so awesome, I have to admit that my enthusiasm is a little tamer than it would have been. Still, it’s nice to see all these games like Final Fantasy XIII and Gran Turismo 5 show that they are, in fact, going to be released before I die. Presumably anyway. Maybe Riddles is MIA because he’s come up here to kill me. (IGN).

KateBowmanMass Effect 2 Discs

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?! I used “2″ twice! Because it’s Mass Effect 2, and it’ll be on 2 discs! WOW, I’m incredible. But it’s true. On the PC, it just means a 2 disc install. On the 360 it means you’ll have one (and only one) disc swap at one carefully chosen point in the game. I’m sure some people are grumbling, but I don’t care about the swapping one bit. Although it does likely mean that the game will be longer. I know that’ll make some happy, but I loved the length of the last game, so I’m lukewarm on that thought. Either way, that’s the story. Oh yeah, and there’ll be a 3rd disc of bonus stuff if you get the Collector’s Edition. (IGN).

Done! That’s better than Riddles’ typical pile of shit, right?

Hey! Look! Listen!

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

One story today.

Riddles Sucks

“Ohh, I’m Riddles, I have two days off, and have Modern Warfare 2, but can’t find the time to post a Hey! Look! Listen! Oh poor me! Wahh! Oh Ethan, you’ve been working for 23 hours on 7 shows in two days, are you still going to post a Scatter Storming?”
Of course I am!! Jackass.

The point is that you’ll have to wait ’til Thursday for your fix of Riddles’ tainted news. Don’t be easy on him.

Hey! Look! Listen!

Friday, October 16th, 2009

Well, well, well.
I was wondering why yesterday’s content felt a bit light. I thought maybe I should have said some more things about Brutal Legend since I played some more, or maybe there should have been more random pictures with stupid MS Paint scribblings. I don’t know, but the balance just felt off. Then I realized that Oliver FuckCock didn’t post a Hey! Look! Listen! Whatever!
This is MY bitch for the day. Get ready for the news ETHOS (and IGN) style!!!

Mass Effect 2 Release Date Announced

Yes! January 26th! Mass Effect and Uncharted are my two favourite retails games this generation, hands down. So to have both of these high profile sequels coming out practically within three months of each other is perfect. There are supposed to be pre-order bonuses too, but I don’t give a shit about those, so read the article if you care. I’m moving on. (IGN)

New Xbox and DS? Buh?

Yeah, apparently there have been some sort of chip deals and insider info pointing to the successors of the Xbox 360 and the Nintendo DS. The going rumour is that the new DS will be revealed at TGS 2010, and the new or “refreshed” Xbox is due out in 2012. Given that the DS is doing just fine and that Nintendo likes to hide away in a corner and cry during TGS, I’m with IGN on this one in guessing that the DS news is bogus. And I don’t care about a new generation of consoles. We’re doing just fine for a while. (IGN)

250GB Playstation 3 Coming

I suppose to mirror the 360, Sony is going to have two (and hopefully ONLY two) SKUs come this holiday season. Putting anything Microsoft has out to shame, the high end Playstation is 250 gigs. Buuttt, it’s an extra fifty bucks. Cool for those who still don’t have a PS3 at this point. (IGN again)

Miyamoto Impresses Ethos for the First Time in a While

miyamotoI know the headline doesn’t really imply news, but this interview does have some new information on the fast approaching New Super Mario Bros Wii. Miyamoto, while deserving of his legendary status, hasn’t really impressed me recently. He – along with the rest of Nintendo – seem to be off in their own crazy little Nintendo bubble. I would hold out hope that he would be bringing me the same joy he brought to me with Super Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time, but instead I would get Wii Music. His interviews at gaming shows and conventions would be very veiled and casual-oriented. Therefore, I was actually quite pleased with most of the content in this interview. He talks candidly about difficulty levels, user-created content, skilled gamer tricks, moving to HD, and generally shows off his wealth of experience. Just by reading some of the things he says, you can start to understand his truly unique and earnest way at looking at video game development. Of course, he’s not always out of his bubble – he shows explicit ignorance at where Microsoft and Sony are at with console interface and internet connectivity – but it’s overall the best read I’ve had from a Miyamoto interview in years. Who knows, maybe it was just my mood. Incidentally, I agree with him about the Super Guide “feature”. It’s optional, and it’s just providing what people would go to the internet for anyway. It doesn’t show secret areas and it even rewards you for not using it. (Still IGN)

This Story Didn’t Make the Cut


Seriously, who cares?

That’s it! Isn’t it a billion times better than any shit Riddles cooks up?
The answer is yes.
Suck it, assholes!