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by Ethos

The Five Sexiest Chicks in Gaming – #4: Samus Aran

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

I apologize for being typically late, but I had pressing business to attend with Mr. Daniel’s last night.

To celebrate the season of Summer, we’re spending this week at Riddlethos talking about hot videogame chicks. And dudes. But, thank goodness, I get to talk about a chick this time around.

Ironically, it’s a chick who spends most of her time inside a bulky suit of futuristic armor. Not so hot. But, thanks to Nintendo’s iconic Super Smash Bros. franchise, we’re occasionally given the opportunity to see “Zero Suit Samus” – which is the Samus you see pictured. Pretty hot, right? Shapely body, gorgeous flowing locks, and, of course, the ability to kick lots of ass.

So yeah, get her out of that armor, and she’s gorgeous. But aside from that, the truth is that we don’t know a whole lot about Miss Aran. Like most of Nintendo’s protagonists, she’s pretty damn quiet. This is set to change with the imminent release of Metroid: Other M, but we’re not quite there yet, and God only knows how that’ll go over anyway.

However, I’ve always believed that her mysterious nature makes her that much more attractive and interesting. It’s hard not to wonder what she’s thinking as she traverses the desolate alien landscapes seen in classic titles such as Super Metroid and Metroid Prime. The utter, crushing loneliness, and the sheer distance from all civilization would be enough to drive most people insane – yet she endures it. I mean, sure, she kinda has to or her games would suck – but nonetheless, I’ve always viewed it as an impressive thing. Samus may not have much to say on a general basis, but the connection made through the gameplay alone is a powerful thing.

So, for her iron will, unshakable resolve, and fantastic butt (once she’s outside of that damned armor) we at Riddlethos proclaim Samus Aran the #4 Sexiest Woman in Gaming.

That was the post I was supposed to write yesterday. Check back soon for the post I’m supposed to write today. Today happens to end in about… 26 minutes, but we’ll just ignore that fact for now.