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by Ethos and Riddles

Guest Sunday Soapbox: Matti’s Bad Breakup with Nintendo

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

*This is a guest post written by neither Riddles nor Ethos. Still, please enjoy the writing stylings of Matti Cowan, aka Constipated Cow*

I recently updated my Facebook status to “…has officially lost interest in Nintendo”. I’ve been a Nintendo loyalist all throughout my gaming life, but I find now that I really just don’t care. Nintendo’s 2010 E3 press conference was adequate enough, but it gave me absolutely no good reason to hold on to my Wii. I was banking on Zelda to really impress me, but it doesn’t look like it will offer anything new, and I doubt if the Motion + controls will add any real depth to the gameplay. Is that what they even strive for anymore? Granted, I’ve not yet played the game but the landscapes looked uninspired, and the graphical style was underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, they looked fine, but I’m not drooling, and I’m a fucking cow – I should be drooling. Poo poo oh you, Aonuma, Miyamoto and that new director guy whose name I don’t care to look up or remember. Give a complete series overhaul. Take some fucking risks you pricks! Not just graphical Wind Waker type risks, but real, gritty, down to the bone risks. Change the series’ skeleton. Change the tone, structure, everything! It’s so tired! Unify its elements into a cohesive whole and give it emotional depth and character it deserves and is easily capable of.

My friends were, I think, shocked (and understandably doubtful) to read my status update – Ethos included. While I’ve been quite disappointed in Nintendo for a very long while, I’ve nevertheless clung to the hope that some day they would return to their former glory and awe and inspire me with epic, genre defining masterpieces. I’ve finally given up. If one day Nintendo’s eyes unglaze and they suddenly snap out of it, I will fellate them once again, but until that day comes I will be Nintendo celibate. I will definitely play, and beat Skyward Sword, it just won’t be on my own system. Ethos, I’m looking at you.

For me, Metroid Prime: Corruption was the last Nintendo game that I found to be groundbreaking. Before that there was Pikmin for the Nintendo Gamecube. Metroid Prime: Corruption proved to be truly epic, innovative, and isolating. It is perfect example of the brilliance of Nintendo’s former ghost. Corruption’s design is unprecedented on Wii, and, without relying on them, the Wii pointer controls actually add a level of immersion that isn’t yet possible on other gaming platforms. Unfortunately Nintendo’s future looks bleak. Despite an okay showing at E3 this year, none of the game announcements got me wet. There was Zelda Skyward Sword which looked fine, Donkey Kong which looked almost exactly like the SNES games (indeed it’s obvious that’s what they’re going for), Metroid Other M, and Kirby Epic Yarn (the latter looking the most exciting to me). Why are all these games in 2D?

Oh I have a solution! Pick me, pick me!; It’s because they’re fucking lazy sons of bitches who will recognize allure of their big name franchises – an allure that Nintendo built slowly, over decades. Now that they are established, they can sell cluster-fucks of games without needing to make them masterpieces, by slightly modifying an element or two and calling it “new”. This is the same bullshit that Apple does with all it’s versions of iPods; “Buy this new Nano! It now has a camera, ooo!” “But I already have a camera on my pho-” “BUY IT GODAMN IT!” “OKAY SORRY!”. I guess that’s a pretty unfair comparison though. New Super Mario Bros. Wii is extremely fun, it’s just not mind blowing. Nintendo knows that it doesn’t have to do anything extravagant to wipe their asses with $100 bills. It is all about appeasing the masses, and people like my brother who were vehement gamers in the early-mid 90s and are now exuberant to see a new 2D Donkey Kong game that doesn’t push the boundaries in any way and looks classically retro.

Today I rather sadly posted my Nintendo Wii and all of my games (except for the Prime trilogy) up for auction on eBay (if you know anybody thinking of purchasing a Wii, please send them my way. I’ve got tons of other games for sale too). While some of these games have provided lots of fun for me, none have blown my mind since Corruption which was released early on in the Wii’s cycle and was likely in development for quite some time before Nintendo realized that they could get away with handing us plates full of mediocrity. With the profits of this eBay sale I plan on purchasing a PS3 Slim so that I may engage play in deep, moody games with atmosphere and call out, “COW!” in bed rather than, “GRANNY!”.

I post quite frequently over at IGN, and know first hand how blasphemous it is to criticize Nintendo in any way. The fanboys legitimately do not think that there is a problem. It’s pathetic, and depressing. They settle for less that perfection, and cling to what Nintendo was: a great gaming company that pushed the limits and delivered groundbreaking, innovative games. Their loss. It’s time to grow up.

