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by Ethos

Just Checking In

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Yes, hello, it’s your favorite Riddles again. I haven’t checked in yet this week, because I couldn’t think of anything relevant to write.

Then I realized that this is my website, and relevance can be damned. That is to say, I can check in even without a valid reason, and without anything particularly edifying to say.

So, perhaps I’ll merely bore you with personal details of my life. On the whole, things are continuing on much as they have for some time now. I’m working many hours a week at a local restaurant (Bonefish Grill for those who might be interested) and making enough money to pay for bills and the occasional bag of drugs videogame. And Subway, lots of Subway.

In fact, I should take this opportunity to state how much I love Subway. Footlong sandwiches at a reasonable price, and they aren’t terrible for you! It’s weird, because I’ve never been a Subway fan up until I a few months ago when I moved into my current apartment complex, which happens to be just down the road from (you guessed it) a Subway. I could walk there if I wanted. But this is suburban America, and we don’t do that. Or I don’t, at least.

Anyway. Back to what I was saying. I work at the restaurant at least five days out of the week, I’m often there pretty late, then I come home to relax and maybe, hopefully, do something productive. It doesn’t happen often, but as my most recent HLL displayed, I can occasionally muster up the willpower to do something worthwhile. “Worthwhile” being used in its broadest sense, of course.

In a strange twist, though, I’ve had both yesterday and today entirely off work, which rarely happens. (Not in a row, at least.) And, I can safely say that I really haven’t done shit. I visited the bank, ate Subway, bought and watched Inception on Blu-Ray, ate sushi that I bought from Kroger (which, surprisingly enough, wasn’t bad at all) and… that’s about it, I sh’pose.

Oh, yeah, I bought a book. True story: yesterday, while I was at my local Hastings with the intent to buy Inception, I ended up browsing the book section. I almost bought Also Sprach Zarathustra by Nietzche, which I’ve never actually read. (Though I am familiar enough with Nietzche’s philosophies, which have always been particularly resonant with me personally.) Point being, I ended up not buying Zarathustra, and instead buying a book called South Park and Philosophy: Bigger Longer and More Penetrating. It’s “cobbled together” by some dude named Richard Hanley, and it’s one of the more entertaining reads I’ve had in some time.

Granted, I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve read a book from start to finish; it was probably during my college days, which means it was more than likely not by choice. A damn shame, really, because reading is good for the soul. I know this better than most people, because the majority of my childhood was spent reading. It’s how I learned most of what I know.

I suppose that’s enough about my intensely, amazingly, incredibly, irreversibly normal, mundane life. If you’re a single, attractive lady and now find yourself inexplicably intrigued, feel free to email me for further information. Otherwise, just watch this video, which is a funny rap song about a normal everyday guy. Or an Everyday Normal Guy, as it were.

Hm. Alright, well, I’m gonna go watch Team America: World Police. Or something.


Sunday Soapbox: Riddles’ Visit to Toronto

Sunday, February 21st, 2010
Not home sweet home.

Not home sweet home.

Toronto has been a novel experience in more ways than I thought it would be.

To begin with the obvious: I’ve never been in a city this big before. The closest thing I’ve ever seen (sadly enough) is Nashville, the state capital of Tennessee. I’ve spoken plenty about about Nashville in the past, and I’m about to do it again:  it’s a narrow, crowded, labyrinthine sham of a city. And, much like Tennessee as a whole, there’s really nothing there. At all. Murfreesboro (where I live) may be every bit as pointless as Nashville, but at least it doesn’t try to hide this fact.

Toronto felt authentic from the moment I stepped out of the Pearson airport. Why? Public transportation! A concept that, until now, has been entirely foreign to me. Nashville has a bus system that nobody uses, but aside from that, EVERYONE in Tennessee drives. Everywhere. All the time. That’s part of the reason why Nashville tends to be such a convoluted mess; if people could just leave their cars behind and walk, the city would be that much nicer as a result. However, people in Tennessee are more or less grafted to motor vehicles from birth, so that’s not something that will happen anytime soon.

That isn’t to say that people don’t drive in Toronto, but the city also features a number of entirely competent, convenient public transportation modes. Confession: until last Tuesday, I’d never ridden in a subway. Not sure how I managed to go twenty years before having that experience, but… I did. Regretful, yes, but better late than never. The Subway is most definitely an experience everyone should have at some point in their lives, for more than a few reasons.

