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by Ethos

Scatter Storming. Issue #045

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

We’re here, we’re creepin’ up on the ol’ 50 mark. How will Scatter Storming handle such an honour? We all know it will be disappointing, but in WHICH WAY will it be disappointing? That is the question. Anyhoo this is Issue 45, not 50, so I have the Ocarina of Time challenge that I talked about earlier today to get to.

Soooo, let’s get to it!

The Great Ocarina of Time Fail-Through

Earlier today, I randomly posted that I was going to attempt a one-sitting playthrough of Ocarina of Time.

Let me give a little bit of backstory first. First of all, it wasn’t quite as off-the-cuff as I made it seem. My roommate and I had been talking of a full playthrough for a while. He wasn’t as familiar with the game and I was craving to dive into Hyrule again.

I decided to play some piano and in the middle of the Kokiri Forest theme, my roommate says “Oh yeah! You want to play through Ocarina today?” So I got up, wrote that brief post you may see below, and booted up a new game.

Now, instead of relaying what actually happened, let me direct your attention to the prophetic comments that appeared on my post announcing my intentions. 7thCircle said:

Can we gamble on this? Can I bet that you don’t finish? Can we bet on when you give up? Deku Tree? Water Temple? The opening credits?

Cow said:

I too bet that you won’t beat it in one sit. You’ll get as far as the Water Temple like 7thCircle suggested. Then you will be like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!11 And throw a baby against a wall in protest.

Screw you guys! I made it to the Fire Temple. NEITHER of you predicted that one, suckers. And I didn’t stop because I was out of stamina. I could easily beat the whole thing with the right willpower. But not only did my roommate – understandably – lose a bit of interest watching, and not only would the TV be occupied in a few hours for the Oscars, but I had some thoughts that were also foretold. 7thCircle said:

OoT might be a liiiiiittle long, though, and you’d be cutting out the meandering exploration that’s one of the game’s strengths. I don’t think sprinting through the temples like a spiritless machine will be much fun.

This is a screenshot of Ocarina of Time

I had these exact thoughts while blasting through it. While I was enjoying things like the incredible mood of the Forest Temple, and story points like the infamous bridge scene with Saria when Link leaves the forest, or Princess Ruto’s proud façade, I spent more time wishing that I could just dick around and waste time in Hyrule Castle Town or Kakariko Village.

I realized that too often I just rush and I was finally feeling the need to take my time and explore the game again. Re-find places and moments that I had forgotten. Which brings me to the final prophetic comment from Cow:

But… But why? Why would you do this NOW?! OoT 3DS is coming soon and it will be less impactful if you do this now!

Good point. Playthrough closed down. Resume later this year when I’m sure we’ll have an Ocarina of Time Week proper. And I’ve been waiting two years to have that Theme Week here at Riddlethos. And speaking here at Riddlethos…

Where the Crap is Lameish?

Seriously, I’ve even had people on twitter ask about the next iteration of Call Me Lameish. Sure, Riddles and I have been neglectful too, and Lameish has a band and is apparently leaving the continent very soon. Okay, so maybe he has some excuses, but Ethos however…

Where the Crap are the Remaining Awards, Ethos?

Yes yes. The Best Theme Weeks and Best of Lord Riddles awards still haven’t been awarded. They will be, shockingly, but obviously very late.

I had assumed that I would have easier access to a decent video camera given where I work and the type of friends I have, but apparently not.

Oh right, I plan to make these video features to make up for the tardiness. Also a video Spam Comment Roundup is planned. I would tell you to get excited, but I need a camera first. So let’s take the focus off my failures and put them onto Riddles…

Where the Crap are Riddles’ BttF Impressions?

The fool requested we extend the week because he still wanted to talk about the game. Well? It’s Sunday! WHERE ARE YOUR OPINIONS?! Stuck up there with my late awards and your late Dead Space 2 Review?

…Wow, why do people still read this site?

I guess it’s the watching-a-train-wreck-phenomenon

This is one of the great commentators for Pro StarCraft II matches in Korea

Starcraft II Update

Watching the GSL pro-gamers is still awesome.