Sunday Soapbox: Are We The Waiting – E3 Hopes and Dreams

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Hoo-ah. It’s Sunday. E3 2010 kicks off in less than 36 hours. For people like myself, this is something to get excited for. E3 2010 is the single greatest deluge of gaming information in a given year. Exciting announcements, tons of demonstrations, tons of new videos and media, and of course, impressions from the show floor. Like all E3’s before it, E3 2010 will set the general tone and direction of the game industry for the next  year. So, it’s a big deal, and it’s definitely something to be excited for as a gamer.

E3 is almost like Christmas for gamers. Every year, there are those couple of announcements or game reveals that we’re desperately hoping to see. Sometimes our wishes come true, and sometimes they don’t – but, hell, making up the wishlist is half the fun anyway. So. Without further ado, let’s discuss some things I’m expecting – or hoping – to come out of E3 2010

New Wii Zelda Title – Well, this one’s a given. We’ve been looking for concrete information on this game ever since we got over Twilight Princess – which, if you’re like me, wasn’t too long after release. Sure, we’ve had a few clever handheld titles to tide us over, but Toon Link’s dual-screened appeal is wearing thin, if you ask me. We need a new Zelda game. Die-hard Zelda fanboys like myself are losing faith, and that’s something that I, personally, never thought could happen. I’ve all but given up on Nintendo as a company; all I ask now is for them to give me Zelda – alive and unspoiled.

The Last Guardian

This is a similar case, actually. It’s been five years since Team ICO gave us Shadow of the Colossus. I understand, of course, that if they hope to live up to SotC’s brilliant standard, it’ll require some time. But, the cat’s been out of the bag for a while – they released a trailer last year, if your recall. And then, we didn’t hear a thing. Hopefully, with E3 2010, that will change.

Oh, and confirmation of the rumored Shadow of the Colossus/ICO HD remixes (ala God of War collection) would also be great. Eh? Eh, Sony? Come on, now.

Persona 5, Anyone…?

This one’s a bit of a long shot, but it’s not impossible. I wasn’t sure if Atlus would be at the show, initially, but a quick Google search confirmed that they are – and while a Persona 5 isn’t on their list of games to showcase, perhaps a surprise reveal could be in store? The Persona series has performed well enough in the states; I think E3 would be a fine place to announce it. For PS3. Please.

Ninja Theory’s Devil May Cry 5

This has been rumored in the past, and I’d love to see it confirmed at the show. Ninja Theory, the developer behind Heavenly Sword and the soon- to-be-released Enslaved: Odyssey to the West might be the developers behind the fifth installment of Capcom’s demon-slaying franchise. It’s definitely a franchise that could use a shot in the arm, especially if it’s to contend with the high bar set by Bayonetta. And who knows, Ninja Theory might be the ones to do it.

Kingdom Hearts 3

Last, but certainly not least. It’s been over four years since Kingdom Hearts II. I’m losing interest in the franchise fast. I don’t want to see it devolve into an endless stream of portable spin-offs. Nomura needs to get his shit together, and give us some info on the next real installment in the Kingdom Hearts story. Am I right, or am I right?

Well, that’s my wishlist. Or a part of it, at least. I could go on and on about E3 wishes, but I have to work tomorrow morning. And besides, the show will start soon enough anyway – so all wishful thinking will be rendered moot.

Sunday Soapbox: Let’s Play in the Sandbox!

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

Now, while I may have failed at writing… well, anything this week, I did happen to pick up a copy of Red Dead Redemption. Sure, I didn’t pick up up until Saturday evening, but, did get my hands on it. (Xbox 360 version.) And, I did play it. In fact I played a decent 5-hour chunk, and while I feel I need more time to provide decent impressions, I also feel like now’s a great time to talk about “Sandbox” games in general. What makes a good sandbox game good? What works in a sandbox game and what doesn’t? What are some examples of good and bad sandbox games?

For the hell of it, let’s first define a “sandbox” game. On Wikipedia, a sandbox or “open world” game is described as follows:

The term sandbox refers more to the mechanics of a game and how, as in a physical sandbox, the user is entertained by their ability to play creatively, boundless of artificial structural constraints, and with there being “no right way” of playing the game.

Yeah, I referenced Wikipedia. Got a problem with that? In any case, the above description is pretty darn accurate. Sandbox, free-roaming, open world; they all mean the same thing: a game in which you’re allowed to freely traverse a massive, open gameworld, and interact with that game world however you see fit. Think Grand Theft Auto. Assassin’s Creed. Infamous. Prototype. Fallout 3. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. And, of course, Red Dead Redemption.

So, what is it that makes a sandbox game fun? What makes a good sandbox experience, as opposed to an average one?

In my opinion, the most important requirement for a sandbox game is also a very simple one – there has to be a wide variety of things to do. Quests, tasks, missions, whatever they may be – but in order for the player to shape his own experience within the sandbox, you have to give him the appropriate tools. If you present them with a massive, open world to explore, and then populate it with only four or five different activities, then the player will quickly become bored. Plain and simple. And yes, I am glaring at the original Assassin’s Creed right now.