But I’m pretty sure the concept of a large city isn’t nearly as foreign to the lot of you as it was to me, so I’ll spare you an in-depth review of something as commonplace as a subway system. I’ll venture a guess that you’re more interested in what it’s like to share a house with everyone’s favorite Ethan “Ethos” Pipher. To answer that question, it’s quite… relaxing? Relaxing, decidedly low-key, and not as creepy as you might imagine. For example, I’ve yet to be raped in my sleep. There are a lot of heterosexual men walking around in their underwear (myself included) but that’s more or less the extent of the creepiness.

Oh, wait. There was the “podcast” we recorded. That was… that was definitely… yeah. I won’t attempt to describe it here. It’ll be on the site soon enough. You can listen then, and despair.

Ahem. That aside, I’ve mostly been doing a lot of glorious nothing while I’ve been here, which is more or less what I expected. Movies, videogames, Scrubs, and more videogames have composed the majority of our daily itinerary, and it’s been great. It’s a novel experience to be around people who are actually as nerdy, messy, lazy and carefree as I tend to be. The absence of passive-aggressive judgment for said habits is nice as well.

(Not to speak ill of all the wonderful people back home, of course.)

A brief aside: Ethan, Pogo and I went to see Shutter Island last night. I won’t talk about it at length, only because to reveal anything about the movie would be a disservice to anyone reading. Suffice to say, it was fantastic – I’ve never worshiped Scorsese, and I’ve always hated DiCaprio – but if they keep making movies like this, that’s going to change. Shutter Island is a must-see. Don’t read about it, and don’t talk to anyone who’s seen it – just go see it yourself.

To use that gushy tangent as a springboard, the theater we saw it in was huge. It had an escalator in it, for Christ’s sake. I’d never seen anything like it.

Which, in a nutshell, sums up my thoughts on Ethan’s penis Toronto – it’s huge, and I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s been less than a week, but I feel like it fits me more than anywhere else I’ve ever been. I like being able to walk practically everywhere. I like that there are more attractive Asian women here than I thought existed. I like that the tapwater doesn’t taste like sewage. I like that a ride on the subway system can be about as entertaining as your average primetime programming. I like that this city actually has a personality to it that you simply can’t find in a place like Tennessee.

Oh, and I definitely like the fact that I’m considered legal to drink up here.

Frankly, I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about Toronto. As I sit here in this uncharacteristically large Starbucks, typing this article and basking in the atmosphere of actual “city folk,” I find myself wishing I didn’t have to fly away three days from now. In the back of my mind I’ve always known that in all likelihood, I’d be leaving Tennessee behind at some point in my life. Visiting Toronto has solidified that thought as a fact. Will I end up living happily ever after with Ethos in his magical city? Probably not, sadly, only because moving from one country to another tends to be something of a bitch. But hey, there are plenty of comparable cities in my country as well – albeit with the same ridiculous drinking age of 21.

My Life, People…

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

My, what a Mass Effect 2 Week it has been!

Sigh. Pardon the dark sarcasm. This week began with promise and then it just had to go and get weird.

I’m actually referring more to my personal week than the week here at Riddlethos, but the above sentence applies to both. My week went something like this:

1. Mass Effect 2 claimed my soul. For two days after its release, I did nothing but play the game – and man is it good. So good that I never got around to writing about it – as you can see.

2. I Worked All Day Thursday. It’s true. Riddlethos doesn’t pay me. A small, independently owned restaurant in South Nashville pays me. Like any job, it has its ups and downs. Last Thursday was definitely a down.

3. Middle Tennessee is Hit with a Freak Snowstorm. Nope, not making it up. Out of the blue, we were smacked with five to six inches of snow. And guess who drove to work in it on Friday night? (Well, I technically carpooled with some friends.) A 56-mile roundtrip in a snowstorm is not my idea of fun. Or safe. And we didn’t get any business last night anyway.

4. I’m Snowed In. Well, kinda. The roads are shit and my restaurant was nice enough to close for the evening. I’ve spent most of today shooting the shit with a certain Mike Babasick, who was unlucky enough to get stuck at my apartment with me for most of the day.

5. Now I’m Alone. Mike is gone, and nobody is here to accompany me on this snowy evening. Therefore, I believe now is an excellent time to re-acquaint myself with Mass Effect 2. And who knows, maybe I’ll get around to writing something about it. I certainly don’t have much better to do at the moment.

News Roundup #008 – October 5, 2009: “Tit-Fucking Amazing”

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Fun Roundup this week! Riddles and Ethos talk the news and even dive into a bit of Riddles’ work drama!

Soak up what you can because Riddlethos is considering putting the News Roundup feature on hiatus. Let us know what you think. Do you like the Roundup? Would you be glad to see it go? Don’t care either way? Let us know in the comments below or by e-mailing feedback@riddlethos.com.

Click here to undoubtedly enjoy the Roundup!