I’m still awful, but slightly better than before. More to come.

OH RIGHT!

I started Warrior Within HD. It’s definitely a better port than Sands of Time, but so far it’s definitely not a better game. I truly can’t take it seriously. Women with massive breasts wearing barely anything but their weapons, horrible one-liners, melodramatic story without the sense of charm from the original. The platforming is more challenging, and I suppose the combat is a bit more interesting, but I’m not hooked yet. Especially not after remembering how much I loved Sands of Time by recently beating it.

That’s all for now, fuckers. I’m getting ready for Pokémon Week, and you should be too. Daily PokéParty Updates, and rabid fanboy impressions. I tried to get an early copy, but I didn’t show up to their event, so I felt like it’d be a dick move to press the matter.

Oh, and I was going to take a picture of me with my Bieber My Balls shirt for the cover, but I ran out of batteries for Oliver’s camera.

Oh, and obviously I didn’t watch the Oscars. I learned my lesson about award shows years ago. I’ll tune in if anybody I know personally is nominated.

BYE FOR REALZ

Scatter Storming. Issue #044

Friday, February 11th, 2011

It took until the horrible month of February, but Scatter Storming is back! Let’s see if I remember how to do this.

I Caved and Bought StarCraft II

Yup, it finally happened. Of all the eSport-worthy games I’ve watched Pogo play – CounterStrike, Warcraft 3, Modern Warfare 2, and StarCraft II – this is the one that got my attention enough to make me want to play it.

Yes, I’m aware that MW2 is too broken to be called an eSport-worthy game, but I’d seen too many hours of it to not count it.

Anyhoo, I’m really trying to watch my cash when it comes to games for the next little bit, but I have no regrets. Just means the 3DS will likely have to wait; it’s definitely the least urgent of the upcoming goodies.

The point is that I’m horrible, but the game is very fun. And very stressful. But it’s satisfying to feel like I’m getting better. Very slowly, sure, but mastering something is one of the finest and most satisfying experiences in life. I’ll keep you guys posted once I exit the practice league and enter the real online ladder.

Ethos’ Confession #3:

Despite being a Zelda fanboy, I have never completed a console Zelda game released prior to Ocarina of Time, and have never completed a handheld Zelda game released prior to Phantom Hourglass.

Modern Family: “Bixby’s Back” Review

Just saw the most recent Valentine’s Day-theme episode of Modern Family, so I thought I’d do a quickie review.

It started off quite weak. Some poor acting, contrived writing, and a non-compelling scenario. I’m glad I stuck it out though, all four stories wrapped up very nicely, and the episode finally started delivering a lot of laughs past the halfway point.

It’s great to see Mitch and Cam continue to drop the “let’s not offend each other” shtick and have some of the better moments. But once again, Gloria wins moment of the episode with her equally oblivious and poignant ridiculousness. Even if the “twist” was a little expected, the delivery was excellend.

I’m a little tired of Phil’s fool/stud/fool rotation. I think this season is missing more interactivity between the families. At least we got Manny with Haley.

The summation? Good save with this episode.

SCORE: 6.5/10

Ethos’ Confession #4:

I’ve never properly played a Resident Evil game.

Ethos’ Confession #5:

I never beat any optional bosses or got Knights of the Round in Final Fantasy VII. Hell, I didn’t even get Vincent.

New Trophy War

The Trophy war I had with Abe80 ages ago obviously died out. Plus, I’m destroying him. But a new challenger enters! Eric J., another former Lusipurr.comian and I have started a war of our own, and it seems to be a much more heated battle.

He best sums up how it started on his site, but now we’re in the midst of coming up with a prize for the winner and/or a punishment for the loser.

We toyed with the idea of the loser moving to the other’s location, but that ended when I came to terms with the fact that I would never move to Michigan. Also that he’d be getting the way better end of that deal. Toronto is a world class city. But we still want a significant prize/punishment. Ideas?

That’s it for now! It feels good to be back. This year is going to be fucking insane for us gamers. It is the calm before the storm.