I’ll take this as an opportunity to discuss Red Dead Redemption. As Ethos stated in his insomniac edition of Scatter Storming, there is indeed, a “shit ton” to do. And, for now at least, it’s all fun. There are bandits to kill, Sheriffs to aid, property to buy, poker to play, horses to ride, treasure to hunt, movies to watch – the list could go on and on and on. And this is what’s opened up in the initial five hours – I highly doubt I’ve seen all there is to see. It’s quite shocking, really. And a lot of fun.

Another crucial component of a quality sandbox game is this: the ability to impact the world around you in a noticable, meaningful, or profitable way. Preferably all three. In Red Dead Redemption, if you perform noble task, you’ll score with the noble folk – including local Sheriffs and other such influential people. However, if you go for a more aggressive, self-serving, or violent approach to things, you’ll get in close with the seedy criminal factions. In Assassin’s Creed II, city guards will treat you differently depending on how many people you’ve stabbed lately. And, not to mention, your financial contributions can restore an entire town from slums to splendor.

A bad example would be the original Assassin’s Creed. Assassin’s Creed II is one of the best sandbox games I’ve ever played, which makes it that much more ironic that the original Assassin’s Creed is probably one of the worst. I’ve already called it out for having nothing to do within its massive world; but in addition to that, what you do has absolutely zero effect on the world at large. Kill as many people as you want, be they civilians or assassination targets, and nothing changes. And, aside from stabbing people, there really isn’t any meaningful way to interact with the world of Assassin’s Creed. I know it’s a bit late to be on the Assassin’s Creed hatewagon, and that’s not really my intent here – it is, though, one of the better bad examples.

If the player is expected to spend all of his time within the bounds of a single, massive gameworld, then it had better be a good world. And by “good” I mean endearing, believable, and attractive – make the player want to explore it. Red Dead Redemption pulls this off quite impressively; night and day, a bustling virtual populace makes the world seem very much alive, and very much like a real place. People talk aloud about current events in the world, passer-byes on horses shout hellos, bandits attack on the road, drunken idiots attack prostitutes – some of it sounds trivial, and some of it ridiculous – but its the small, quirky things that make a world feel alive and endearing to the player. A big city filled with mindless, shambling mutes doesn’t quite cut it – and, while I could glare at Assassin’s Creed yet again, I think I’ll take the opportunity to glare at the much-overrated Infamous.

Gameplay in a sandbox game is, perhaps, the greatest challenge. Why? Because gameplay mechanics have to be solid enough to hold up for a long period of time, (as many hours as the player chooses, really) and they have to be able to work in a variety of interchangeable gameplay scenarios. Since there’s no traditional level design, you can’t ever really use gimmicks – such as, say, a level on the back of a massive Titan. No offense to God of War, or course; just using that as an example of something you generally won’t find in a sandbox. So, this being the case, the core, “day-to-day” mechanics (as it were) have to be strong. And, once again, Red Dead Redemption is a shining example of that. Combat is nothing new – in fact, it’s suspiciously similar to that found in Uncharted – but it’s solid, fun, and bloody. The “Dead Eye” ability, while just another incarnation of Bullet Time, is still incredibly awesome. It has to be used sparingly, but that makes it all the sweeter when you activate it, and deliver head shots to five different bandits with your double-barreled rifle. Horse riding is surprisingly enjoyable; perhaps because of how beautiful the rugged Western landscapes are, and thus how beautiful the sites are.

Oh, wait... this one was ALMOST a sandbox game. Sorry.

Perhaps the most difficult thing to do, though, when building a sandbox game is this: maintaining a narrative that can move at the player’s pace, yet retain its focus as a whole. Sure, you want a compelling story to accompany the world you’re in – but, you also don’t want to be hindered by it. It’s a tough line to walk, but once again, Red Dead nails it. Basically, the story is advanced whenever you decide to take on a story mission. These missions are often simplistic, and short, but they always add something to the overarching story. Even if it’s just a three-minute conversation during a carriage ride into town, you’re always given some valuable bit of information or character development. And, since these missions are generally short and sweet, that means you can keep the story moving at a brisk pace – if you want to. But you probably won’t want to. You might want to spend 45 minutes or so completing two or three story missions, and then an hour or two riding around, shooting at game, fending off bandits, picking flowers, or trying your hand at the (highly addictive) poker minigame. Think it sounds simple? Well, it should be, but not many games get it this right. In Infamous, the story takes a backseat for hours at a time while you carry out overly-elongated story missions that do very little to advance the actual plot. If you don’t have a compelling story to accompany the world, players will lose interest.

