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by Ethos

Spam Comment Roundup #005 (Mini)

Friday, December 24th, 2010

Here’s yet another Christmas present from the endless river of surprises and love from Riddlethos. We disappear for a fortnight and then BAM! More content than both weeks combined in a week that we made famous by doing nothing.

But I couldn’t resist this single comment from a brilliant spam robot. Enjoy. מזרונים knows what’s up.

1 – מזרונים’s Priorities -
Tried to post to “Dirty Words: The Low Art of “Splatterhouse”

Perhaps the name isn’t any sorts of English, but this robot knows what’s up when comes to what to love and in which order.

I love this blog! more then I love my wife!

I’m more than willing to forgive the grammatical error. You must all learn from this wise robot.

Merry Christmas!

Spam Comment Roundup #004

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Well, Riddles is late doing god-knows-what, so here’s that stored up Spam Comment Roundup.

Man, have I ever missed a lot of amazing comments by being lazy with this column.

It turns out that they auto-delete after a time, so all the amazing ones I had stored up are gone forever. The only one I kinda remember involves a robot named “pedo bear” posting something about how this site should be God. It was pretty great.

But it’s lost to the ether, so why don’t I give you guys a few others to work with?

1 – Marty Yeddo’s Confession -
Tried to post to “Life at the Descent of the Waggle: Shattered Dreams

During our surprisingly involved Waggle Week, Marty Yeddo decided to try and let everybody know the following:

Emma is so Hot.

Helpful.

2 – robots pour piscine’s Confession -
Tried to post to “Life for the Future of the Waggle: The Glorious “What If?”s

Also commenting during Waggle Week, this comment is a little more relevant.

I like to read nice things!

Hey, thanks! Although it doesn’t actually specify that the article was a nice thing that it liked reading. It could be a completely irrelevant comment. Also, its name roughly translates to “robots for pools” so I feel like the thing is a little suicidal as well…

3 – ninja 650 lady’s Lesson for the Day -
Tried to post to “Welcome to Black Ops Week

Despite its badass name, ninja 650 lady decided to drop a really lame knowledge bomb on us.

A metaphor is like a simile.

…Thanks…

Spam Comment Roundup #003

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Spam Comment Roundup is back, bitches!

Okay, I admit that I was jealous that Riddles has been able to say that so much. But it is true. SCR is back.

…bitches.

Keep in mind that I do not alter these in any way except for taking out the spam links.

1 – Goldvish’s Children -
Tried to post to “The Dust Has Settled: Day 3 – Ethos

Goldvish is a family robot who knows how to delegate…

Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you present! I am going to bookmark your weblog and have my children investigate up here generally. Thumbs up!

Goldvish doesn’t have the TIME, people! It needs its little robot children to investigate its favourite new sites!

2 – A Good Point… -
Tried to post to “E3, Mother Fuckers!

The not-so-subtly-named “trade show videos” proves that robots sometimes know their shit.

Isn’t “E3 Expo” redundant? That’s literally Electronic Entertainment Expo Expo

Well met, tsv! It even posted this observation in an appropriate thread. You’d think my respect for the bots would grow…

3 – attract love Is Lost -
Tried to post to “Sunday Soapbox: Where does Final Fantasy XIII fit now?

…but then “attract love” spews this nonsense in an irrelevant thread…

Gotta admit, I have been sort of interested in the female pheramone market. It’s rather entertaining, since we really are creatures underneath all the levels of logic and deduction. I could definitely regard it directions, since the raw attraction principles work surprisingly effectively to draw in the opposite sex.

What is this asshole even talking about? Not even close to close, buddy.

4 – Yer Toelke’s Favourite Game -
Tried to post to “Guest Sunday Soapbox: Matti’s Bad Breakup with Nintendo

my favorite game is Captain Blood ,I would like some suggestions for similar games thanks. I own a Xbox 360 Consolas.

I just wanted to post this because apparently Captain Blood does exist! And Yer Toelke, if you have a Xbox 360 Consolas, you might want to keep an eye on the new Captain Blood game!

5 – nude fat girls’ Advice -
Tried to post to “The Dust Has Settled: Day 2 – Ethos

No typo on that user name there.

3. Turn all the white “time squares” to blue in order to deactivate the Internet for those times.

Who knew? nude fat girl robots have the secret to deactivating the internet!

6 – Take Us Home, Shad Finona! -
Tried to post to “A Life Without Video Games

Read these wise words carefully.

You must be logged in to save your lolz to your account

There’s nothing more I can say.

Except for:

You must be logged in…

…to save your lolz to your account.