Sandbox games can provide some of the most memorable gaming experiences, since they’re largely shaped by you, and how you choose to exist in the world around you. But, like any genre, there’s a big difference between a good sandbox game, and an average one. Or… a bad one. With the advent of current-generation hardware, the genre’s become quite a bit more popular than it once was. Frankly, it’s a trend that will probably continue to grow. With games like Assassin’s Creed II and Grand Theft Auto 4 selling in the several millions, the people have expressed their love of the sandbox genre. But hey, if games like Red Dead Redemption are any indication, this could be a good thing.

Sunday Soapbox: A Diamond in the Rough

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

We’re wrapping up a successful week here at Riddlethos.com. I played, beat, and reviewed Super Mario Galaxy 2, and Riddles did fuck-all. Y’know, the usual. I’m more than okay with it though, I obviously enjoyed Galaxy 2 quite a bit and it was nice playing a top-notch Nintendo game again.

Ultimately, that’s what I want to talk about. How can Nintendo do something so incredibly right with the Mario Galaxy series and continue to mess everything else up? Since the release of the Wii, it’s been a constant downhill ride for all Nintendo fanboys. I’ll admit that I was still one of those back in 2006. I had confidence that Nintendo could bring the heat with the Wii and that the system would live up to its codename, Revolution. While getting HD systems and games of my own definitely helped in my disillusionment, Nintendo also worked hard to lose my vote. I actually had a lot of fun with Wii Sports, but after the novelty wore out, it was easier to notice that the Wiimote wasn’t everything the hype cracked it up to be. Sadly, the Wii Sports games still make the best use of the controller while still feeling like you’re not in complete control.

12 years ago, Nintendo paved the road in cutting-edge console software

Unfortunately, this was the first step. Wii Sports concentrated on showcasing the underwhelming and overpriced motion controls, when the actual advancement of the Wii is pointer controls. Although pointer controls are intuitive, quick, and inspire innovation, Nintendo continues to push the thought that the Wii is all about swinging your arms around in a vague attempt to make a game do what you want. It was a downward spiral after this. Mario Kart is a broken game, Wii Music is embarrassing, and the Wii interface continues to fall further and further behind while Nintendo claims that nobody wants the things that the system is missing. People don’t care about HD, they say! Who needs a persistent online ID and well integrated storefront? People want to feel completely alone with their console experience! Achievement systems devalue gameplay! Funny, then, that Nintendo includes achievement systems in some of their bigger titles like Metroid Prime 3 and Wii Sports Resort.

And when Nintendo finally does play catch-up, it’s way too little way too late. SD Card support for WiiWare and Virtual Console titles should have happened at least 12 months earlier than it did, and Wii MotionPlus charges you to fix your Wiimote to be (still a little less than) what it promised to be 4 years ago!

Instead of releasing games that would showcase the system’s “capabilities” like a Pikmin or Pilotwings sequel, they release New Super Mario Bros. which plays like a Super Nintendo game and Super Smash Brothers which is best played with a Gamecube Controller.

To “fix” this problem, apparently the answer is to “simplify” the controls for a “complicated” game like Zelda. I’m sorry, but the controls for Mario are just as “complex” as Zelda’s but Galaxy 2 chose to cleverly include ways for new players to not feel overwhelmed while not holding back advanced players. That, of course, is my main point, but I’ll get back to that in a second.

Even the most dedicated fanboys couldn't defend this one...

I’m sorry, Nintendo, but you have enough software for the casual audience to not take steps backward in your prize franchises. Why not incorporate a skill level rating on your games? LEGO does it, I’m sure you could too. The point is that Nintendo is just confused. I actually think that Wii Fit is a fine piece of software. But it requires a whole new peripheral to even function. They want to bring everything to everyone, and in the process, it has resulted in the complete isolation of their original fanbase. My grandmother will never want to play Zelda, why cater to the audience that has proven will not buy the software anyway?

But I could rant like this all night, the point is that why – amidst all this confusion and watering-down – has Nintendo also come out with their strongest software of the decade? My gushing review says it all. I think Nintendo did very little wrong with their latest release. Excepting the lack of HD, Super Mario Galaxy 2 radiates all the care, effort, and production values from the Nintendo glory days. They were able to make a game that actually is appealing to lots of different people, not the sort of “all ages” that caters to the lowest common denominator. Although Zelda’s structure isn’t exactly built for the same sort of intuitive multi-tiered difficulty levels, it stills seems like Ninty is going the lazy route as they’ve done with everything else. Just compare Nintendo’s philosophy with Mario Galaxy to the other extreme, Wii Music. Both are games “everybody can play”, but one doesn’t treat the player like an idiot, and the other – frankly – does.

Admittedly, even Nintendo seems to regret Wii Music, but that doesn’t mean that the game doesn’t represent a magnified version of their still current stance.

Ultimately, although the Super Mario Galaxy games are good signs that Nintendo is still capable of producing excellent software while managing to also coddle their precious casual crowd, it’s been too long to expect any of sort philosophy change in the near future. E3 very likely won’t bring the death of friend codes or the birth of a Wii HD. For every Metroid: Other M announcement, we’ll have 10 Wii Vitality Sensor announcements. Nonetheless I’m happy to enjoy a game like Galaxy 2 that will hopefully one day no longer just be a diamond in the rough.

Sunday Soapbox: When Bad Crosses Over Into Good

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Well this week turned into something a little different than intended when Riddles’ infamous banner made the first few days explode into madness. The rest of the week just couldn’t live up. Not even the best Scatter Storming in the existence of both storms and scattering. Either way, if nothing else, this theme week exposed that I essentially only talk in Star Fox 64 quotes. I’ll be frank in admitting that there isn’t much of an editorial hidden within the addictively terrible one-liners from that game, but it was interesting to hear Riddles tell me that he didn’t really care for the 7 minutes he played of the title. He panned it for archaic controls and obviously didn’t love it enough to start quoting it daily like I do.

His next point was to accuse me of seeing the game through a thick nostalgia lense. While I’d never deny that nostalgia is a significant part of my love for the game, I also have massive nostalgia for games like Mario Kart 64, and when I return to that game, it simply doesn’t hold up anymore. The same could be said for Pilotwings 64, and Wave Race 64. Still, when I load up Star Fox 64 again, the same pacing is there, the same deceptively deep on-rails strategy is there, and – of course – the one liners are exactly how I remember them. Some quotes are built up and exaggerated to an extreme point to which the original sounds bland and forgettable. It’s strange, but every line in that game is just so quotable, and so memorably articulated that I’m never let down when I play the game again. What’s even more bizarre is that it’s obviously not very good voice acting, but I don’t think I’d have such fond memories of the title or have as much fun replaying it if every moment wasn’t so fucking quotable.

Like I predicted, I don’t have much to say, and therefore haven’t said much in this crater of a Sunday Soapbox, but to make it up to you all, I leave you with the greatest comic ever drawn. Thank you VG Cats.

Sunday Soapbox: Why Nocturne is Better Than Final Fantasy XIII

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

It’s safe to say that most of us have tried Final Fantasy XIII, and found it lacking. Maybe you appreciate the game for what it is, but wish it was more. Maybe you only found pleasure in the game’s battle system, which is widely hailed as its strongest aspect. Or perhaps, like me, you hated pretty much everything about the game.

During the fifteen hours or so that I spent hating Final Fantasy XIII, I often found myself simply wondering why I was hating it so much. Was it just because the game itself was bad? Or, was it possible that I was just losing my taste for JRPGs in general? I considered the latter a distinct possibility, because in the last year I really haven’t played that many RPGs – so maybe, possibly, they just weren’t my thing anymore.

Well, twelve hours into Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, I’ve discovered that’s not the case. I’m enjoying the hell out of it, and because of that I’ve come to the definitive conclusion that Final Fantasy XIII is just a bad game. So, why am I enjoying Nocturne so much when Final Fantasy XIII made me cringe? Allow me to explain.

I Feel Like a Part of Nocturne’s World

I might as well begin by attacking Final Fantasy XIII’s weakest aspect. As pretty as it might look, Final Fantasy XIII never manages to connect you to the world you’re in. In fact, Final Fantasy XIII seems to go out of its way to ensure that you can never feel a tangible connection with its world. You’re never allowed to interact with your surroundings in any way; and, in fact, the only real player input to be found is within Final Fantasy XIII’s battle system. You can’t talk to NPCs. You can’t explore towns. Hell, for the majority of the game, you can’t even decide how to evolve the Crystarium. Final Fantasy XIII, for all intents and purposes, is on rails.

Hail the advent of the rail-turn-based-fighting game.

Now, let’s consider Nocturne. When I’m in a new place, I can go talk to NPCs to gather info and insight about the area I’m in, who lives there, who runs it, and how it works. When I’m exploring the world, I’m actually exploring – I’m not walking a straight line. In short, I’m allowed to piece together my own understanding of the world, rather than being force-fed through crappy cutscenes. My connection the world and events at large advance at my own pace, not at the pace of some dsylexic Japanese man who thinks he’s writing something epic.

Nocturne Actually Has an Atmosphere

Because Final Fantasy XIII force-feeds you the specifics of its world and events, the game is never allowed to develop a palpable atmosphere. You see, atmosphere doesn’t have anything to do with writing or storytelling – it’s essentially how the game feels while you’re playing it. And, as I’ve already said, the only time you’re ever playing Final Fantasy XIII is when you’re in combat.

Nocturne doesn’t have that problem. In fact, Nocturne has one of the richest, most unique atmospheres I’ve ever experienced in a JRPG. The lack of human party members, combined with the post-apocalyptic setting, evokes an atmosphere that’s comparable to games like Metroid Prime, Shadow of the Colossus, and (to cite another RPG) Vagrant Story. To sum up, while Final Fantasy XIII is simply a task, Nocturne is an experience.