Spam Comment Roundup #002

Monday, June 28th, 2010

Well, I was right about there being no 3DS at the Nintendo event today, but I DID play quite a few games including Dragon Quest IX, Golden Sun, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, and Golden Eye. Epic Mickey was also there, and I watched an extensive demo although I didn’t play it myself. Impressions from all these games will come tomorrow.

But what’s more important than game demos for some of the most anticipated titles this year? Spam comments! Yay! Let’s dive in.

1 – Diana Canedy’s Enthusiasm -
Tried to post to “Guest Sunday Soapbox: Matti’s Bad Breakup with Nintendo

This isn’t that exciting, I just like how this robot’s excitement ramps up.

Hey man, was just browsing through the internet looking for some information and came across your blog. I am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. Bookmarked this page, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK!!!

So there’s some positive feedback for your guest Soapbox, C-Cow.

2 – javmjeif’s Retaliation -
Tried to post to “Spam Comment Roundup

Robots have feelings too, and I guess they were offended by the creation of this feature, so they sent javmjeif to speak in their defense. Sadly, it didn’t bring a translator.

16BpBp xtyaeyneknxg, [url=http://ubnhxojxjoql.com/]ubnhxojxjoql[/url], [link=http://ugopbesqhzkh.com/]ugopbesqhzkh[/link],

Well spoke.

3 – Riddles? Is That You? -
Tried to post to “Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! #009

This robot’s name is actually “xbox membership”, but just read what it says…

Greetings from Tennessee! Just googled your website. Actually read your article, I’ll email it along! :D Have a fantastic day!

Perhaps Riddles has turned into a very friendly robot named “xbox membership”.

4 – Henry Vandercook Wants Things CURRENT
Tried to post to “A Life Without Video Games

Henry’s a nice robot with good taste, but MAN if you’re going to recommend a game to it, it had better have been released in the past three minutes, or this mother fucker will stamp it OLD.

About a week ago i downloaded Mass Effect 2 Torrent from *blocked site* and, even though its a really OLD game, its simply the best PC game ever made in my opinion =)

The robot didn’t say blocked site, I just thought it would be counterproductive to show the spam site.

5 – Andrew Pelt’s Uncertainty
Tried to post to “Guest Sunday Soapbox: Matti’s Bad Breakup with Nintendo

Andrew Pelt needs some more time to make his decision about Riddlethos.

Hey I think your blog is good! I found it on YahooI think I will come back one day

I didn’t bold that “think”. The robot did. He’s not ready to commit to that thought yet.

That’s it! I’ve actually got some more, but I think 5 is enough for one day.

Spam Comment Roundup

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Yes folks, I’m still busy-go-nuts visiting my lovely girlfriend in the closeby province of New Brunswick, but I thought I’d stop by to start a feature I’ve wanted to do for a while.

Riddlethos.com gets a very healthy stream of spam comments which is not uncommon, nor is the very effective spam filter that we use. Now, I choose to screen the comments instead of automatically deleting them, and while there have only been a few very rare cases of the filter turning down a legitimate comment, I’ve begun to look forward to the screening process for a new reason. Some of these comments are amazing. Unfortunately, I’ve deleted a lot of the best ones, but they keep coming in, so I’m going to post the two good ones I have now and update this segment whenever I get a healthy portion of hilarious or overly-complimentary spam comments.

1 – Car Moving’s Conversation with a Ghost -
Tried to post to “Assassin’s Creed II Review: Everything is Permitted

First up we have a robot named “Car Moving”. Let me just post the quote before getting into it.

@Marco I know what your mean. In the current economy its hard to find a company to work for that pays good enough to live on and is stable . I have found that if you just work hard and are consistent you can succeed. Look at the writer of this article, they are clearly hard working and have just been consistent over time and are now enjoying at least what would appear as somewhat of a success. I would encourage everyone to just keep hustling and moving forward.

Oh, I love this comment. I understand that some spam comments will randomly choose a subject and hope it sticks to the who-knows-how-many blogs it posts to, but Car Moving is not only talking about something completely irrelevant, but he’s replying to a dude named Marco. Now Riddlethos doesn’t have thousands of unique commentors, but we have our fair share. There is nobody named Marco that I remember, and there certainly isn’t on that specific post. To top it all off, it is Car Moving’s advice that we all just continue to hustle.

2 – Beau Ziego’s Bedspread -
Tried to post to “The Dust Has Settled: Day 1 – Ethos

Beau Ziego is a spambot of few words, but gosh darn it if the thing isn’t poetic.

Latarsha Dickensheets

What else do I need to say?