Nocturne Has Less of a Story, Yet More

Nocturne takes a fairly minimalist approach to story exposition. In spite of that, the events taking place are far more engaging than Final Fantasy XIII’s nonsensical mess of a plotline. Why? Oh, well, it’s pretty simple. Atlus has good writers. See Persona 3 and 4 for additional proof of that. Square Enix, on the other hand, does not. Or, if they do, they didn’t let them anywhere near Final Fantasy XIII’s script.

Nocturne’s Battle System is Better

There was a time that I said good things about Final Fantasy XIII’s battle system. And, to be fair, it’s certainly not a bad system – it’s just not great by any means. Call it streamlined, call it “fast and furious,” call it a great example of Macro vs Micro-management, but in my opinion, it’s just dumbed down. Paradigms are simply a heavily generalized form of XII’s gambits, and there’s absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t be able to issue manual commands to my party members.

Nocturne, like all of the Shin Megami Tensei games, has one of the deepest, most strategic battle systems I’ve seen in an RPG. Recruiting a variety of demons to fight on your side is not only a ton of fun in and of itself, but it also lends itself to deliciously complex combat strategies – aside from titles such as Final Fantasy Tactics or Fire Emblem, I’ve never played an RPG that places so much emphasis on building and preening a strong party. Just one demonic member can make all the difference, and the combinations are practically endless. In Final Fantasy XIII, “strategy” is letting the right dog off the chain at the right time. In Nocturne, you’re the one building the team, strengthening the team, and guiding the team – and that’s how it should be.

Nocturne Has Dante In It

Yep, that’s right. Dante, from Devil May Cry. The ultimate demon-hunting badass. Atlus struck a deal with Capcom to get him in their game. This is something the Square Enix clearly failed at, and it cost them.

I know that not everyone’s going to agree with me here. But, all you sensible people will, I’m sure. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne is a better game than Final Fantasy XIII in every conceivable way.

Except for those graphics. Those graphics were sweeeeet.

Sunday Soapbox: Seasons of Gaming

Monday, April 26th, 2010
Where are the pegs? Or zombies?

Where are the pegs? Or zombies?

Well that was a bit of a silly week, no? Low-key, maybe, but fun nonetheless. In fact, it was nice to create a list of games that I would otherwise never talk about. Not one of the games in my Sunshine Games List would crack my top ten favourite games, or maybe even my top 25, but they were all easy picks for me. Even Flower is too melancholy, and FFIX too melodramatic and involved to be considered. And it was interesting devising my list because my criteria essentially consisted of two categories: “Fun-loving” and “Fun to play”. This made me wonder how much fun I actually have playing the games I typically find myself playing.

It should come as no surprise that I’m a RPG guy. But I like them for customization, story, mood, and the feeling of satisfaction in seeing direct benefits to the time I put in. I’m really having the same amount of fun I have when I see a movie. I enjoy myself, and I’m taking in an experience, but it’s rare for me to be giggling furiously in my seat because of all the fun I’m having. Next up is sports games; I essentially play them like RPGs. I create my entire team from scratch and the actual matches are just means to an end. The end being staring at stat pages. Finally, I can be a racing game fan on occasion, but even then I’ve enjoyed the Gran Turismo series and Forza 3 because you start with shitty cars and the more you race, the more you unlock more races and better cars. See the pattern here?

Now I’m not knocking this at all. I love the games I play and the reasons why I play them, it’s just interesting to compare a game like Tecmo Stackers to a game like NHL 10 and notice that one is more of an activity and the other more like a “game”. Not to make this soapbox into another tired “we need a new word for ‘games’” because I disagree, “game” is a fine term, and it’s not going anywhere. The term “graphic novel” is accurate, but you’ll still sound like a pretentious asshole when you say it.

That's better.

Believe it or not, what I’m trying to say with all this is that I love that we celebrate the seasons here at Riddlethos and I love that we try to draw arbitrary parallels to the gaming world as well. Because – like the seasons – all facets of gaming have their place and – like the seasons – these different sides can actually compliment and juxtapose each other very well. Just tonight I enjoyed the hilarious writing and incredible music of Lunar, then I made my season in NHL 10 extremely unbalanced by making all the settings wildly in my favour just to see how high I can get my stats, then finally I came to my room and tried to beat my high score in a survival mode with Plants vs. Zombies. How gloriously diverse. I was able to soak in the art of others, exploit settings to boost my ego, and give myself a challenge all within a few hours and all within the same medium.

But I should wrap this up before it becomes more scattered than the recently troubled Scatter Storming column. The point is that like long Canadian Winters, sometimes the beauty and novelty of 82 hour RPGs or 82 game NHL seasons starts to wear thin, and stupid fun like Peggle can melt away gaming fatigue like seeing blossoms on trees that you forgot were alive. Wow, when the similes get that bad, it’s time for bed. Goodnight, and I look forward to seeing you all for Backlog Week 2!

Sunday Soapbox: Everyone’s Fantasy

Sunday, April 11th, 2010
Final Fantasy

Thanks to whoever made this. It wasn't me.

Ah, Final Fantasy. There aren’t many other franchises that foster such an emotional connection with its fanbase. Everyone has a favorite Final Fantasy game that they’re willing to defend to the bitter end – and, usually, a Final Fantasy game that they hate with a fierce passion.  From whimsical tales of swords and sorcery to gritty sci-fi epics, the series has been everywhere – and, as fans, we’ve been there for every high and low. It’s hard to describe, and it doubtless has something to do with the mere longevity of the franchise, but Final Fantasy has this remarkable way of forming a very special bond with gamers in a way that no other franchise really can.

What do I mean? Ah… well, let’s try it this way.

My first Final Fantasy game was actually Final Fantasy X. Yes, I was very late to the show.  But, hey, I certainly could have picked a worse place to start. I loved (and continue to love) Final Fantasy X. Turn-based battling wasn’t entirely new to me, but Final Fantasy X was the first time I fell in love with it. I felt like I was employing some form of strategy to take down my enemies – a sensation that was new to me at the time, since my (rather short) gaming track record at the time was diluted with (usually rather crappy) action games.

I loved the game’s storyline. Final Fantasy X was the first videogame I’d ever played that actually had an immersive story that I could sink my teeth into. I loved the characters with real personalities, I loved the melodrama, and I loved the epic moments. To be fair, if I played Final Fantasy X for the first time today, I doubt it would would be quite as impactful. But nine years ago, it was pretty much the greatest thing I’d ever experienced.

Final Fantasy VII came next. Eager to explore the series further, I ordered it off of Amazon (or something) a few short days after finishing X. And within a few short hours of playing, my ongoing love affair with Final Fantasy was sealed. I remember loving the fact that many of the conventions in X were present in VII – y’know, like potions, phoenix downs, summons, chocobos, and all the usual staples. If that sounds like a silly thing to glee over, that’s probably because it is – but hey, all I can do is tell it like it is. Meeting Cait Sith for the first time and realizing that he looked just like one of the dolls that Lulu used in Final Fantasy X made me unbelievably happy. Probably too happy.

I think I played Final Fantasy VIII next. By this time I had a pretty firm grasp on the gist of the series, and I was intrigued by the rather unique that Final Fantasy VIII took. It was around then that I started to appreciate the series not just for its traditions, but also for differences between the individual games. We all have our preferences, yes, but I think most of us will agree that if Final Fantasy was the same game every time, a lot of the charm would be lost. Take Final Fantasy VIII for example: the game made some odd decisions, and a lot of people don’t exactly appreciate them. But regardless of that, Final Fantasy VIII has carved out an immortal spot among the hearts of gamers, be it a place of hatred or adoration. What if the game had never existed? The people who love it for its oddities (like myself) would have one less game to love, and all of the haters wouldn’t have the opportunity to tell the fans why they’re stupid for liking it. The karmic balance would be thrown off, and everything would just… be wrong.

I know I’m talking nonsense now, but all I’m really trying to do is convey something that’s very difficult to put into words. For a lot of people – like myself – Final Fantasy is more than just another videogame franchise. It is, for lack of a less cliched way to put it, a part of us. Its high points are our high points. And, similarly, its low points tend to be low points for us.

Like, say, Final Fantasy XIII. Obviously I can’t speak for everyone here, but I can certainly speak for myself: Final Fantasy XIII is more than just a massive disappointment; it’s almost a betrayal. Now, I’m not going into another anti-FFXIII tirade (the internet has plenty of those) but it’s an example of just how personal the series is. Well, to me at least. I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so angry at a game as I am at Final Fantasy XIII, and that’s because I love the series so damn much.

Some 847 words later, I’m still unsure if I’ve managed to convey… anything. Hopefully I’ve managed to explain my own love for Final Fantasy, if nothing else. If you thought today’s soapbox was an unorganized, poorly-structured mess just blame Ethos. He was supposed to write part of it, and pulled the rug out from under me at the last minute so he could go help  his mom move. Or something stupid like that.

But that’s enough from me. Why do you guys love Final Fantasy?

Sunday Soapbox: An Unbreakable Bond

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

photoOh, that title is so very… gay. I think I’ll keep it.

Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, Fools in April is just a clever way of saying “April Fools,” and it can be applied to approximately 90% of the things we wrote this week. I know that most of you were fully aware, and simply along for the ride, but for the few of you who weren’t sure: APRIL FOOLS.

Really, though, I suppose you shouldn’t feel too stupid if you found yourself in doubt. I’m going to take this opportunity to pat Ethos and I on the back, because the buildup to the shitstorm that went down on April Fools Day was perfectly done. Seriously, I occasionally stand in awe of just how awesome we are. It started with my review of God of War III, and ended with Ethos committing suicide and coming back as a zombie. For your convenience, I’ve summarized the Unfortunate Series of Events below:

Ethos Writes an Editorial Entitled “Why Riddles Sucks.” Feeling the need to berate Riddles for dropping the ball during God of War III Week, Ethos writes a slanderous editorial.

Riddles Reviews God of War III. Feeling upstaged, one-upped, and generally shamed, Ethos responds with hurt confusion. (See the comments.)

Riddles Writes an Editorial Entitled “Why Ethos Sucks.” Feeling the need to call Ethos out for being a baby, and also to retaliate against Ethos’ slanderous editorial, Riddles provides a scathing insight to Ethos’ general incompetence.

Ethos Claims that Riddles has gone “A bit too far.” Tensions rise as Ethos retaliates, making the ridiculous claim that Riddles overrated BioShock 2.

Riddles Vows a Terrible Revenge - Riddles vows to take away “that which Ethos holds most dear.” Scary, scary…

Riddles Hijjacks Scatter Storming – A ballsy, but necessary move. It sent a clear message, and it was also the best Scatter Storming ever written.

Ethos Loses his Shit – Enraged, Ethan makes no less than three Riddles-themed de-motivational posters. Little does he know that Riddles’ revenge had yet to even begin. Props to him for this disgustingly offensive banner, though.

riddlescockweek

riddlesLogo

This was pure brilliance.

Riddles Takes Over the Site – The plan goes into full effect when Riddlethos.com becomes Riddles.com. New logo and everything. Ethos is locked out of the site, and Riddles refuses to let him back in, in spite of his painful groveling.

Ethos Commits Suicide – driven to the brink by the loss of his friend, feature, and finally website, Ethos commits a very nasty form of suicide.

Ethos Returns as a Zombie – Still not sure what to say about this one.

So, I guess the moral of the story is that even death can’t keep the two of us apart. Kill one of us, and… we’ll just return as a zombie.

Seriously, though, it’d take a lot more than that petty bullshit to tear the two of us apart. Riddlethos isn’t just about our two personalities, per se; but about how our two personalities co-exist and compliment eachother. In the sphere of video gaming, at least. Sure, there are striking differences between us, which is part of the fun  - but this site couldn’t exist without the two of us.

And I know how fruity the above paragraph sounds, and I’m totally okay with it.

LONG LIVE RIDDLETHOS.

(p.s, I promise that next week will see the return of actual editorial content in the Sunday Soapbox.)

Sunday Soapbox: Why Ethos Sucks

Sunday, March 28th, 2010
Me trying to kill Ethos.

Me trying to kill Ethos.

I’m sorry to subject you to what may seem like more filler material, but this is a truth the world must be informed of.

Okay, so I might have dropped the ball during God of War III Week. I can admit to it. But seeing that I was in the process of losing my job that week (don’t ask) I think I have something of an excuse, don’t you?

Apparently that’s not good enough for Ethos, inconsiderate fuck that he is. It’s evidenced by last Sunday’s Soapbox, which, if you recall, did little more than malign me. Wrongfully. So, in a form of brutal retaliation, I’m doing the same thing to him.

Ha ha! Ha! HA!

Seriously, though, the dude’s the worst. Everything he touches turns to shit. I fucked up God of War III Week, so to punish me he “took control” this week.

The week’s practically over, and what did we get from him? His standby Scatter Storming (really hardly relevant to the gamers of today, imo) and some PokeParty bullshit that nobody cares about. Seriously, am I supposed to give two fucks what little shits he chooses for his pet collection? No. No, I am not supposed to, and I won’t. Because Pokemon is dumb.

On the flip side, in the last seven days, I’ve brought you no less than two HLLs, and three reviews. And a Penny Arcade strip. And… something else, probably. But anyway, three reviews. I’d like to see Ethan match that in the span of three months.

Oh, and remember the little hissy he threw over the my God of War III review? Just because it was better than his? Gee, Ethos, I’m sorry you deleted half of your original review and then threw it back together last-minute. I really am. But don’t get mad at me for writing a fair, balanced, and well-structured review of one of 2010’s biggest games.

Oh, and while he may CLAIM to have finished Final Fantasy XIII, I won’t believe it until I see a review. And that won’t happen, because when it comes down to it, he’s the lazy fuck around here – not me.

So, there’s the Soapbox. Just as he promised. Hope you all enjoyed it! And I hope you enjoy this. Click on it for the hi-res version. Print multiple copies and post them in random places around your office. Hand them out to friends and family. Or, simply set it as your computer’s wallpaper, so that you never forget.

ethosposter